Thank you for your supportive words. It's nice to hear from people who really understand. Just yesterday at a get together, I bumped into some friends who I haven't seen for a year, who also have a 3 year old son. He is not autistic, but has a speech delay. I told them about Matt, and they jumped in and said, "everyone is so quick to label". So, I guess when I hear things like that, I start to question if they are right. Of course, I will continue his ABA, and specialized pre school, because I do see teriffic progress. I guess in a few years from now, he wont remember any of it.
One more thing, do your kids have days, or even just hours, where they seem so "normal", and then you get out in public, or around other kids their age, and you notice the difference. I find that a lot with Matt. At home, he's very happy, and interacts with us here and there. When we go out, especially to someone's home, or crowded areas, he will not look at anyone, and is VERY nervous. He will rock, and start making noise, until we leave.
I try to expose him to new people and places, which was advised by ABA. Do you agree?
One more thing, do your kids have days, or even just hours, where they seem so "normal", and then you get out in public, or around other kids their age, and you notice the difference. I find that a lot with Matt. At home, he's very happy, and interacts with us here and there. When we go out, especially to someone's home, or crowded areas, he will not look at anyone, and is VERY nervous. He will rock, and start making noise, until we leave.
I try to expose him to new people and places, which was advised by ABA. Do you agree?
Matt's mom
Yup. I live in such a bubble of "differenced" children that I sometimes forget then we get out amongst the Earth people and I am like, "Oh yeah.... " LOL.
I think it is very good to continue to expose our kids to everyday situations, so I definately agree with the ABA folks who advised you in that way.
(((hugs))) and I wish you continued success with his programs.
I can definately relate to your illustration about "days or hours" when our kids seem normal. My son is similar to that! He is technically not diagnosed but has so many symptoms that I am researching it prior to the "3" year miracle age.
Some days my son will respond to his name, smile and laugh, be ticklish, love to hug & snuggle. Those are days when I think my mind is playing games with me. There are days when he looks to me for reassurance, when he is happy, and just soooooo adorable.
But then we wake up some mornings and there are no "sparks" of understanding. Times when he stares at the wall when we call his name, doesn't respond to our sayings, or has no comprehension.
He has yet to say his first word (age 27 months), does not point at things, does not bring things to us, nor will he follow a command. He also has no pretend play but he does mimic people some times.
The strange thing, I wish someone could tell me if this is normal for some children as my older two didn't do this, but he will learn something and will use/do the newly acquired skill for a day or two, but then he will completely lose the skill again. When we try to get him to do that skill again he just acts completely lost! As if he doesn't remember ever learning it.
My son was diagnosed at 32 months. I had all the evals done, and that was because it was recommended by his day care center. Even though I had my own suspicions, I didn't want to "see" them. He had a speech evel, OT eval,
special ed eval within 3 weeks of each other. they all noted lack of eye contact, and difficulty in transition, with delays in the 3 areas. I took him to a neurologist after these evals, and she diagosed him with autism.
I still didn't agree, and went to a Developmental pediatrician who agreed with the doctor, but who stated he was confident that he was on the mild to moderate side. From there I went for the psychological eval, and had the CARS done, which he tested a 36 on, which placed him on the mild/moderate range.
He has since started aba, speech, ot, and is in specialized preschool. Within 5 months I see tremendous gains, especially in eye contact, and appropriate language every now and then. He was always verbal, but couldn't (still can't)
answer questions, nod or shake his head, or use body language to communicate. He said "odd things" to convey his feelings, "purple/pink" for example when he was scared.
He doesn't play with any kids beside his brother and sister who are 8 years and 11 years older, but even then it's just chasing games.
At home he's extremely happy and active, and doesn't mind being alone. It's a different story outside though.
If you have any concerns, your best bet would be to follow your instincts. The folks on this board know me for me "indicisiveness" _LOL. I'm still in denial a lot of times, but I'm getting better!!
You know, my daughter (she's 3) also does a lot of what you described your son as doing. She is also at special preschool. ABA is not offered through the school and we certainly can't afford it. How I wish we could, but we can't. She has ST and OT everyday. I have also seen great strides since school began. She is also on the GFCF Diet.
Interesting thing is, you mentioned that your son says "purple/pink" when he is scared. My daughter does something similar and one day a light bulb just clicked that she was trying to communicate in her own little primitive way. She was always screaming out colors (especially associated with someone's name) and I could never understand what she was trying to convey. When I wouldn't get it, she would then throw herself down and have a tantrum as usual.
Then one day eating lunch, she kept insisting "jadie's black" which is my older daughter's name. Then she would say "ivy's blue". This went on for days. I would just nod my head and act like I undertand and say "yes, uh-huh".
When I ask her if she had a good day at school, she will reply to me, "ivy's red, stacia's yellow, emma's blue" EVERTIME I ask her. What does that mean??? Well, the other day, I went to school to drop off some of her special snacks and there in the play yard was a swing set with different colored swings red, yellow, blue, green. It occured to me that instead of saying to me, "I swang with my friends", she was stating which color swings she and her playmates swang in. Instead of calling object's by their name, she referred to them by what color they were. For example, she called her favorite brown sandal's, "ivy's brown ones."
Thus began my mission of decoding her "colors". Once I got home, I could quickly see that "jadie's black" was the color of her chair at the kitchen table. "Ivy's blue" was the color of her booster seat! There were many other color schemes I found out as well, too many to mention here. But, I could see where she had been trying to communicate to us for so long and we just didn't understand her color screaming!
Now whenever I hear her refer to something as a color, I try to confrim to her that yes, the shirt is yellow, but that it is called a yellow shirt.
Last edited by Lisa in Indiana; 10-06-2004 at 06:52 AM.
" LOL.
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