jonahsmama

My son is 20mo and hasn't had a dx other than developmentally delayed by early intervention. We are waiting for appt.s with audiologist, speech pathologist and pediatric developmental specialist at the end of this month.

He is often "in his own world" but goes in and out of it. Responds to his name most of the time---eye contact but on his own terms. He is affectionate and cuddly. No words yet, just animated babble but not a great variety of sounds. Once in a great while he will strike some strange posture, like running full force with both arms stretched out straight behind him. He constantly wants something in his hands or to be feeling something. As I write he's snuggled on my lap playing with my hair.

Anyway right now my main struggle is his inability to communicate and the tantrums it produces. They are loud and seemingly never-ending. He doesn't get "violent" per se...kicks but isn't trying to kick US, only if we get in the way. =)

So, what can I do while these things are taking place? Point in case: this morning after his bath I got his diaper on. He suddenly started trying to climb my body (so I would carry him) and screaming his head off---pointing toward the kitchen. So when we got there he pointed down the stairs. Our downstairs is very cold so I said, "Clothes first, then downstairs," You would have thought I said, "Now I am going to torture you with hot pokers." He started screaming his head off, doing the I-want-to-get-down but once I am down pick-me-up-again routine. So I said, "I am sorry but we can't go down without clothes," and decided to wait until he settled down. This went on for 20 minutes. The ear-piercing screaming, following me around and trying to pull my clothes off or hug my legs so I couldn't move. He finally allowed me to get him dressed, then he freaked out because he wanted his pants on before his shirt and the whole thing began again. Once he was dressed I said, "Great! Now we can go downstairs!" But instead of coming down (which he is fully capable of doing), he flung his arms up for me to carry him down. I had his 6mo sister in my arms and don't feel safe carrying them both down the stairs at once. So it all began again.

What do I do? Is it really going to be like this every day all day every time something doesn't go his way forever?! It takes all of my might to remain patient through one of these things. I don't want to give in because it just reinforces the behavior but I have no idea what to do!

Thanks for any pointers,
Christine