Socialization - Autism Spectrum Message Board

Asperger family · 02-05-2005, 03:13 PM

Hi everyone...today I took my two boys to McDonalds to play, it was crowded and some kids were there from my oldest sons school. He can talk in full sentences even though he still doesnt seem to socialize well.(he is 7) He does the oddest things when he wants to socialize or when we go into different places...that he doesnt do at home or in our neighborhood when he visits the other kids. Everytime I take him shopping with me, he stops before he goes into the store, puts his hands up over his face(finger pointed up, shuts his eyes, squints his face and starts laughing. He does this I think because there are people new around and he might be intimidated...Im not sure. Then today, he was fine until more kids started to show up at McDonalds, exspeically the girls. The boys he would come to me first and say, whats his name mom..and I told him, go ask him what his name is..and he did, good. He was following some of the other boys around imitating them and their play. Then some girls showed up, who ride his bus to school. He became infatuated with one(I think he has been before because he told me her name was Kayla.He started to follow her, he would stop in front of her, do his imitation up above, the hand over his face, laughing and then start talking about something weird. He kept an eye on her the whole time, walking around her, giggling, then tried to reach out to her with his hand..She was with some friends so they all started laughing at him. They already know he has autism, but I went to them anyways and said, I think he wants to say hi, sometimes he has a hard time communicating, and she said she knows, bus driver let them know he has autism. I drive him to and from school everyday now because Im very protective of him. I dont know how to address this issue, surely he wants to socialize and had become infatuated with this girl, but he gets negative responses. I dont see this behavior from him unless he is in an unfamiliar area and there are girls around. How do I address this, I try redirection but should I pull his hands down from his face and tell him not to do that...I dont know what to do because he seems to go into his own world in these two instances where he is not in his compfort zone or he is around someone who is either intimidated by or infatuated with....atleast for alittle while, other times he is a normal fit in child, with the exception that he still talks to himself. Has anyone had to address this kind of issue and gotten more positive responses? Please help....I'll try anything, he has friends at school and socializes with "his" friends just fine, but he is doing some really odd things that are making him a target for negativity...

I Love LJC · 02-08-2005, 10:36 PM

Hi ASF the only thing i can tell you is give it time my girl has come out of alot of her odd behaviours shes 9 it takes time .We encourage her with proper direction.

rids · 02-09-2005, 09:29 AM

One- It was illegal for the driver to discuss his Dx with the kids- unless you gave written permission.

Two- For us, the decision concerning "interesting" & inappropriate behavior was to
extinguish it- by whatever means neccessary- as ours in going to have to live in a world that does not care what his Dx is....especially when he is an adult.

SHReed · 02-09-2005, 12:46 PM

You could try role-playing - maybe other members of your family could act out some typical situations and let your son see appropriate ways to initiate conversation, how to respond when other kids speak to him, etc. You've probably heard of Social Stories books by Carol Gray - those might be helpful with role-playing.

NineLives · 02-09-2005, 03:18 PM

The role playing is a good idea. He may have trouble generalizing it in situations like today if the role playing is only among family members. He may think this is the way you socialize with family but it's different with little boys or even more different with little girls. It would be nice if maybe a OT could practice the role playing with kids his age. I agree that you have to teach him appropriate ways to socialize and there does come a time where you get tired of trying to explain your childs odd behaviors and then too as your child ages you don't want to embarrass them by saying he does this because of autism. By the way my child is 18.