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Old 02-28-2005, 05:06 AM   #1
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jcd777 HB User
Bad Behavior with autistic tendencies?

My grandson is going to be 5 in April. Although he has some sighs of Autism, (some spinning, finger flipping in his face ,his main problem has been his speech, which is now really coming along well...in this past few months. His behavior is very bad. He is very much out of control when he is home..but when he is at day care..and at special schooling he is nothing like he is at home. Now, I do know that his mom is very passive, and feels that because she works that when she gets him home, she just can't be constantly punishing, or scolding him for the few hours she sees him...but..he is just totally out of control, and he knows exactly what he is doing ..I think that it might be for attention, but I feel that disapline is needed very badly...it seems really odd that he acts so bad with his parents, but not when they are not around. Now, to get back to his speech, he is doing much better in that area, but he does watch videos almost all the time.its the only time he is quiet...and he does repeat things in those videos , just out of the blue. He will reenact these like he has memorize them. He has been tested, all the ususal (from what I have read here) the the Psycol (sp) at childrens hospital says that he does show some tendencies..but he does not warrent autism..but, I see that he surly has many issues that have to be addressed. Again, this out of control hyperactive behavior is, to me, very scary. I could use some help or comments on this from you guy out there, I have been reading these boards for a long time now..I have been the one that has pushed them to seek some kind of help here..as the parents are (I think, are in denile) especially the mom...example..at a recient family function..they went out to dinner, and he just wandered around, did not sit and eat...according to my son..He was out of control..but when he said that, he was quickly repremended...but her family...saying that "HE IS JUST A NORMA; 4 YEAR OLD BOY...THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM"!!! now I was not there..but I know how he is and how is was when they got back home...just running, jumping,spinning.. uncontrolably... I also, don't feel he is getting the proper help at this school..they geer into the speech thing, and take him out of the class room (which is only 2 hrs a day) they take him from there twice a week for gym (physical..for 15 min. )..his teacher..(which I don't thing she is quallified...in say autism)..has asked to have him retested for Autism, as he will now just wander off..and sometime spin..but if he is interested i.e. a certain story he will sit and listen..he is not at all, uncontrolabe there..just uninterested now..I don't know, I have read and read...about this..I do know he has a something going with his diet..especially sugar..but the mom just won't take it away...she feels she is being a bad mom...I can tell you this...I am a confused and worried grandma...about my grandson..just don't know what I can do..I do tell them what I have read..and I must say that I have read hours on this subject.So, I can honestly say I think he is in that spectrum of Autism..but with a definate behavior issue...but I can't overstep by bound here..I believe that there are other issues than autism here...Help!!!

 
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Old 02-28-2005, 08:00 AM   #2
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mom2chris HB User
Re: Bad Behavior with autistic tendencies?

I'm no expert, but your grandson sounds a lot like how my son was when he was in kindergarten. The only difference is that my son doesn't have behavioral problems, he's well behaved and very sweet. The school psychologist observed him and suggested that he might have autism, my husband and I were both in denial. Although my son had delay in speech, his teacher told me that he was still one of the top students in her class. He also seemed to wander off in class, and was mumbling some monologues of his favorite cartoons in class. During the first few weeks, he wouldn't talk in class, he would only give short responses whenever his teacher referred to him, and he would speak in whispers. The first day I volunteered in class a few of his classmates were surprised that he can actually talk. They referred me to a doctor, but during our visit my son was having a good day, he responded well to the doctors, so they told me what I wanted to hear, that it wasn't autism, he just needed Speech and Language and that he may eventually grow out of the extreme shyness. But he didn't grow out of it, although his class participation had improved a little, he was reading above grade level in first grade, and does very well in Spelling, he even made honor roll in 3rd grade, and yet he still had trouble focusing in class, had trouble making friends, and had some odd mannerisms (such hand flapping and tapping on his toy or book). So I asked his new school to have him observed again, they retested him and the school Psychologist referred us to TEACCH. They finally diagnosed him as having mild or high functioning autism. If your grandson still exhibits odd behavior later on, I think it would be wise to have him retested, hopefully not as late as we did. Early intervention really helps, and my son has shown so much improvement after the diagnosis, they gave us and the school a lot of suggestions on how to help him use his strengths to overcome his weaknesses.

Last edited by mom2chris; 02-28-2005 at 11:47 AM.

 
Old 02-28-2005, 10:57 PM   #3
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BetsyAnn HB User
Re: Bad Behavior with autistic tendencies?

The spinning and finger flapping are big red flags. These are common autistic traits that you just don't see much in other children.

In my personal experience alot of the testing for autism involves detailed background information that is provided by the parents. If the parents are not willing to see any of the odd behaviors they will not be reported and this can skew the test results.

I do think it is very typical for all children to behave much better when their parents are not around. I enjoy most children much more when their mothers are not around. And fortunately my own children behave much better for others than they do for me.

You must be very frustrated. Unfortunately you can not make you son and daughter-in-law see anything that they are not willing to see. It is very hard to watch someone you love not get the help you feel they desperately need.

Last edited by BetsyAnn; 02-28-2005 at 10:57 PM.

 
Old 03-01-2005, 10:52 PM   #4
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pmorrow HB User
Re: Bad Behavior with autistic tendencies?

Whether it's autism or not it appears that there is a definate behavior problem and it sounds like some of it is attention seeking and some may be control issues. My son has both of these problems and they started around 4 years old. They kept getting worse so at 8 he started receiving intense behavioral therapy which worked wonders. The good thing is the training was for our son and for us, the parents. We were never in denial about his behavior but we realized, after receiving the training, that we needed to handle to situations differently. But... just a reminder to you and the parents... since there are so many issues to deal with, it's probably best to focus on the biggest issues first and let the little issues go. Basically, choose your battle wisely.

 
Old 03-05-2005, 11:06 PM   #5
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kellystar HB User
Re: Bad Behavior with autistic tendencies?

jcd777,

It sounds like he has some Sensory Issues as my son would do the same thing....he was good at school and then he let loose at home(its because they feel so comfortable at home).

I can see why your grandson does good at school since there is a routine that the class follow everday so he knows exactly what to expect each. BUT when he is at home there sounds like there is NO routine and routine is SO important to children that are on the autistic spectrum.

Please Check out http://www.sinetwork.org/ to learn what this is and how to treat it. Also find an OT as they can give you ideas.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

 
Old 03-07-2005, 09:48 AM   #6
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Honou HB User
Re: Bad Behavior with autistic tendencies?

My oldest son sounds like your grandson with a few differences like he distroyed everything he had at age 5 tried to burn my mothers house down at 6 and so on he has reading problems too and speech. He is diagnosed with ADHD and is on medication clonidine and adderall the clonidine after you get through the duh stage where the child is sleepy and dull his system adjust it has given back his life it allows him to think before he speaks and the adderall helps him consentrate. I know you have heard alot about this diagnoses but it could be something to look into. He has had special education since 2nd grade and is on task he is now in his teens and well puberty is ruff but look into more info. on ADHD and see if it sounds more like your grandson. Good Luck and God Bless you for your concern about the child maybe you can convince his parents that his life will be so much richer if he gets the assitance he needs now because if they don't he could end up in a very bad situation one day as a adult and I hate to say it but it would be from the lack of opportunities he could be getting right now.

 
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