Middle School or Homeschool? - Autism Spectrum Message Board

mom2chris · 05-05-2005, 09:30 AM

My son is going to 5th Grade this coming school year and although 5th grade is still part of elementary in other states, here it's in middle school. I'm very worried since my son has been diagnosed as HFA, and like most autistic kids, he's very reluctant to change. We've tried homeschooling before and he enjoyed that, but I wanted him to develop his social skills, so we put him back in school.

My son is very small for his age, he's 10 yet could pass for 7 or 8 years old. I wanted to homeschool him for this coming school year and just have him go to 5th grade in a regular school the succeeding year so that he can atleast have some time to grow and not be the smallest kid in his class. I was told that his being small and shy would be an advantage coz he'd be less susceptible to bullying. I always thought that his being tiny and odd would surely make him more of a target. They said that he'd get babied and protected by the girls. Chris is not going to like that. To him being touched by a girl is as bad as being bullied. There were some past classmates that had grown fond of him and would sometimes just like squeezing him, try to carry him or just plain touch him, and he gets terrified by these girls. He has some sensory issues of course.

At first I was told that he might be placed in a regular class and be given a teacher's aide whom he'll share with other students. Now they tell me that he'll be put in an inclusion classroom, therefore he won't be moving from one classroom or teacher to another like most of the student population. He won't get the teacher's aide, since they'll have a Special Ed teacher as well as a homeroom teacher in the class with them. We'll probably have to practice using lockers and dressing up faster for gym class during the summer.

I know he's going to be upset when I tell him that he's not going back to homeschooling. He was really looking forward to that. I probably won't tell him just yet, so he won't worry about it. It's going to be a big change. He'll be taking the bus for the first time, unlike the elementary school where we just walk to since it's so near.

I know that it sounds like I'm more afraid of the change. I'll admit that I am. I already have all these scenarios of what could go wrong and how he'd feel just in case. He's very sensitive and gets overwhelmed easily.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? Does anyone here have a child who's had an easy time in middle school despite having been labled autistic?

flintrock · 05-05-2005, 05:56 PM

I know how worried you must be. I understand. But just remember....how will you know his capabilities if you don't let him try. you might just be surprised at what you find out. You have to let him venture out there and at least see what his limits are. Believe me, if he's not happy, you will know it. And you'll know what to do when the time comes....Just pray about it and talk to him about all the advantages and let him know that if he's not happy, other arrangements will be made.

Hang in there!!

mom2chris · 05-05-2005, 10:07 PM

Thanks for the reply flintrock. I had to tell him about it after school. He kept asking about the IEP meeting, I couldn't lie to him, I was hoping he wouldn't bring it up. He wasn't as upset as I thought he'd be. I sort of sugar coated it and made it look like it would really be fun. That he'd have his own locker just like the ones on his cartoon and that he'll be wearing a nice uniform like his brother does. I didn't tell him that if he doesn't like it there, i'd let him do homeschooling. My husband told me that he shouldn't know that the option is still available. That way he doesn't keep asking to go back to homeschooling every time he has some difficulty (he did that quite a few times this school year, I just kept saying maybe next year). We'll give it a try, and I'll keep my fingers crossed.