My friend and I were talking - Autism Spectrum Message Board

siren1024 · 05-18-2005, 02:39 PM

I have a close friend who's son is 5 and was diagnosed with very mild PPD. His symptoms are few and not alarming (to me, anyway, but I'm no doc!) and include bad eye contact especially with strangers (he seems very shy) language delays, slight social problems (he's a "watcher'" and seems reluctant and embarrassed to play with other kids), when making a cut and glue picture, he lines the shapes up perfectly along the borders and groups them by shape. He also has some cooridnation issues as well as some slight learning delays. He has no stimming behavior, a great sense of humor,very creative and smart, and is a very sweet, loving kid. He is very sensitive and cries at the drop of a hat, and will do anything to please anyone.

Anyway, she began her investigation as a way to try to help him in school and she ends up with this diagnosis. In the course of our discussion, she was telling me how she was thinking about how "normal" he was (what's "normal" anyway, right???

) and wondering if they were wrong. Basically, she was wondering whatever happened to a child just being different and unique, and why everything has to be a "disorder" nowdays. I mean, is it really a disorder, or is he just differently gifted than other people? Disorder carries a connotation that something is wrong with him and he needs to be fixed, but what if that is the way God intended for him to be for a special purpose in life? Just because his brain works differently, is there something wrong with him? Everything has to carry a diagnosis. Would he have been thought to be just "shy" and "precise" several years ago?

I was just hoping to talk to some of you who have similar children so I could talk to her. She is understandably questioning all of this right now, and I want to be there for her. Have any of you ever felt this way? Thanks alot for your help!

NineLives · 05-18-2005, 04:18 PM

The problem is that the things you mentioned that this child displays can negatively affect his life as far as his ability to form friendships and understanding social cues. It can make it difficult for him to learn basic skills that we all need to be able to survive this world. It's not all bad. My son is 18 and is graduating with a diploma on the 29th of May. He is a wonderful young man but the autism will affect him his entire life. He has had to learn coping skills which have helped him to grow and to be able to hopefully provide for his needs. Having a name for it helps the child to get needed services. It doesn't make them any less valuable a person!!

siren1024 · 05-18-2005, 06:34 PM

Thank you. I think that she was most concerned about him being labeled. KWIM? Will the rest of the world expect less of him or give him less opportunity because of this? Especially in school? He is in a regular classroom, and doing pretty well with alot of the curriculum, particularly math. He's GREAT with remembering sight words. He can recognize huge words on flash cards, but he's struggling with phonetics and reading. I'm sure he too will graduate, but she's really worried about the possibility that this "label" will follow him through life and affect his opportunities later. Like for college and jobs and relationships in the future.

I do know that services will benefit him greatly. Thanks again.

BetsyAnn · 05-19-2005, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siren1024

Thank you. I think that she was most concerned about him being labeled. KWIM? Will the rest of the world expect less of him or give him less opportunity because of this? Especially in school? He is in a regular classroom, and doing pretty well with alot of the curriculum, particularly math. He's GREAT with remembering sight words. He can recognize huge words on flash cards, but he's struggling with phonetics and reading. I'm sure he too will graduate, but she's really worried about the possibility that this "label" will follow him through life and affect his opportunities later. Like for college and jobs and relationships in the future.

I do know that services will benefit him greatly. Thanks again.

I don't think that the "autism label" necessarily hurts our kids. I think it often helps. Most people are very understanding and accomodating when they understand a situation. When people don't understand what is going on with our kids they make some very negative assumptions. When they understand they view the child differently and are usually quite positive.

heartcreature · 05-19-2005, 09:29 PM

I believe that if the parents keep the expectations high so will those around the child. You teach people how to treat your child. If you keep high expectations and don't try to put a cap on your childs abilities I think they eventually follow your lead.