I need some advice - Autism Spectrum Message Board

samuelsmom · 05-30-2005, 07:10 PM

My son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS in April. He has really tough times with transitions. His ABA therapy will not start until the end of this month. Today we took him to a memorial day cookout, which was held inside due to the rain. He has only been to this house a few times. As soon as we walked in the door he started crying, I eventually took him outside and he immediately calmed down and starting to some running and eventually interacted with the other children who were playing ball. Then it started to pour and we had to go inside. He was better this time, but he still was not happy. He ran towards all the doors and tried to get out. (He is twenty-two months). He become fixated on open and closing doors. He cried on and off and eventually we took him home, where he is happy as a lark!! Does anyone have advice on how to handle this behavior. Should I have taken him immediately home? How can I calm him down? I know new environments over stimulate him, I don't know how to help him with changes, any advice? Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

bjm32 · 05-31-2005, 11:34 AM

My son was the exact same way at that age. He's 12 now and non-verbal. When he was that age and he would act the way your son did I would either take him to the car, tell him it's not time to go home yet, and let him calm down or "regroup". It's hard because you don't know exactly what it is that's bothering him. Sometimes before I would go to someone's house, I would ask if they had a room, a "quiet room", where I could take him if it got upset or was getting too overstimulated. He never had any favorite things that would calm him down, but maybe your son does? I used to feel like I had to take him everywhere we went as a family but I eventually learned that it really didn't benefit him AT all to take him to a stranger's house, when I knew he was just going to get upset. So, alot of times, I would arrange for him to stay with my mom, so my husband, daughter, and I could go (wherever) and actually be able to stay and have conversations with people instead of chasing my son around, trying to keep him calm, and then eventually leaving early and not being able to enjoy myself at all, and also having to deal with my daughter's feelings of that "not being fair" to her because she was good. I can tell you that it's easier now to take him places. He is severely autistic and non-verbal but he's certainly not quiet. He stims alot. He's able to let me know when his time is up and he needs to go. I hope this helps a bit. ~Bunny

drasdma · 06-11-2005, 03:21 PM

My son is 4 now. Last year I wanted to introduce him to the library. We would go he would begin crying and screaming. I stayed for 3 minutes explaining the situation to the ladies and they were very helpful. I continued to do this every week at the same time staying just a little bit longer each time and I showed him the video section. We got one, then we went back and got another one. Then the next week we got his favorite storybook. Then the next time we played on the computer for 15 minutes. Last week we went for an hour and a half. Now that 3 minutes was the longest 3 minutes of my life and I mean to tell you I was rolling in sweat when I left but I did not give up and I won't. Best Wishes! B

lovemybugs · 06-13-2005, 05:02 PM

My son (also PDD-NOS) was EXACTLY like this at around 22 months. I can remember several indoor parties that would result in him wandering, dragging me or my husband by the hand, trying to escape the large crowd and noise.

Today he is 3 1/2 years old, verbal, and for the most part, he enjoys social situations. I think we learned through trial and error when he was younger to take him to these social events in small doses, and gradually stay a little longer as he got older, and as he tolerated it.

In our case, our son was so overstimulated by the noise, smells, lack of space, etc, that he did not know how to cope other than escape. This is true for most young kids on the autism spectrum...sensory overload. Go slow and easy, and don't feel bad for not attending a party or event if you feel your son might be overwhelmed. In our situation, it got much easier over time, and when he gained language and understanding of such events.

Good luck!

Cantdoitagain · 06-13-2005, 06:36 PM

Hi Samuelsmom, My son is 27 months and goes to doors all time. At 22 months he had only been walking for 3 months. He went to the doors because he knew how they worked not necessarily because he wanted out. He too is non verbal and what works now is to redirect him when we are somewhere not at home. If my boy was in your boy's situation I would have played chase with him or tried to play tickles. Those are two games that he really likes that would have gotten him away from the doors and happy. As well I would have maybe brought a favourite toy or book. My boy doesn't really have anything favourite, but he does have toys that are more familiar. I would have given him my keys or brought some blocks. Or I would have suggested a snack or drink.

It is very difficult when they are so young and they don't seem to understand. It is very frustrating and I know what you are going through.

All the best to you.

Laura