sjdaud

Hello. I was always the one in school and adult life who had no social skills, just didn't know what was appropriate so didn't do anything. Been successful in certain areas but now I'm at risk for losing my job due to lack of people skills. Had the following symptoms: hand-flapping at excitement, thumb twirling when nervous. My family hounded me on that until I stopped doing it although there is pressure at times to do those behaviors. Stiff body, black/white thinking primarily because I can think of many alternatives and don't know which is correct. Do not pick up on body language, personal space issues, tone of voice, sarcasm eludes me completely. If there is verbal/body language or facial expression is incongruent, I'm at a total loss. Consequently, I've been told most of my life that I am always misperceiving and misinterpreting things. OTOH, I can sometimes get the real message and that is not the message the person wants responded do. For example, back-handed insults, back-handed compliments are frustrating to me because I do get that message but have difficulty shifting focus and responding to the message that they want responded to.

Been to shrinks since early adulthood (total of 35 years now). Just two weeks ago a shrink asked me if anyone had ever mentioned high functioning Autism or Asperger. I had thought that myself when I read up on it in school but one should not self-diagnose either.

Can anyone guide me to quick-start intensive social skills, etc so that when I go back to work it looks like I have done something to improve? The areas I need it most are not something I can get online but I can at least work on hearing the message and learning better conversational/give and take, damage control when I've committed a faux pas. I love the work I'm in but I do need some social skills asap.

Thanks for any replies.