Re: could it be autism?
I have a 3 1/2 year old autistic daughter, and there are some similarities with your son and my daughter. Kaelyn was and still is sensitive to some noises, sounds, and feel. That is refer to as Sensory Intergration disorder (occupational therapy would help with that). She is also very repetitive, and she has to follow a routine. Her eye contact has gotten much better, but sometimes when over simulated she can't handle it. She is also aggressive at times, and that is because she really can't express herself. At one point she was not verbal at all, then she went through a period of echolalia where she only repeated what she heard, and only knew how to talk in phrases,("momma I need tissue" was one word to her)she was not yet able to break up words and understand each word. Now she is talking in four word sentences, and she has learned how to put single word into a functioning sentence. Also whatever my daughter focuses on she can master it at an alarming rate, (colors, numbers, shape, the way the computer works, ect.) Ever since she started her early childhood program she has become VERY social. The only way to really know if your son is autistic is having him tested for autism. I see that you already have him in speech therapy, so you can ask your therapist, doctor, school, and or insurance company where to go. Autism has such a wide spectrum, from very mild autism (Asperger's Syndrome) to severe non-functioning autism. My daughter is on the mild to moderate end, and she is functioning. She has been getting speech, developmental, and occupational therapy since she was 18 months. Now that she is 3 1/2 she also goes to our area early childhood intervention preschool (you might want to check into that). She will also be starting a ABA program (Applied Behavior Analysis ), a very intense form of individual therapy. (you might want to check into that also) EC preschool would be good for your son in any case because these teacher are there for him and they are working with him based on his needs in a group setting with other peers who needs intervention as well a typical functioning peers and he would also get individual therapy. The fact that his current school doesn't understand his needs or give him individual time, whichmay be why he is aggressive. My daughter did have some of the same behaviors as your son, some we have successfully managed and some we are still dealing with, but the quicker you find out and get a true diagnosis, the better you and your family can begin to understand and really help your son. Again if he is indeed autistic it's great that you caught it when he is still young. In the mean time here are some helpful materials that will answer some of your questions, and also give you some great information.
1.The book Let Me hear Your Voice —by Martha Welch,
2. The video Autism the Road Back —by Inc. Magic Lantern Group
(both should be at your local library)
-Also don't be afraid if he is diagnosed with autism, because there is so much more help available once it's made, plus you'll know what your dealing with, and how to work with it. I remember never wanting to hear that word, but when we were finally told that our daughter had autism, so much more became available to us through our insurance, and our state's agencies.
I hope I have helped out a little.