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Old 01-08-2006, 09:32 PM   #1
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sonic HB User
Angry Interupting teen??

Hi all...
I have a best friend whose son is special needs..he has not been "labeled" as far as i know,but does have a "disability b/c he recieves a small pension each month. I guess you could say his mother has been in a constant state of denile..NOT seeking help even when offered for free. this has been a sore spot with me,,but hey,,, who am I to tell her HOW to raise her kid?

anywho,,he is 14 & when i see my friend (maybe once a wk) we like to catch up on whats been happening...I have yet to finish a sentance before her son starts TALKING asking nonsensecal(sp) questions..& interupting~~~
I guess he maybe wants attention?..or doesnt like for his mum to have a LIFE.
This has caused me to stay away from visiting her & i dont know what to tell her? (without hurting her feelings)
This even happened when we all to to the theatre & see a movie,,I am running out of excuses. She never disaplines him.

He has no friends at school, most of the other people are older & in wheelchairs & cannot read/write..etc..He has one 14 yr old girl that is a nieghbour , she visits him once a wk.
any advice would be great. TY

 
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Old 01-09-2006, 09:08 AM   #2
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Re: Interupting teen??

If this teen is autistic he's not interrupting the conversation on purpose. He just doesn't understand the social cues. You could describe him as being very self centered. When there is a conversation he may be assuming that he is part of that conversation and that you should be wanting to talk about what he wants to talk about. What seems nonsensecal to you is not to him. It makes total sense and you may be the nonsensecal one in his eyes. He may be thinking this: How could she possibly want to talk about anything other than what I think is fun to talk about? Think about it this way. Suppose you are very near sighted but there was not a way to test your vision and no way to correct it. Others who didn't have the near sightedness would see things differently than you but they could never explain it in a way that would allow you to see it the way they do. That's the way social situations are to an autistic person.
Could the mother be more helpful to her son it's possible, but I can tell you that being the mother of an autistic 19 year old it's very overwhelming at times and you just plain get tired. The norm for a family dealing with autism is much different than other families. It's often easier for the entire family to change than it is to try to change the autistic person.

Last edited by heartcreature; 01-09-2006 at 09:25 AM. Reason: spelling

 
Old 01-09-2006, 09:56 AM   #3
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Re: Interupting teen??

I understand what you are saying,,i cant even imagine how hard it is to raise an autistic child.
Its just sad that our friendship has to suffer b/c of it. Maybe i sound like a "bad" friend,,but actually i have gone OUT OF MY WAY to try to get help for this girl & her son & she has refused.
I think its time to end it.

 
Old 01-09-2006, 11:29 AM   #4
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Re: Interupting teen??

While it may annoy you that he does things that seem like nonsense to you it's a huge part of your friend's life. Be a true friend and be there for her. It's challenging to deal with typical children, but even more so when the child has special needs. Believe me when I say she needs the adult interaction you provide. She needs your friendship.

Don't try to help her change her life, she'll do that if and when she's ready to, just be there to listen and offer help if she asks for it.

Last edited by jeffreys mom; 01-09-2006 at 11:36 AM.

 
Old 01-09-2006, 06:09 PM   #5
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Re: Interupting teen??

Maybe you are right..

I havent talked to her since new yrs eve,,Ive been really sick & dont want her or her son to catch what i have~
Ive known her for 30 yrs...& well, there are some things she does that i dont do (like smoke & drink),,,another reason I stay away.
I dont approve of her smoking in front of her son,,but thats not my problem. I dont want to become preachy with her, I "use" to do it (when i was younger) but we all grow out of it,,dont we? Her life is so full of drama...& i am just the opposite.
I just feel bad for her boy & wonder what is his future gonna be like?

 
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