Communication biggest issue - Autism Spectrum Message Board

Kolby · 01-27-2006, 01:26 PM

My 4 year olds biggest issues is communication. He can speak and will ask for things and such. But he can't tell me how his day went or who his best friend is. I wish he and I could share a conversation.

Is there hope? Is there any parents out there that had a poor communicator turn into a good one? I can't imagine him being 14 years old and still not able to tell me how his day went.

I love him so much and want him to get married someday and have kids and go to college. Am I dreaming? Is the true reality of Autism bleak? I have always been a positive thinker. But am I just fooling myself really?

jeffreys mom · 01-27-2006, 02:11 PM

Michelle; Don't lose hope. He may never be a great communicater, but are there many guys that are???? I swear my brother in law has Asberger syndrome that's gone undiagnosed and he is married with a family.

Don't lose hope he is still young and being worked with. I would however be in touch with the school and let them know this is a major area that needs work. He needs as much work on this between now and six for the best prognosis. It's not only up to them to educate him in academics, but the communication thing needs to be a part of his every day education. They should be working individually in an ABA type setting teaching him to respond to questions with appropriate answers and eventually he learns the reciprocity. Talk soon

bercol1 · 01-28-2006, 12:42 PM

Hi
My fears are exactly the same as yours. my son is now six and is only begining to speak.
I have worked so hard with Anthony and sometimes feel that we are not getting anywhere and then when I am least expecting it he comes out with a few new words. I personally thought Anthony would never talk as his first words never came until he was 4yrs and then from there it has been just a little at a time.
I met with his music therapist yesterday and it was lovely, she said she has been working with autistic children since 1969 and said she has never met a more self confident, less anxious and happy autistic child and that what ever I am doing with him I was to keep going. she also told me not to worry about the speech but from her point of view anthony will be a verbal teenager and that if he keeps going in this direction his prognosis is good. She told me that there is more to communication than speech and if you build solid foundations with reciprical play, turn taking pre-linguistic skills etc then when he does speek he won't just learn words he will be a useful communicator./ this is exactly what his play therapist have told me since he was 3yrs.
So I guess we just have to hang on in there and do all we can and remember our children are still young and have a long journey ahead.

geezermom · 01-29-2006, 10:08 PM

The lack of conversation is probably the saddest part for me, right now too. My 5 year old is like yours - can exclaim "Mommy! Harry Potter fell off his broom! Oh no, is he gonna fall down?" but if I ask him "where's Jack (little brother)?" or "where did Daddy take you?" he won't answer.

Here's a tip. We got Cole to answer the following questions: what is your name, how old are you, what's your phone number by singing the questions. This is called "melodic intonation" and its used with stroke patients a bunch when they lose the ability to converse.

To the tune of Frere Jacques/Are You Sleeping Brother John, we did, "what is your name, what is your name...my name's Cole, my name's Cole...wha-a-at is your name, wha-a-at is your name...my name's Cole, my name's Cole." We did this for 45 minutes, off and on. That night, I did it during bath time. The next day (and forever forward), he would answer you when you asked him the quesion - no singing involved. I swear to God, it took less than 24 hours for this to work.

We did "how old are you...I'm 4 years old" to the tune of Happy Birthday. We did what's your phone number...845-_ _ _ _" again to the tune of Frere Jacques. I realize this isn't conversation at its juiciest, but when some old lady at the grocery store asks him this stuff, he can answer without you having to comment/explain that he's "shy".

I'm just now trying to get ABA and am running into walls finding it locally. I have heard that its very helpful, even with kids that are higher functioning. Hey, and when your kid won't converse with you? Don't worry - we all here will!! Take care..
LeAnne (the geeze)

bercol1 · 01-30-2006, 04:45 AM

That is so strange, we use the siging game too with Anthony. I never knew it had a name. (Meoldic intonation that sounds very posh) We started using it to tell him that the school bus was coming. We used to march up and down the room chanting "going to school on the bus" after a few days Anthony joined in, then a few days later we just said school bus and he knew exactly what we meant and could say it back we have used it with the bath and bed etc. I never thought of using it to teach him to answer questions, I will have to try it out.
I am just sitting here laughing to myself, I will drop "Melodic intonation" in on the next school visit. Can you imagine the look on the queens buddy's face when i suggest the teachers now sing and chant with Anthony!!!!!!