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Old 02-14-2006, 07:33 PM   #1
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i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

I went to a team meeting today for my son. and i found out there that my son has pervasive developmental disorder. during the meeting everyone was pushing to do this and that. i finally told them that i wouldn't make any desisions today... that i had to have time to digest the information. but then the phone calls start and they want to put him into a tottally different preschool... when he is doing very good at the place hes at... but i'm so confused as to what is best for him. i don't want my son to be in the daycare hes at if its uncomfortable or confusing for him! but my son has to have structure i would have to change his whole routine for the new school.. i hardly know anything about this disorder. and everything i read about it i have to have a dictionary for it. theres so many questions i have and i don't even know where to begin! i tried to talk to my family about it but they don't know what to say. so i figured maybe i could get some help here. i know its only been a day but i want all the information and i don't want to wait or i think i might go crazy... is this a severe disorder? theres so many desisions to make!!! my son is the most loving little boy and he has a wonderful personalaty and my heart is breaking for him!!! Please HELP!!!!!

 
Old 02-14-2006, 09:55 PM   #2
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

First things first. Breathe darlin! Take a nice slow deep breath. Exhale. Okay now let's chat.

Please do not make any decisions right away. If your son is happy and functioning fine, leave him be and tell the teachers to do the same!!

Next, take a look at some websites, find some books in the library and SLOWLY start to read and discover what you need to learn. It can be very overwhelming at first but PDD is NOT the end of the world. Your son is still the same sweet boy you loved yesterday before you got this dx.

Who dx your son? Was it just people at the school? Was there a developmental pediatrician involved?

PDD is generally not severe. You should be able to tell how severe your son is by just looking at him. Is he out of control? Is he having a hard time coping with home, school, life, going out in public? Remember, your son is your son. He is not PDD. That is not who he is inside, it's just how he deals with life.

Take time to grieve the loss of a 'perfect' son. No one is perfect but when you label something, it can be hard to accept. Believe me, I've been there.

Ask anything you need to ask. There are a lot of us here that have been through it.

Jeannie
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Old 02-15-2006, 06:01 AM   #3
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

My son was diagnosed by a psychologist who mainly does evaluations for anxiety disorder and autism. He has been going to OT for about a month now and he is delayed in speach.. he will be starting that in a week, for four hours a week. He has sensory problems with food and he hates to be messy. and he loves to jump he jumps all the time. he is not hard to handle he will usually listen to me when i have my "seriouse" voice. its hard to disapline him because i don't think he understands he will say the oppropriate word "sorry" but i can tell by his face he doesn't understand so i usually end up hugging him and then letting it go. He is extremly smart with puzzles, and he is very loving. he loves hugs and kisses! His psychologist thinks hes having a hard time with understanding language and social cues. she thinks he is imitating expressions and echoing phrases hes heard before. that hes not adding any of his own words.
so now its my job to be supermom. although i don't know how i'm going to add more time to the day... i think i might have to take that one up with god maybe adding 3 hours to the day (hopeful thinking)
my hard desision right now is wether he would thrive more in a different atmosphere. i'm not sure if he would do good in a developmental group or
1 on 1 with a developmental thyripist. how do you make these big desisions??
honestly i don't know what would be better and i hate to play chance!
thank you so much for helping pinkpiglet i was panacking there for a little bit, you don't know how much your words helped me!! i will probably have tons of more quetions when i can clear my mind a little more!!
~Charity~

 
Old 02-15-2006, 06:45 AM   #4
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

Your son has just been recently dxed. Don't make any rash decissions at the moment because you won't be thinking straight and don't let any one make any decissions for you either at this time.
Take a few days out and do a bit of research. then go and look at schools and options that are available. I always take my son with me on visits as you can then get a feel if he will fit in.
He may be able to stay in his placement with added support or you may find another school that will better fit his needs.
But take time out to digest it all first. Local support groups can be helpful as you can get advice from other parents on whats on offer in your area.
Keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.
I feel for you as I know how frightened i was at this stage.
Good Luck
Bernadette

 
Old 02-15-2006, 06:52 AM   #5
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

Wow! I can't believe all the professional support you are getting. When my son was diagnosed they handed me a bunch of information packets, told me that I would have to do my own research and sent me on my way. I am sure having people want you to make a decision right now is very overwhelming. I would get as much information as you can on different programs and try to make a decision after the weekend.

Does the special preschool they want to put your son in offer ABA? You said your son need structure and ABA is all about structure. I disagree with Pink Piglet I do think PDD is severe and a life long disorder. However, with your son being three and able to talk and follow your directions I think with the proper early intervention your son's outcome will be excellant. My son who was diagnosed with mild PDD started speech therapy and ABA therapy before he was three. He is currently in a regular Kindergarten class with no assistance and is indistinguishable from his peers.

I completely understand how hard it is to make decisions. The only thing that helped me was reading the book by Catherine Maurice called "Let me hear your Voice". As soon as I was half way through the book I knew that the only chance my son had at having a normal life was to do ABA and speech therapy.

 
Old 02-15-2006, 07:53 AM   #6
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

I knew a lot of people would come help you out! Kathleen disagrees with me about PDD being severe and that's okay. To me severe are the kids with low functioning autism, or such severe mental & phsyical disabilities that they are in wheelchairs and cannot talk, etc. I did not say anything about it not being a life-long disability. I just thank my Lord that we are not dealing with anything like that.

I, too, was given a couple pieces of paper and sent on my way. I had a lot of work ahead of me. Definately take advantage of the knowledge of those around you.

Personally, I homeschool my kids. I have 3. Smeagol is 12 and has Aspergers, Princess is 9 and is on the gifted end, Sunshine is 8 and has severe dyslexia and learning disabilities. They were in school until my oldest was heading into middle school. I knew he wouldn't be able to handle all the different classes, teachers, expectations, etc so we pulled them out. That was the yr we got our dx. We'll never go back to the school system if we can help it.

You were asking how you make the decisions. You can research, write down the pros and cons, talk to the experts and go from there! lol No, it's never easy because we can't see the future. Some days I wish we could.

Jeannie
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Old 02-15-2006, 10:38 AM   #7
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkPiglet
I knew a lot of people would come help you out! Kathleen disagrees with me about PDD being severe and that's okay. To me severe are the kids with low functioning autism, or such severe mental & phsyical disabilities that they are in wheelchairs and cannot talk, etc. I did not say anything about it not being a life-long disability. I just thank my Lord that we are not dealing with anything like that.

I, too, was given a couple pieces of paper and sent on my way. I had a lot of work ahead of me. Definately take advantage of the knowledge of those around you.

Personally, I homeschool my kids. I have 3. Smeagol is 12 and has Aspergers, Princess is 9 and is on the gifted end, Sunshine is 8 and has severe dyslexia and learning disabilities. They were in school until my oldest was heading into middle school. I knew he wouldn't be able to handle all the different classes, teachers, expectations, etc so we pulled them out. That was the yr we got our dx. We'll never go back to the school system if we can help it.

You were asking how you make the decisions. You can research, write down the pros and cons, talk to the experts and go from there! lol No, it's never easy because we can't see the future. Some days I wish we could.

Jeannie
Hi Jeannie can you give me some info on home schooling my 10 yr old daughter what do i need to do to set it up for her.Im on the West Coast and want my ducks lined up if need be.Thankyou.And to this question ive found that the input of the parent is the most important point all around dont the schools have a question sheet for parents about their child ex from a scale of 1 to 5 does your child have trouble with this then the parent fills in the number then the teacher and others present at the IEP go thru it.I had this with my daughter and it showed her strenghts and areas of concern.

Last edited by I Love LJC; 02-15-2006 at 10:53 AM.

 
Old 02-15-2006, 01:33 PM   #8
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

There are a lot of websites around for homeschooling AS kids. There are all types of curriculum and ways to go. I would do a search for homeschooling in your state and see what the regulations are. Every state/province is different.

I find that I have my kids when they are awake/not stressed or tired and it's much easier then fighting with homework after school!

Jeannie
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Old 02-15-2006, 03:26 PM   #9
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

The school that they want me to check out does have ABA and they do have one opening... i think i will take the advice from all of you and take the weekend to think everything threw and then check out all the possibilitys on monday. how will pddnos effect the rest of his life? will this allways be with him? its hard to do the research because there is such a wide verity of things.... does anyone know of any helpful websites?? i am going to check out that book "let me hear your voice" and thank you for telling me about it and again thankyou everyone for your help!!!

~Charity~

 
Old 02-15-2006, 04:27 PM   #10
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

I would take that opening without hesitation before someone else takes it. You can always decide down the road that ABA is not right for you child and try another approach. The results we saw with ABA were so quick. We also removed all dairy and soy from his diet. Since you have the option of ABA I am glad you are going to read the book "Let me Hear Your Voice". It is the true story of a mother who had two children that were diagnosed with autism. After ABA therapy both of her children "lost" their diagnosis of autism and were able to attend regular schools with no assistance and were indistinguishable from their peers.

As far as how will PDD affect the rest or his life. No one knows. I think my son has as good of a chance as anyone to have a normal life. ABA changed his life.

 
Old 02-15-2006, 06:51 PM   #11
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

yes i can go visit the place anytime i want. i think i might go next week and check out the program and the atmosphere.. i've always been very picky about headstarts and daycares. I've already got some info about the school and i like the fact that they will accomidate his needs in every possible way.. the thing i hate with his headstart hes in now is that i've had to tell them over and over again that i want a daily report on what he ate and how long he slept and most of the time they forget.. but with this place they would give me a full report everyday and accomidate his sensory towards foods.. he hates most foods (any meats and combination foods) he would never eat cassorols or shepherds pies. which at his school is served a lot.. so that is deffinatly a "major" pro to the ABA program! my son loves OT its fun for him. will ABA be fun for him also??
i know its going to be a structured environment but theres a limit to structure in my book.. my son loves to play and gets very frusturated when to many demands are put on him. in the expirence you have had does it balance out?? thank you again for listening to me babble LOL

Last edited by TrueEssence; 02-15-2006 at 07:02 PM.

 
Old 02-16-2006, 01:14 AM   #12
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

You sound as if you are already weighing up all the pros and cons.
Early intervention is the key for your child at this stage. I would take all the help I could get. You can get rid of therepies far more easily than obtaining them at a later date.
With all the best will in the world, if the school he attends just now, have no formal training in Autism, they will be limited in what they can offer your son. If you have a school and a place available that offers early intervention take it. Most parents are fighting tooth and nail to be in that postition.
You can always move him to a mainstream school at a later date if the interventions work well.
ABA works for some children and not others. I would say if the school offers this they must be fairly progresive, so will have alternative therapies if ABA doesn't work for your son. Most ABA programmes are flexible and tailored to fit your sons needs i would give it a go.
Yes PDD is a life long disability but I stoped looking into the future a long time ago. I concentrate on what i can do for my son today and how I can best meet his needs now. The future will take care of it's self.
Good luck
Bernadette

Last edited by bercol1; 02-16-2006 at 01:19 AM.

 
Old 02-16-2006, 04:58 AM   #13
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

Bercoli is RIGHT ON THE MONEY. I hear parents say all the time that they want to do ABA, but there is a year long wait to get in the school. ABA is not a cookie cutter program. They focus only on what your son needs help with. They do expect a lot and ABA does put a lot of demands on your child. However, when your child is in Kindergarten he will also have a lot of demands put on him.

ABA teaches children to learn and behave like a typical child so when it is time to go to school they will hopefully blend right in. My child loved ABA. If your son has good therapists they should make it fun. ABA is not all work. My son played with toys, balls and sang songs. Sometimes I felt guilty about making him work so hard. Then I realized my son is 3. He has no clue that all children don't do what he is doing. By the time my son was 4 and a half he no longer needed any help. That is when we switched learning activities to the structure of sports. My son currently goes to Kindergarten and for extra activities he is on the basketball team, swim team and takes an art class.

 
Old 02-16-2006, 01:59 PM   #14
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

Quote:
Originally Posted by shorey70
My son was diagnosed by a psychologist who mainly does evaluations for anxiety disorder and autism. He has been going to OT for about a month now and he is delayed in speach.. he will be starting that in a week, for four hours a week. He has sensory problems with food and he hates to be messy. and he loves to jump he jumps all the time. he is not hard to handle he will usually listen to me when i have my "seriouse" voice. its hard to disapline him because i don't think he understands he will say the oppropriate word "sorry" but i can tell by his face he doesn't understand so i usually end up hugging him and then letting it go. He is extremly smart with puzzles, and he is very loving. he loves hugs and kisses! His psychologist thinks hes having a hard time with understanding language and social cues. she thinks he is imitating expressions and echoing phrases hes heard before. that hes not adding any of his own words.
so now its my job to be supermom. although i don't know how i'm going to add more time to the day... i think i might have to take that one up with god maybe adding 3 hours to the day (hopeful thinking)
my hard desision right now is wether he would thrive more in a different atmosphere. i'm not sure if he would do good in a developmental group or
1 on 1 with a developmental thyripist. how do you make these big desisions??
honestly i don't know what would be better and i hate to play chance!
thank you so much for helping pinkpiglet i was panacking there for a little bit, you don't know how much your words helped me!! i will probably have tons of more quetions when i can clear my mind a little more!!
~Charity~

Welcome, my name is Michelle and I have a now 4 year old with Autism. My son was a puzzle wiz at two and knew all the letters of the alphabet. He knew there order and he knew all their sounds. He even knew to turn the letter Z when he wanted an N. He knew the difference between Z, N, W, M. We would try to trick him, but he knew. He could tell the slightest difference in a shap and was very good at those kinds of puzzles. He could type in a password to a computer at 2. We thought he was brilliant (we still do!). He was very sensative. We had to cut all his tags out of his close and he cried all the time about something. He was very misunderstood and had trouble understanding.
We still have bad days, but overall things are much better. Take all the help you can get. The earlier the better. And play a lot with him. That will help his sensory part. Good luck.
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Old 02-17-2006, 10:58 PM   #15
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Re: i just found out today my 3 year old son has pervasive developmental disorder HELP!

my son is 14 n two days he also had PDD but let me tell you sometimes the dr.'s are wrong!! Jake was very delayed in speech in fact he didnt really begin to speak until about 5. i sent him to kindergarten regular school at 5 at the schools suggestion so he could get socializing. he got nothing from that year so we held him back. had him tested and he of course passed the tests for special ed classes. at around 5 his dr told me he thought jake had aspergers autism dont freak out he said lol and anyhow i waited until he was 8 then had him tested at a clinic for autism at first they said yes aspergers but upon further testing it was PDD i was given the paperwork about it did some research on my own etc. i was also told that the schols needed to teach him to cope if he couldnt do math they needed to let him use a calculater if he couldnt write he needed a typewriter. well i ignored all that he had great special ed teachers in school we met up every year to discuss what we expected from jake. sometimes i would tell them theres no way he can do that.... i was too easy on him. Jake was used to people telling him he couldnt when we should have been telling him he can. adapt and overcome lol well i know im dragging this out and cant even possible get it all in but as jake got older and matured more he started catching up . it took a complete outsider who did not know the old jake to tell me let him try let him speak for himself etc. well anyhow jake is now taking ta kwan do.. blackbelt club we did that to build his self esteem which can be low with pdd i also started pushing his teachers to be a bit harder on him push him a bit more for he is smarter then we are giving him credit for. well each year we pushed a bit more. he too is extremely sensitive but has come out of that as he has matured. but this year there was a mess up in his scheduling and they put him in 2 regular classes no special ed well it was a few weeks before it was caught and when they went to change them we looked at his grades and he was hangng in there and he didnt want to change classes and today he is making c's and b's. in those two classes. he is very good at math, he does take 3 reading classes he just cant get that part he cannot tell you the alphabet but he can read on a 3 or 4rth grade level. hes a game whiz. and i was told not to expect much of his future that when he went thru puberty he would regress well the opposite has happened jake is still quirky (sometimes we find his game boy in the freezer and the ice cream in the cabinet lol)but if you dont know it you have know idea he is pdd to outsiders. he is not socialable and may never be but the ta kwan do is helping alot. so my advice is not to listen to what the papers or dr.'s tell you to a certain degree you will know your child better then anyone. jake was the best behaved child you ever saw still is really he has his days lol you have to keep up with alot but if you stay on top of it whats going on with him how is he doing in school, does he have freiends does he need friends etc you and he will be ok good luck with you and pdd isnt the end of your child!! email me if you every have any questions ill try and answer them for you the best i can.
oh and envirnment is another thing to watch for pdd kids cant seem to take stress jake could and still cannot be pressured his brain just doesnt funtion when i say hurry its like telling him to slow down lol and he cannot take a timed test at all

 
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