My understanding about Medicaid and autism is that your child could get approved for it if their is risk that your child may someday have to be institutionalized. Obviously, none of us want that for our children. My sister is mentally retarded and has been on Medicaid all of her life. She, unfortunately, did end up in a pediatric nursing facility. She lived with my family until she was 10, but her medical problems became too intense for my family to handle. My sister needed constant medical care. She could not eat by mouth (she had a G-tube), she needed to be catheterized every so many hours, she needed frequent enemas, and she obviously wore diapers. She could not walk or talk, and when my mother accidently one day gave her the wrong dose of medication, that was the deciding factor for our family. My sister is now 35 years old and is doing very well. She is still in the same pediatric nursing facility, and we visit her their frequently.
Autism, though, is a lot different then what my sister has gone through. When most people think of institutionalized, it is not a pretty picture. Right now, we feel very capable of taking care of our special needs children, but we never know what the future will hold for them. It would not hurt to try applying for Medicaid for your child, and if you do qualify, it would be a great resource for helping your child get the treatment that is needed.
It seems like you are in a tough spot, having two children with special needs. I have four kids, two of which have PDD-NOS. Sometimes it is very overwhelming. Hang in there, and know that when you need support, that this is the place to come. Everyone here is so wonderful and have provided me with tons of support. I hope that we all can be that support network for you as well. Good luck, and keep us posted.