Hi. My son Zak is also high functioning. He had a serious language delay and that led us to getting him diagnosed by 21 months. That was just over a year ago. He will be three in August. At the time of his diagnosis he had no language receptive or expressive. He is an arm flapper when excited and a hand flapper when anxious or upset. His eye contact varies. Today it wasn't very good. He has lots of other quirky stims like walking in circles with his eyes over to one side or laying on his stomach looking at the wheels of toy cars etc.
Anyway, we were so fortunate to get wonderful services here in N. California. He was given 40 hours a week of ABA, 2 hours of speech and 1 hour of OT. It keeps us busy, but the change is remarkable. His speech is now very much like the ones described in this thread. It's so hard to get a conversation. I have to lead it and know what happened or nothing comes. He has the vocabulary, he just can't put it together. All his pretend play has been taught during ABA, but it does happen spontaneouly now and then for a couple of minutes.
He also loves television and the computer. He is getting his alphabet and numbers very quickly (sometimes I think he will get math before his 8 year old NT brother!) He really wants to be social and will go up to everyone at the park and say "hi" with a big grin. Then he has no idea what to do. There have been moments of parallel play when created by a therapist.
Anyway, I think I am rambling. It's been such a hard year, but when I read this thread I felt like I was in a place where we belong. People argue with me about his diagnosis because he is so happy and appears outgoing. His therapists constantly tell me about how well he is doing and how you can barely tell him from the NT children. But his isn't NT. I taught preschool for 15 years and have a masters in early childhood education. I know NT. I feel like I'm caught between both worlds. I just want to know there are other kids like Zak.
Most of the time I am okay. He is getting great services and doing well, but when we are at the park or with other children I can see the differences. It's hard when people tell me his flapping is "cute." The look at me strange when I talk to him with the ABA sing song voice. Then I try to explain and alway get told "Oh, he doesn't look autistic at all."
Okay, now I know I am rambling. I'm sorry. I just felt like I finally found a group who would understand. I promise I won't go on like this again. Thanks for listening (or reading I should say).
Hi Katie,
Nothing about your post was rambling. It was very interesting to read. Your little guy sounds a lot like my son who just turned four. He was diagnosed almost two years ago and I am just now mostly able to ignore people. On my most exhausted days, we pack up and go home so I can feel sorry for us for a little while. It happens less and less than it did, but there are still those times.
As far as people questioning the diagnosis goes, we get that too. My son is joyful and a joy. I just don't always have the time or energy to educate folks. Maybe later. Then there are the times when my sweetie lets out a blood curdling scream in the store in protest of something and everybody stares with either disapproval or horror. I take a deep breath and turn my backpack around that says "Friends of Autism," so the label shows. Then I focus on my son and we get back to our business. So, now I'm rambling. Your comments were a comfort to me. Thanks for writing.
Most major milestones were mastered before or when they were to be expected. He was walking at 12 months on his heels. At 18-20 months, he began walking on his toes. He started spinning his arm at around 19 months, too. He could say and recognize every letter of the alphabet and every number through 20 at age 2. He was reading Dr. Suess books (that he had never seen before )aloud at age 3. He was writing all of his letters at age 4, and was writing poems and stories in kindergarten. Despite this, he could not hold a conversation until age 5. He has problems answering reading comprehension questions. He is socially awkward, but is very interested in having friends, and talking to others. He asks peers if they are ok if they appear to be hurt and is genuinely concerned about other's feelings. His area of high interest changes every 6 months ago. He has always been very loving. When he was younger, he used to come up to strangers and hug them, but he was very selective about who he thought needed a hug.
Your son sounds alot like mine, acting does sound like a very good idea, I think I might see if I can find some kind of short plays for us to work on around the house with his brother and see how he does. And yes, I think he does have OCD to some degree, even though he has never been diagnosed with it. How old is your son? I think I read it on another post somewhere, but I can't remember. Also, mine is 9 now and believe me you'll hear a lot that you never thought you'd hear. Luckily my son impresses me more and more as time goes by.
Kolby is 4 1/2. 10/21/04 he we were told he had sensory issues and they started therapy right away. March 15th 2005 he was ds with mild Autism.
He first had in home therapy and I loved that. I too could learn how to do things. Now he is in a special school to help him. He is doing so well they want him to go to a regular school with visits from the speech therapist. He has been out of school for two weeks now and is doing better. I don't know why. He seems to have less sensory issues but some are still there. And at times I think they are bigger than the Autism. But I jump from one thing to another with him. Good days I think he was mis ds, bad days I think he needs more therapy. My husband and I were thinking Kolby had some OCD too. Not really bad, but it's hard to tell at this point. If someone he loves leaves the house and doesn't give him three kiss' and a hug he cries for them.
He needs that good-bye. Sometimes he will want to do it twice other times just the once. He could care less if he ever washed his hands but he gets upset when he drops food. I feel dizzy most of the time.
It sounds like he gets a ton of therapy and that is great. I wonder why some states just offer a few hours and others 40 plus. Makes me want to move.
Anyway when I tell people he is Autistic they say the same thing. He doesn't look it. But when I tell them he is 4 1/2 they always think he is 3. Because he talks like that and acts like that sometimes. Then I'll have a non-austistic child come up to me that is 4 1/2 and have a conversation with me. Yes that is when I know my son needs work. I long for that conversation. He is so darn cute and I just adore him. I just can't wait until he can say "Mom, I had a great day today. I played with my friends at the park." But things are getting better. I mean look at the good side of things. My son can remember the password for the computer. He likes to creat short cuts. He knows how all the equipment in the house works. He can read some words and spell them when asked and remembers many things. He is great at sports (non-constructive ones) He has awsome eye hand cordination. Oh if he would just poop in the potty my home would be a little less stressful!
Thanks for kind words you guys. I new I was in the right place to be understood. Most days I have more of a positive attitude than yesterday evening. I'm not sure what triggered my pity party last night, perhaps it was because Zak had a rough day in therapy and screamed through most of it. I think in general what has me focusing on the negative, rather than the positive these days, is that at the end of August he will be re-evaluated and will probably loose a lot of his one on one services. He has done so well in ABA I hate to see it end, but our school district has a reputation of slashing ABA. I know several lower functioning children who have had their hours drasiticly cut.
Rebl, I like the idea of the "Friends of Austism" backpack. I may have to get something like that. With strangers it doesn't bother me so much. If he is having a rough time in public we do go home. Most of the time we have a therapist with us, so I think people can tell something is up.
I do feel privilaged to have this little boy. Despite the struggles, no one can make me instantly feel better like he can with his smile and a hug. It's great to have found a place where I can discuss Zak with parents of others like him.
Kolby is 4 1/2. 10/21/04 he we were told he had sensory issues and they started therapy right away. March 15th 2005 he was ds with mild Autism.
He first had in home therapy and I loved that. I too could learn how to do things. Now he is in a special school to help him. He is doing so well they want him to go to a regular school with visits from the speech therapist. He has been out of school for two weeks now and is doing better. I don't know why. He seems to have less sensory issues but some are still there. And at times I think they are bigger than the Autism. But I jump from one thing to another with him. Good days I think he was mis ds, bad days I think he needs more therapy. My husband and I were thinking Kolby had some OCD too. Not really bad, but it's hard to tell at this point. If someone he loves leaves the house and doesn't give him three kiss' and a hug he cries for them.
He needs that good-bye. Sometimes he will want to do it twice other times just the once. He could care less if he ever washed his hands but he gets upset when he drops food. I feel dizzy most of the time.
Michelle
Be careful about moving him to a regular school and make sure he gets alot of time in the Learning Center(they called i where we used to live, spec ed still where we live now), my son had half a day LS and 1/2 with a regular class in Kind., and when he moved to 1st they said he was doing so well they wanted to try more time in regular class, I even asked at the time, if it doesn't seem to be working can we go back, oh yeah, they said. Well once they only had him in one hour a day LS, plus speach and OT once a week each. I couldn't get them to give him more time at all, and he needed it, he could read and write so I guess that was enough for them. Finally after a 1 1/2 year battle I got him one more hour for his math problems. It was awful, such a waste of his first and second grade, the regular class was just too many children for him, and the teacher! Thank goodness we moved, and now he's back to doing all his learning tasks in spec ed and other stuff with the regular class.
Be careful about moving him to a regular school and make sure he gets alot of time in the Learning Center(they called i where we used to live, spec ed still where we live now), my son had half a day LS and 1/2 with a regular class in Kind., and when he moved to 1st they said he was doing so well they wanted to try more time in regular class, I even asked at the time, if it doesn't seem to be working can we go back, oh yeah, they said. Well once they only had him in one hour a day LS, plus speach and OT once a week each. I couldn't get them to give him more time at all, and he needed it, he could read and write so I guess that was enough for them. Finally after a 1 1/2 year battle I got him one more hour for his math problems. It was awful, such a waste of his first and second grade, the regular class was just too many children for him, and the teacher! Thank goodness we moved, and now he's back to doing all his learning tasks in spec ed and other stuff with the regular class.
Thank you so much for the advise. I'm going to send him to school next week with a letter for his teacher. I'm going to ask her if she really thinks Kolby is ready to learn in a regular school. And how she thinks he can do that when he can't even carry on a conversation with me. Or can't follow directions.
Then I focus on my son and we get back to our business. So, now I'm rambling. Your comments were a comfort to me. Thanks for writing.
I feel dizzy most of the time. 
