It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Autism Spectrum Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-14-2006, 05:12 AM   #1
Newbie
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 8
Lindisty21 HB User
Angry Austism and its problems are destroying my life!!!!!

I am a HFI adult who has a serious problem currently impacting all aspects of my life; from personal relationships to job options. In order for my brain to organize things it has see or comprehend everything that needs to be organized before it can begin the processs of organization. This is fine when you are organizing a photo album but not when you are speaking. When I start talking about something I have all the thoughts in my head but I do not sound like I know what I am talking or I convey a meaning entirely different than the one I mean to send because I cannot organize my thoughts until after they have been expressed. This paragraph sounds organized because I can go back and edit it until it sounds coherent. Another language problem I have is I will have a picture of something in my head and I will tell someone what that thing is; the only problem with this is sometimes I say the wrong word. All these impairment have prevented me from making many friends. My few close friends are forgiving when this happens but many other people are turned away. Also this has severely limited my job options. I like being around people (I love listening to people talk; I just don't like to talk because I am afraid of alienating them).I am afraid at work innocent comments might come across as hostile and offensive and I will lose my job and the ability to be hired anywhere else. I am also afraid I might make a customer or a co-worker angry because I did not give them clear instructions.

I need some advice on behavior that will cover these problems, what situations I should avoid, what jobs I should avoid, and what I can do for damage control when I make one of these verbal blunders or any other advice that you think might help me.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-14-2006, 07:24 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Santa Maria, CA, USA
Posts: 607
9CatMom HB User
Re: Austism and its problems are destroying my life!!!!!

Lindisty,

Don't lose heart. I know this sounds funny coming from me, given some of the posts I've been making lately. At your age, I felt much the same way you did. I thought things were seriously affecting the quality of my life, and that things wouldn't get much better. However, I have been working for four years at a job I love, and will be interviewing tomorrow for a higher paying position which utilizes many of the same skills that have helped me succeed in my current job.

The fact that you are well-organized can help you do a variety of jobs. My main strength is also in my organizational skills. Also, I have strong general knowledge skills.

I too have had moments where I said things I wish I hadn't. I have to remember to think first before opening my mouth, so something dumb doesn't come out of my mouth.

Good luck to you, Lindisty.

 
Old 08-14-2006, 09:24 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,778
elmhar HB Userelmhar HB User
Re: Austism and its problems are destroying my life!!!!!

Hi Lindisty,

Not sure whether this fits you. Try it on for size:

I've known a number of HFA/Aspie adults who always seem to talk in long paragraphs. Some of these folks speak in more organized paragraphs, but a lot of them do not. They ramble.

Now, if you get a chance to "overhear" NT conversation, content-loaded paragraphs in speech (CLPIS) are a rare occurrence. Conversation is more like tennis -- batting short sound bites back & forth.

IME, some HFA believe they have trouble w/conversation/speaking because their attempts at CLPIS are not always well-received. This is a sort of skewed perception. The expectation of neurotypicals is that CLPIS are very rare -- and usually only when invited, like when someone says, "could you explain ...." or, "Please tell me all you know about ..." -- and how often does this occur in NT everyday conversation? Well, maybe twice a week!

So my point is, many HFA need practice more in the skills of "conversational tennis," than in the skills of CLPIS. Perhaps for job skills, instructing clients, one needs CLPIS as well.

But here's the good news: skills are skills, and can be learned. Especially by a motivated individual. There are speech/language pathologists who are specialists in areas like "pragmatics," who can help you practice & develop the skills you need, whether for conversational tennis or for CLPIS.

Best wishes.

 
Old 08-15-2006, 07:24 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Santa Maria, CA, USA
Posts: 607
9CatMom HB User
Re: Austism and its problems are destroying my life!!!!!

Elmhar,

I like that analogy, "conversational tennis." Not a game I'm very adept in, but maybe I could practice. I am terrible at small talk, a situation that isn't likely to improve.

Speaking of tennis, I have become very interested in Roger Federer lately. Now I have two favorite athletes named Roger. Do I sound really AS now? I have seen quite a few similarities between Bannister and Federer. Both are quiet, understated, kind, and very articulate when they do speak. Both are even the same height-6' 1".

Okay, enough of this. I'm starting to ramble.

 
Old 08-21-2006, 11:05 PM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 48
smw73 HB User
Re: Austism and its problems are destroying my life!!!!!

I Autistic and grew up with speech problems - I had an early stutter (when I'm nervous, I still sometimes stutter). When I was a teenager, I was quite bright and had a good vocabularly. I was even studying other languages. In fact, you could probably say that I was almost 'obsessed' with words and language. The problem seemed to be putting words together to make a sentence or a phrase which expressed or communicated something constructive and meaningful. Sounds obvious, right? But words seemed much more abstract for me, until a later age - I felt very much in my own world, and the wish to connect or communicate didn't seem to occur to me much. I think I've improved a fair bit now - I'm not the most socially confident person, but I can get by. (The worst thing is that I know I can sometimes be a bit tactless, without meaning to.) Like any skill, it takes persistence and practice to improve. I can certainly understand how frustrated you feel, right now. But don't be too hard on or too impatient with yourself.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 05:33 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Santa Maria, CA, USA
Posts: 607
9CatMom HB User
Re: Austism and its problems are destroying my life!!!!!

SMW,

I too, did well in languages. I started school speaking only German, but learned English quickly. I also took Spanish in high school, getting straight As. Conversation in social situations was difficult for me, but this is improving.

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:13 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!