Gimme a Break!! - Autism Spectrum Message Board

Willstrideryder · 08-21-2006, 07:50 PM

How often do any of you parents out there get a break--just to relax or "gear up" for another week of parenting autistic children? I can go for only about 6 weeks, then I totally need a break--before I break!! What types of things do you do to relax? Any ideas--I'd love to hear!

sross24 · 08-21-2006, 09:18 PM

I feel like I never get a break. I have not really been able to find many people able to babysit my children. My children are hard work, and there are so many of them. But I definately think that we all deserve a break. We work hard and could all use a night out now and then. Hope you get some much needed rest and relaxation soon.

-Steph

PinkPiglet · 08-21-2006, 09:51 PM

I'm not sure what resources you would have where you are but up here in Alberta we get respite paid for by the gov't.

I have a friend that takes all my kids for 4 hours a week and I get to pay her $18/hour. I take those 4 hours and do NOTHING. I got it set up just 10 months ago and I don't know how I managed to get through the last 18 years without it.

elmhar · 08-22-2006, 11:19 AM

IME it's been very important to get a short break away from my kids each day, even if only for 40 min., to destress & get exercise. I've been able to work this out w/my DH over the years, perhaps I am spoiled.

Looking into local respite care is a good option.

Relatives, if they are loving, willing, and capable -- but don't wear them out. We like to save them for emergencies.

Church or autism support group members, again, if LWC.

Check local colleges & universities for students in speech path, psychology, special ed. who are looking for experience with special needs kids. I would use these for regular short-term (like 2 hrs./week) once their references had been thoroughly checked, and after observing their interactions with my kids; I also would "pop in" occasionally to check on things.

Use your time when your children are in school to regroup yourself.

If your kids are too much all at once for most other families, could you co-ordinate a once-a-month evening getaway, farming the kids out in pairs to LWC relatives or trusted others? Perhaps one or two of your kids have friends they could do a sleepover with on that night?

Reciprocating w/other parents of special needs kids can work out well, but you have to check out the situation, parenting style, risk factors at the home, etc.

Best wishes.

marksmom8 · 08-22-2006, 12:11 PM

I guess I'm kinda lucky. My ex & I share joint custody of our son, Mark. He looks after him when I work (I work nights in a hotel) and during the day, Mark goes to a developmental preschool. The times we do have our son, it's hard work, but we try to make the best of it. I live on my own, but my ex moved back in with his parents, so he has more help with Mark than I do. There are days when I resent him for his extra help while I'm struggling with Mark when he's having an "off" day. My parents live an hour away, so I can't use them as support.
I've had to distance my relationship with them because they use the excuse that they don't see Mark enough to participate in any programs he's in. They try to read about autism, but that's not enough when it comes to their grandson. It's like they don't want to learn about his treatments and when we do visits, he stims, they get annoyed with him & me, saying I don't disclpline him enough to make him stop. It gets very trying. But I regress.
I make every moment with my son golden. Yes, he has autism, but he much more than an adjective.