tired of rude people staring - Autism Spectrum Message Board

cjjimenez · 09-05-2006, 08:26 AM

Hi, everyone. Im so tired of rude people staring. My son is 24 so we have had a lot of time to deal with this issue. You know it is ok to look when you see someone that behaves different, but it is tatally wrong to never stop staring. I have addressed this issue many times somtimes I will ask the person what they are staring at. i would rather if someone is so interested in my child to ask me questions. I will explain. Im just rambling on now. My son who also has colon cancer went to an outside concert over the weekend. We had a great time, he loves music but does not like the confinment of a inside concert. Outside concerts are perfect for him. We were standing on the sidewalk about 10 feet away from this lady . she must have missed almost the whole shoe staring at us. Im glad my son was enjoying the show that he never noticed her. Everytime I looked over at her she was looking at him. She never even tried not to look like she wasnt staring. He was singing along with everyonelse. I didnt say anything to her thinking that it might upset him. Didnt want to ruin his night. After the show I was so tempted to go over to her and tell her that she must have missed the whole show while she was staring at my child. I was thinking maybe she could see if they would refund her and then she could pay my son foer watching him instead of watching the concert. I thought it would be rude of me so I didnt. This woman was maybe in her mid 50s. You thinks she would relize how rude she was being. He loved the concert anyway::

Liamsmom · 09-05-2006, 08:35 AM

I'm sorry that happened and just because you age doesn't alwyas make you smarter, have manners or any of the above. Today was my son's first day of school pre-k he's 4 and he held his pee in because he was nervous and when we got outside he had to go and we were too far away rom the school to turn back so I let him pee outside and some elderly woman said some thing and I was thinking what I'm suppose to let him pee his pants maybe I should've let him pee on her that would've shut her right up.

I know it's hard to not let rude insensitive people bother us but what can you do ? I myself am completely guilty of throwing caution to the wind and saying something so rude to them that their jaws drop and I just don't seem to care, but that works for me. It's very liberating sometimes.

jakey · 09-06-2006, 08:34 AM

Hi there! I guess we all deal with the rudeness and insensitivity of others alot more than we would like. I deal with it most at the grocery store. As you all have said, it is mostly adults who do most of the staring. People who should know better. My son is 4 yrs. old and has autism. He likes to chant and recite phrases from his favorite t.v. shows and movies. He also likes to sing. His voice is very monotone and he is usually loud enough to draw attention our way. The stares use to bother me more than they do now. The do bother my older children though. They are 10 and 12 and are getting a big lesson in how narrow minded people can be toward people with special needs. I think the rudest thing anyone has ever said to us is when an older lady came up and said hi to my son at the store. Of course he didn't look at her and kept right on humming as if she weren't there. She then looked at me and said "he's not very friendly is he." I was so mad! I told her he had autism and that he had a hard time responding appropriately. I also told her not to be so quick to judge someone. Instead of apologizing she acted as if she was offended. Days like those really test your character. I guess we just deal with it the best way we can.

Liamsmom · 09-06-2006, 04:33 PM

My son likes to sing on the public bus but he sings the theme song to Winnie the pooh like an opera singer and LOUD when people start to stare I ask hin to sing the second verse and we laugh our heads off

cjjimenez · 09-06-2006, 09:43 PM

Hi, I love the singing on the train. It sounds as if you guys have a blast . I can relate to the singing. My son loves musicand if you ask he will tell you [Im a singer,Im a dancer, Im a drummer.] He also will sing in the store to the overhead music. It seems as if he knows every song that plays. He will tell me its my song and he will sing and sing and sing. He also has the loud mono tone voice. I dont mide if people look then because he sings very loud, at that we just smile and keep shopping and singing.You know what bothers me is when I feel we are not doing anything that draws attention to ourselves. Last year we did almost get kicked out of one of the branson shows. He likes to sit on the back away from all the people. But you know that is were security sit also. They didnt seem to mide my son singing along with the group because it was so loud in there, the problem was when the comedian came on, everytime he would tell a joke my son would talk back to him as if he were only talking to my son. I guess he thought he was a heckler .