tinymom05

he is going down to see a specialist in Nov but wondering what you all think. He has a sister that has autism. He has always screamed since he was a baby and we never knew what was wrong we took him for tests on his stomach and we had him on reflux medicine and things didn't change. he started to get more mobile as time went on and the tantrums got more intense along with other things that turned into a battle like changing him he always screamed he was terrified of noises until he turned 1 and i thought it was sensory which ended up turning into him having sensory problems. he hated having his shoes on for the longest time and he didnt walk until 19 months, if i tried to help him sit he would arch and scream real bad when he was 6 months he wouldnt sit up until 9 mnths or so on his own. we took him to a dev pedi who said nothing was wrong but then again the same doc said my daughter was fine as well and she ended up being diagnosed. I followed my gut and had him evaluated by a therapist and they said he had low muscle tone and sensory issues and feeding issues we would work on. The feeding i thought was due to reflux but every test came back normal and we started finding my son was eating great for therapists over time after he had long screaming episodes for a month over 2 for 30 minutes straight but they didnt give in and he eventually ate for them. Then they told me it's probably behavioral his eating issues cause when i would take him home he held food in his mouth only wanting liquid and not eating for me so i was upset and worried. They told me to be strong and the doc told me the same to ignore the tantrums that he is looking for attention as long as he is offered food and clean and such then to ignore the tantrums. Ok so i offered food he would eat and he would push it away and keep doing it and would scream when i would let him down from his highchair so i knew he was hungry and he would follow me around screaming. When he would have a diaper change he would kick me hit me and stuff and i would turn him over for his diaper changes and he would kick his legs then just so i couldnt get his pants on him and everything still to this day is a complete battle. He holds his legs straight so i cant get his pants on him easily he follows me and demands food or drinks and then i give it to him and it isnt good enough so he throws it and screams some more. I noticed him circling the table repeatly like his sister "use" to and he shakes and watches lights and things that spin and he flaps his arms when excited, overstimulated etc. Some therapists say he is copying his sister and others say he isnt and it's great i am getting him checked out. He constantly follows his sister around and takes whatever she has and that gets her upset then he sits back and watches the reaction or someone that is visiting thinks my daughter is a bully even though he provokes her, and he constantly does it all day. he acts like a little prince around my mom or when we go out and eat well then when no one is around he turns into a monster. I just dont understand He does say "mama" he use to say "dada" but not anymore and he sometimes says bye but not for going bye bye. he doesnt understand directions and he doesnt point or wave or anything. He just screams and wants everything "now" and he has to have certain toys when he gets out of the tub like has to take the same toy out of the tub everytime. he use to get a reaction out of me but then i learned not to reinforce like when he goes around the house doing something wrong that he knows and he looks back to see what i am gonna do then i stop reacting and now my daughter is the target for reactions. I play with him and he just wants to play with the strings on the toy. He wants the toy my daughter has "all" the time then when she is done i try get him to play with it with me but he doest want to or if he manages to get the toy off my daughter he throws it or doesnt want to play with it properly. i try to turn him to another toy when i see him going for my daughter but he keeps going back 3 times or more to my daughters toy or annoying my daughter instead of playing with the thousands of toys he has. I thought he was just strong-willed or high-need but i am not sure. What can be wrong am i doing the right thing for taking him to the specialist? his regular pedi is concerned about him. i know kids like to take toys from other kids but he is always botheirng what my daughter has all day until she cries and then he laughs at her, and whoever doesnt know my kids well think my daughter is a bully cause of him doing that all the time and her getting angry at him. she cant talk she has autism and she shows being upset when this goes on all day cause he is on her like a "fly" on poop, i know that sounds weird but he wont play with me. why is he looking for a reaction when i am giving him attention and he just wants out of my arms and stuff and just throws his toys and gets mad and demands stuff from me. i try leaving food and drinks out so he can have something. yet i make food and he comes right at me screaming though he has snacks right in front of him. With all this said sorry so long, and the behaviors he has what can it be? he also finger flicks a lot too and not sure why and my daughter rarely did that.