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Old 12-16-2006, 02:16 PM   #1
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davann HB User
Unhappy Help Son is having violent outbursts

My son in the last 2 days is having very bad outbursts. He trys to break things in the house. He attacks me and even threw a chair at me. He is 17 teen and 6 3. I have a worker for him but he refuses to go with him. He also refuses to go to school.

 
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Old 12-16-2006, 03:03 PM   #2
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Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

I can really relate, my son is 18 6foot2 250 lbs,he had a conselor thru youth villages, he was extremely bad,he beat me up often with his fist objects you name it he would do it,one day he came at me with a butcher knife he tried to stab me, i had to defend myself,from that day on he changed for the better, i am not advocating to beat him up, but you have to do what you can to protect yourself and those around you,what kind of services does he get? is he on meds? if so he might need a med change, but he does need to see his doctor asap, when my son became real bad he would have to be hospitalized for a week or 2 so they could stabilize him,good luck!

 
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Old 12-16-2006, 05:48 PM   #3
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Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

Because you are posting on the Autism board, I am assuming he is diagnosed with some degree of ASD. The questions I have would be what level is his language skills? Does he have (or do you have) a list of either activities or items which serve as rewards? Do they work? Are there any things which grab his attention and will keep it (at least for a while)? If he is as violent as you suggest, his counselor needs to at least be contacted so this behavior can be reported. In some cases, the police should also be notified. If he is a danger to others, or himself, he should be taken to the emergency room at the hospital. Because He is 17, and will soon be 18, have you contacted the Adult Mental Health branch of your state Department of Health to prepare for adult services when he turns 18? Will you maintain guardianship when he turns 18? No question it's a difficult road to travel. I wish you strength, courage and patience...

 
Old 12-17-2006, 05:19 AM   #4
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funnylife HB User
Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

hi my son is very much the same, i just wish there was a way of teaching kids like our to deal with there feeling , med is ok and helps but i feel that theres not enough help out there for the child them selfs to learn about there feelings and how to cope with there own feelings, there is a lot for parents, like medication ,advice for avoiding behaviur but i think feeling should be tourt to them in class room as a lot of things can teached through vidos , story telling, to them in a way they can understand, all i can advice is one day at a time and try not to react as i found my son behaves to get reaction juct walk away if can and keep safe untill his carmed down, then try to tell him what he could have done to show his feelings that wouldnot have got him in trouble best of luck m

 
Old 12-17-2006, 06:42 AM   #5
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Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

Hi Kenwae is right, i called the dept of mental retardation in my area 13 years ago to put him on the waiting list for personal assistant services and supported living when he graduates,they finally came thru with services a year ago, i also obtained conservertorship/guardianship 3 months before his 18th birthday that is important to get that.call them in your area and tell them how violent he is and you need services now,and they will help you get conservetorship as well, i didn't have to pay anything the state did.and do take him to the emergancy room, you might not like the fact that he has to be hospitalized but I took it as time to spend with my daughter and time for myself,long bubble baths, manicures etc all the things I couldn't do, and if you do take him to the hospital and mobile crisis is called and they do find a psyc hospital for him make sure the police or sherrifs dept takes him,its hard but i did it with my son numerous times.

 
Old 12-18-2006, 04:19 PM   #6
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Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

I appreciate everyones input about my son, to answer a few questions, David does have autism. He has no language skills even though he makes the sound of moma, thats all he has. He communicates by guestures and pictures and now we have a communication device we are trying him on. We have tryed rewards and at some point it worked some but he fixated on this so bad he could not get his mind on anything else and it caused alot of aggression. So we stopped. He is seen by a phychiatrist regularly and is on several meds, which for the last 5 years have been great but now the change in his classroom setting has uprooted every postive step he has made. The Dr. added another med. 2 weeks ago I think it pushed him over the edge. That med has been stopped.He refuses to go to school and even refuses to work with his cap worker.I would never be able to call the police on my son. I know what your thinking I must have not been beaten up enough Not true I know at some point I may lose my sons place here with me.,but I know he was very violent when he was little and that changed, I'm just hoping it will change again. Thanks for your support, it helps to vent instead of holding it in. I am going to get guardianship over him when the time comes. He was in the phyc ward when he was younger it helped none.

 
Old 12-18-2006, 06:58 PM   #7
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Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

One thing you might consider....if he is taking so many meds and some of them appear not to be working as well as they had, and he has been in a psych ward before.....if he were to go in to a ward again, it could be for the purpose of a totally new med management regime. Generally, while in the hospital, he is taken off the meds and then re-evaluated for meds and put on a new schedule of, sometimes, new meds. It's a lot to go through but sometimes it can help. The only reason to call the police would be to have some kind of support and some documentation which would help re: adult mental health services. It's not about having him arrested. Good luck...

 
Old 12-19-2006, 07:10 AM   #8
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Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

I am the grandmother of a 22year old high functioning adult. He has been living in group home for the past 2yrs. and making progress. He comes home every weekend but still has many struggles with simple situations. His parents discipline him by not allowing him to visit home when he has outburts. In your experience does this work?

 
Old 12-19-2006, 07:46 PM   #9
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Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

No. Communication with family members, visits with family members, should not be used as incentives or consequences. Family visits and communication should be allowed to occur as scheduled regardless of behaviors, unless something extreme occurs which naturally would prevent a meeting (such as an accident or something like that...)

 
Old 12-20-2006, 12:29 AM   #10
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Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

hi well i do no how you feel ,my sons behaver get worse when i send him to school his 15 i am pulling him out in feb so that i can try to manage his behaver , before he can go to a day centre, his school arnt to happy about this but his attacking the staff,and not learning any thing , i feel the headmaster wants him to be put away some where, at home he dose have outbursts but usal its when his come home from school and has had a bad day , sometimes he seem to stare while looking through his books and gets moody but you can see his thinking of something that has happened that day or the day before, although i cant prove that, its what i feel , to them his outbursts are unperdickable, to me its not , at this point i am very scared that they want to make the decisions, instead of me so i pulling him out , the headmaster and i fell out two years ago after lying in a letter to docter saying my son attacked his sister which i was very anger, as the school is miles away from my home and his never met the girls any way he said sorry, but the trust has gone , he did it to try to get my son more help but thats no excuse,well there was a meeting and i wiped the foor with him and showed him up , as my son has not been get every thing he should have education wise, well all i can do is hope he gets better now i am going to pull him out there is a meeting in feb to try to preswad me to put him in school part time, so what i have decided is to see if his behaver gets better over chritmas hoildays if dose i am keeping him home, and wait for a placement at the day centre , which will mean no break for me but hopefully no agression ether if agession is still a problem may be i will consider part time school , but have a feeling agression will go ,its christmas next week so hopeing new year new start , good luck , and dont give up, on your kids xxx

 
Old 12-26-2006, 09:22 PM   #11
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Re: Help Son is having violent outbursts

my oldest younger brother is not autistic, but he has violent outfbursts, ever sense he was like 2.

he is 5 years younger than me, so up untill a year or so ago, he HAS hurt me but i have been both bigger and strionger than him. i am still stronger, he hits like a little girl, i am a small girl but i dont, he doenst mess iwth me too baddly becuase i can pin him without too much of a hard time (until recently, as i said)

i starte dto worry Alot as ghe started to reach my size, and lucky for me, he was sent to my moms home (devorced parents)

my mom is strict, unlike my dad, somehow, she managed to get through his head that behaving that way is not okay, through long "boreing" talks, and taking away his video games, hanging out with freinds, phone, etc. making him clean stuff, general child punishments.

but he is not autistic so i dont know if normal thinsg would work on autistic behaviors

for me, i am your sons age, but i have alot of self controle. i dont hurt people unless they hurt me first, i do snap sometiems and i.e. throw my cell phone hard against my wall, ive broken things im sure.


one thing i found, i know i can get so stressed, so i will draw or paint or clean frantically to vent, untill i just calm down. i think playing a really active game like DDR might work too

my littlest brother, has autism though, hes 8, and hesjust now intering that "bad" "growing-up-stage" and i have a very hard time handleing his fits when i babysit
my sister is a little younge rthan him and thus the spoiled baby, so he gets very mad at her sometimes.

sense hes so small, its easy to hold his arm if he trie sto hit, and tell him "no" or give him "time out", and once he calms down, explain to him Why something he did was not okay, and he is good at understanding if i exlpain it. hes a very sweet boy, he just doesnt understand how to react to certain emotions.
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Please excuse any gramatical/spelling errors, I have a verbal disability.

Last edited by iyami; 12-26-2006 at 09:23 PM.

 
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