tantrums increasing at daycare - Autism Spectrum Message Board

maggie78 · 12-30-2006, 04:51 PM

quick question... lucas almost four was dx pdd-nos a couple of weeks ago. his tantrums or "meltdowns" occur frequently at church or school assembly (for his older siblings) he become extremely active and the corresponding tantrums, with the yelling and throwing himself on the floor follow. we think that all the people, the sounds, the music the voices, etc may overstimulate him. during the last month, these episodes have begun to occur in daycare (he goes to a regular daycare, we have an appointment with the school board in 10 days). we have been called to pick him up atleast once each day. this week there was no school on monday, i kept him home on tuesday, he went on wednesday, but he did not participate in anything, stayed by himself, watching tv, refused to put on his socks or shoes (sensory issues) and refused to eat. on thursday he refused to stay, hanging on to his dad like "a monkey" my husband would open his arms and he would be there hanging. he threw himself on the floor and screamed, yelled and kicked, we brought him back home. on friday he got there at 8:30 and by 11 they called, i could hear him yelling and screaming. i know difficult he can be so i pick him up. the daycare workers are elderly women who are very patient with him, but they dont know how to deal with him. any thoughts on why his behavior is becoming so difficult in school? could it also be over stimulation?

firenice · 12-31-2006, 12:50 AM

Over stimulation is a good possibility. There may be other issues as well. Presumably, he's been ok at home and maybe keeping him at home for several days can calm him down enough so that he can return to day care. But his return should be modified so it's low on sensory activities at first. Tantrums and meltdowns are a form of communication, generally frustration at not having a need met or having something irritating him not removed. If a child is not able to communicate what that is, it's often very difficult to know what to do.

Laenini · 12-31-2006, 05:43 AM

I would suggest keeping my eyes open for a different kind of daycare for him. Large group daycares are just too much for some ASD kids and some will do better in a smaller, home based daycare with fewer children and much less stimulation. I was so lucky with my youngest child. I found a wonderful lady who just wanted one child to watch along with her own child. She took Zach when he was 8 weeks old and I had to go back to work full-time, and she kept him until Kindergarten. She was a second mom to him and I was really grateful that he had such good care.

Also, if you decide to apply for and then qualify to receive county based developmental disorder social services, in home staff may become an option and day care would no longer be needed. Saving the cost of daycare may offset any parent fees your county may (or may not! it varies from state to state) impose.

Daycare was a difficult issue with my older asperger's child. I learned that if I was getting constant complaints about him, then he was better off if I just found something different for him. I remember going toe to toe with the after school program run by the district we lived in at the time when they wanted to expel Nick from their program. I got an attorney and I won, they kept Nick. BUT... I learned that although you can force a program to include a difficult child with disabilities, you can't force them to like it and you can't force them to like your child. In retrospect, Nick would have been better off if I had just gotten him out of there.

maggie78 · 12-31-2006, 03:34 PM

thank you for your feedback. it was on 12/8 when i first heard the pediatrician say "autistic like traits" and requested evaluations. that same day i started educating myself on all pdd's. it was also when i found this board. it has been a life saver. to see other parents understand me, go thru what i am going thru has been wonderful. i've learned that so much of my son's behavior is not unique to him. it is "normal" within children with pdd, like his shoes and sock issue, like the overstimulation, the tantrums, the switching on and off the lights, etc. thank you all so much for all your posts, help and advise.