Questions about Autism and what it feels like... - Autism Spectrum Message Board

JoJoLEE · 01-08-2007, 01:23 PM

I know we have a few people who come here that are Autistic and/or have other disablities. I was wondering if you could share what it feels like.

I have heard that some people heard loud noises in their head. One lady said that she had a hard time making eye contact with people because it hurt. The people would begin to look distorted like when you look at yourself in a fun house mirror.

Why do they have a hard time with socializing?

Can any one share so I can better understand?

iyami · 01-09-2007, 02:03 AM

well i have aspergers, i dont know about "normal" autism, but for me, i can tell you everything i can think of.

i feel alienated, like everyone has an antena on tehri head taht connects common sense, and mines broken. i have been saying that for years and i cant word it any better.

and i have a hard time talking, or rather saying what i mean the way i mean it, and i get so frutsated when i cant communicate that i started studying art as a child and now im a professional artist.

i had an awful time in school, becuase i had trouble udnerstanidng verbal things, and im bad with social skills so i just smile at everyone no matter what they say to me, and my teachers hought i was slacking off and trying to be "cute" when they confronted me. which made it worse.

i would nevr cal myself diabled, ever, becuase i know how intelegent i am, i just am not normal. infact if soemone implied to me "your autistic so your diabled" id get mad. i think kind of backwards, but even if im different im just as good as anyoen else, my visual skills make up for my verbal and then some. im actually mensa material even if i dont always feel like i am.

ive never heard noises in my head or seen poepel distort liek in a mirror, thats kind of scarey if it were to happen to me id freak out thinking i had a stroke or i was scitzofrenic something. but lowd noises, i am sensative to, they bother me majorly, and my little suster doenst talk she Squeels and Yells, i love her but its So hard to be around her.

i am overly senstaive to pretty much everything, very picky about cloths, i wont french kiss (poor desh) becuase i Hate goopy-creamy texture of things liek spit and mashed potatoes i love but cant eat for that reason. i also hate eyecontact becuaseit akes me uncomfertable liek my skin could crawl. and i hate being touched, its very uncomfertable, but i have no idea why.

i also have a bad immune system, i get sick so often, liek almost All the time, ive also been diagnosed with fibromyalgia (hypersensativity + sleep + harmone + immune system problems) which seems like it would be common amoung autism but ive never checked. i always worry i talk too much or too lowd or fast too. people complain alot about the way i talk.

and i have major trouble makeing discitions, especially if someone asks me to do something out of the blue i freak. i Have to have my schedual. and i Hate not knowing rules or boundaries, which shocks people because they think im some kind of rebelious activist type. and i get stressed Alot, it builds up and i have to let it out, i do that by crying or doing something very phsycial or drawing or venting verbally.

people hate when i gaze, i stare off and my eyes dont focus on anything, and i listen but i dont answer them, ive done its ense i was very little, i do not know why but i like it somehow. i also pace, it drives my dad and grandma Nuts, they actually pull me into a chair sometimes and say "pleeease sit still" sometimes i think thats so funny. i "cat" at my pants or a rug or anything fabric (like how if you pet my kitten, alovacado, he cruls his claws in and out over and over), and i tap my leg which also makes people nevrous, and i curl my toes inand out which is weird and sometiems if i sit on my feet and do it i hurt myself accidently ive poped my toes out of joint before. i also fold y hands like lacing my fingerstogeter and putting my hand sin my lap. i think it looks too "proper", which i am so not, but i still do it unknowingly. i also rub my collar bone and general mid-chest, which i try not to do in public becuase i am always worried someone will look at me funny.

i also touch things, with my fingertips, sense i am not a touchy-feely-snuggley sort of person i found out that is how i show effection. i touch the spines of books at a store, or drawings i look at or have made, or i put my fingertips on desh's and then flatten my plam to his (and he loves that)

and my least favourite thing, i pick up on other peopels verbal habbits, accients and dialects, phrases. i think thats like echoing but i dont know ifits atcually echolalia sense i Do repeat people but not right back to them right after they say it.

smw73 · 01-16-2007, 10:47 PM

I'm 33 and have mild Autism. I've been posting over the past few months and have tried to explain sometimes a bit how it feels - sometimes, you just feel so misinterpreted and misunderstood. For example, because I had trouble socialising, I sometimes got called 'a snob'. People didn't seem to understand why I would freak out in crowded public places, new situations/environments, or why I would get easily frustrated, upset and angry.

I think I just felt quite different from other people from an early age. A thing about being 'high-functioning' is that you are acutely aware from an early age of feeling different from your peers. I've changed a bit as I've gotten older - I think I handle it better but nothing is ever going to totally remove the Autism.

I don't hear loud voices in my head or anything but sometimes feel like I get a lot of 'mental noise' - I don't know how to sort out all the stimuli (I consider that my main symptom). So I like things which are routine, calm, orderly, and that I'm familiar with. When I was younger, I didn't even want to go into a bank and face the bank teller to do something simple like withdraw cash. But these days, I'm pretty independent and do most things by myself - like travelling, looking after my personal affairs, arranging and going to events, etc

It's great to come to this site and read about other people who are like yourself and who know where you're coming from. I've lived in the country most of my life - I have some good friends but not that much specialist support.

I get really obsessive about some things (when I was child, I could do the same thing over and over for hours on end - more 'routine'). I like my own space and company and am quite happy that way. At school, I liked the 'logical' subjects, like maths, science and computers. I'm very analytical (sometimes too analytical) and excelled in these subjects. But I could also draw and play musical instruments very well - my fine motor coordination was very good but I was the worst at sports/games.

That's about all I have time to write today, but thanks for the post and for your interest - smw