I am sure everyone feels like this sometimes, I am just feeling it particularly strongly today. My whole life revolves around my sons ASD, where we go what we do, how long we can stay etc...............I truly hoped he would be a little more functional than he is at the moment coming on to 5 and would be starting kindergarten. I guess what set me off most was seeing an old friend (about 6 of us has little boys all born in the 1st half of 2002) and she was telling me how excited Robby was for school. I am happy for him through my own tears of grief. I though this year Nicolas would get some comprehension out of the santa thing not very much. I know there are so many horrible things in this world and I am lucky to have wonderful family but sometimes Im just sad.
Ahh Monkey3 don't apologize for being human. We all have that vision of perfection when we get married or have a child. I remember thinking to myself that i ordered the chubby pink cute baby that smiles all the time and is a joy to be around ALL the time not his one that crys at every little noise and can't deal with new people and makes my life so bloody hard.When I get to feeling blue my best friend always tells me I am Liam's Mom for a reason because he was going to have issues and I was just the chop busting Mom he'd need to get him all he needs. Nicholas has you for a reason.
Chin up Monkey3 just because they have what looks to be normal kids you never know what someone is going through behind closed doors every one's life looks better than ours from a distance.
I know what your going through my son is 7 and I was very upset not to get even a wave goodbye as he was taken into his classroom on the first day. He still dosn't tell me whats happenning at school. But finally this year I took him to the supermarket on Christmas Eve with him sitting in the trolley. He jumped up as we passed Santa's Grotto and wanted off the trolley. When he got out he ran into the Grotto and jumped on Santa's knee and gave him a cuddle. It was my best Christmas present ever. I will treasure that picture for ever. A few months ago he lost his first baby tooth I could not bear to part with it. I placed it in a jar and one day soon I hope to put it underneath his pillow when he understands about the Tooth Fairy. Remember our kids are developmentally delayed they will hopefully go through all the stages other kids go through just a little later than they should.
Thanks for your replies, it is nice not to feel so lost and alone. My daughters 6 and 8 tell me that the angels told them to come to us as their parents because we would be the best for them makes me cry in a happy way. Maybe, just maybe, they are right.
Just a little sad 
makes me cry in a happy way. Maybe, just maybe, they are right.
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