| | my very special resolution with a weird inspiration
oddly enough, i got the most incouragment for this resolution from a manga/anime series called "death note"
im not really a fan of the series, i find it to be a bit tedious and morbid.
ive only bothered to watch episodes 6 through 13 (where L. made his big appearances)
L., one of the two main characters, has Aspergers <3
they dont say it strait out, its considered "fan speculation"
but he wears no socks or shoes, always wears the same jeans and long sleeve tshirt, has bags under his eyes, the way he "daintily" holds things, the way he talks, his indirect eye contact, how he walks and sits, how he fidgets his feet, and his insanely logical way of thinking that averts from normal emotions.
hes SO much like me, i was very happy, and its such a well-known series~!
i was happy to sit and talk and talk and look just like him.
it must be how much i obsess over rules,
he showed me, its OKAY to be a social misfit, he even attended a formal thing with no shoes on and no suit, and have a speech, everyone made mean comments quietly though.
so my resolution is to act EXACTLY like i think i should act, just like how i feel, no more bending over backwards to try to be socially acceptable.
if i want to walk like a windup doll then i will, or if i think something is childish then ill say so. no more social rules for me.
i officially concede to being unable to understand, no matter how hard i try people still get offended
so its better if i just stop worrying right?
one other thing i love about L. is that hes a bloody genious, undisputed, and i didnt know the things like he does were "genious", i always thought i was kind of dumb becuase of the way i talk, it made me very happy to know my IQ really is atleast as high as my school tried to lable me.
did anyone else decide to stop trying to fit social rules too? how did it work out?
Please excuse any gramatical/spelling errors, I have a verbal disability.