i'm at a loss... - Autism Spectrum Message Board

sapphiregem · 01-25-2007, 11:10 AM

my ds is 2 this weekend and was dx with PDD NOS in early December...so far we have only Early Intervention therapy cause he had no speech and no want to play with anyone but his sister...

things have improved hugely in him but now we are hitting a new stage and between the age (even though technically he is 2, he is more like 18 months) and the dx i cant figure out what to do...

when we tell him no he was bad or dont do that or no touch he either turns and hits the wall or something in site, hits himself in the stomach, hits his 4 yr old sister if she is right there or if i am bent down to his level he hits me...if he is holding a toy it gets launched, 9 times out of 10 at his sister...

then there is the sleeping issue...we have never been able to just lay him down to go to sleep, since birth we have HAD to hold him, and mostly we are holding him tight to pin him down, he fights and kicks and screams and hits...when he has finally calmed down enough we can't lay him down, even if he is asleep, immediately wakes and clings to me, or tosses himself madly and has hurt himself in his bed doing this...i really want my bed back so we can be a couple again...

any ideas would be appreciated and welcomed with open arms

Kolby · 01-25-2007, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphiregem

my ds is 2 this weekend and was dx with PDD NOS in early December...so far we have only Early Intervention therapy cause he had no speech and no want to play with anyone but his sister...

things have improved hugely in him but now we are hitting a new stage and between the age (even though technically he is 2, he is more like 18 months) and the dx i cant figure out what to do...

when we tell him no he was bad or dont do that or no touch he either turns and hits the wall or something in site, hits himself in the stomach, hits his 4 yr old sister if she is right there or if i am bent down to his level he hits me...if he is holding a toy it gets launched, 9 times out of 10 at his sister...

then there is the sleeping issue...we have never been able to just lay him down to go to sleep, since birth we have HAD to hold him, and mostly we are holding him tight to pin him down, he fights and kicks and screams and hits...when he has finally calmed down enough we can't lay him down, even if he is asleep, immediately wakes and clings to me, or tosses himself madly and has hurt himself in his bed doing this...i really want my bed back so we can be a couple again...

any ideas would be appreciated and welcomed with open arms

Seems to me like a typical 2 year old really. Here are some suggestions:
Sleeping: We had the same problems. We realized that he was afraid when he woke. One minute asleep with Mom and the next minute in a different place (his bed). So we knew we would have to work on it night by night.

So first we gave him and his brother a bath (6:30 ish)
7:00 PM everyone laid down for Sesame Street until 8:00 PM.
From 8:00 PM to the boys room to read two books. Each boy picked a book.
By 8:30 in bed and prayers said. Night light and a glass of water.

It didn't happen overnight but eventually it worked. Once in a while we would let the kids falls asleep in our bed and boom we were back to square one. We found that we couldn't slack a bit. And no, you child will not follow the process the first night or the 2nd. You will have to sit in there with him and maybe stroke his head and act very very calm. It has been the best thing in our house and we have no problems at all. It's great and I loose no sleep.

As for the throwing/hitting...that does sound normal but if I were you I'd put him on a time out for 2 minutes each time he does that. Or take away his favorite toy or movie. Put it up high and tell him that he looses this toy for hitting. Also learn the sign for NO. Then you're not using your voice, you can just use your hand sign. Your voice or the tone could be hurting his senses.

And he will, with all force, use his temper to get to you. That is the way they work at 2. He will throw the biggest fit he can to get his way. And eventually realize that hitting only causes negative effects. And maybe he'll stop.

Good Luck and keep on trying.
Michelle (Kolby's Mom)

BetsyAnn · 01-25-2007, 07:09 PM

Sapphiregem, your post gave me flashbacks. My son had similar sleeping issues. It got so bad we had to resort to using Tenex for a couple of months. It did help some, but I did not like the way it made him all druged up the next day. When we tried the casein free diet however, he started sleeping soundly for the first time in his life after 3 days. It was miraculous! I know it wasn't placebo or coincidental because when he would have a dietary infraction he could not sleep well for 3 days. Apparently that is how long it takes for casein to leave your body.

Laenini · 01-25-2007, 11:38 PM

Sleep has been a challenge at our house too. Things were made worse by the fact that we lived in such a tiny house until Zachary was 5 that he didn't even have a bedroom of his own and instead had to share with my husband and myself (we had a teeny, tiny 3 bedroom house (<1000 sq feet), my daughter who is 12 years older than Zach had one tiny bedroom, and my older son who is 9 years older than Zach and also on the spectrum had another tiny bedroom, so Zach ended up with us.) Zach from the moment he was born had to be physically held in my arms to sleep, it seemed to be the only way he could relax and let go enough to fall asleep. When he was 5 we moved into a brand new house with 4 bedrooms so Zach finally had his own room. Although he liked the idea of having his own room, with his own bed, and all his own toys in there, he wouldn't sleep in there for anything! What finally worked was buying a blow up fancy air mattress and sleeping bag, both in a Spiderman theme (his favorite). We started out putting the bed on the floor next to my side of the bed and just talking for a few nights about how he was going to start sleeping in his special spiderman bed. He was excited enough about that little bed that after a week or so he was ready to try it, and it worked! He fell asleep in it from the very first night we tried and we made such a huge deal out of it that he kept it up. As time went on we slowly started moving the spiderman bed away from our bed and closer to our door and still all was well and he was sleeping in it. Then when we thought we were ready to try moving him actually into his own room we took advantage of one of his intense interests. At the time he was very interested in pets and animals, so we got him a 10 gallon fish tank and set it up in his own room. Then we told him he needed to sleep in his own room with his new pet fish so that they wouldn't be all alone. He went right along with it! The fish tank was great! The filter noise acted as a "white" noise to help calm him, the light in the tank made an awesome nightlight, and there are actually studies that show that watching fish swim is calming to the mind and conductive to relaxation. So we moved the spiderman bed into his own room right next to the fish tank and he started sleeping in his own room! Eventually, we got him to switch to a real bed with spiderman sheets, and then we finally updated his decor to a tropical fish/Nemo theme. He still goes to bed with little trouble each night in his own room and he is 9 years old now. We do still have trouble with him waking up at night sometimes and crawling into our bed in the middle of the night, but that isn't such a big deal to me. To me the important thing was getting to have that quiet time with my husband at bedtime, and we are getting that. Waking up in the morning sometimes to find Zach in our bed really doesn't bother me. I've always believed in choosing my battles so to speak.

AggieMom · 01-26-2007, 07:21 AM

On the sleep issue- I spent many nights lying in the floor in front of my sons door to keep him in his room- forget about getting him to sleep. Then his doctor recomended Melatonin. Do your own research on it. It is a chemical your body produces to help with the natural sleep cycle and is tied to light and dark. Many autistic kids do not have a natural sleep cycle. Anyway, you can buy it at GNC and we were much more comfortable with that than any precsciption (we tried one, but it looked "dead" when he was asleep). With the Melatonin, he would just disappear and we would find him in bed or curled up with his blanket and pillow somewhere. Now he just says "good night" and goes to bed. Only occasionally do we have to say "it's time for bed". When he was little, GNC sold a liquid form and we put it in his milk (Chocolate Almond Milk) about 30min before we wanted him to go to bed. They discontinued that and wasn't able to find any other liquids, so we bought the tablets and crushed them (after checking with his dr) and put the powder in his milk. It didn't disolve really well, but did the job. Now he's 8yrs old and he just swallows the tablet. They come in 1 mg and 3 mg. We started out with 1 mg, but now give him 2 of those since he's gotten bigger. Anyway, look it up. It saved us.