Very Frustrated - Autism Spectrum Message Board

Bncinlove · 05-21-2007, 10:45 PM

I have a 12 year old son who has ADD, seizure disorder, cyclic vomiting and sensory sensitivity. My son has to know the plan of the day first thing in the morning and he is upset if things change. He can't use a pencil because of the feel and sound of it on the paper. He has food preferences that are very strict. He will eat hot dogs until they are gone, then go onto the next food item until it is gone. He can't get himself ready in the mornings without forgetting at least two things. He doesn't bring home homework or remember if he even has any. He is very literal. If you ask him a question he will only answer the specifics in the question. Such as, my husband asked him this morning if he was cooking something because he could smell food. My son told him he wasn't cooking anything. My son had just finished cooking and wasn't cooking at the time of the question. He has a few "friends". These are people who come to play with my son when they have nothing better to do. He can't keep friends at all. He is very impulsive and can be very mean. He is very sensitive also. He has to be reminded to do chores many times over and still they don't get done. I am at my wits end with some of these things and the school doesn't help me at all. I have an IEP for him and he is allowed to use a pen instead of pencil, but that's about all the help he is getting. He will be attending middle school next year and changing classes. I am scared out of my mind about it. I just want him to succeed. Does this sound like anything you have heard of before??? I need some help!!!

darla72 · 05-22-2007, 07:46 AM

Hi,
I am very new to all of this. My son was just recently diagnosed with autism (he's 2 1/2) and some of his sensory issues drive me nuts! He is very developmentally delayed. But I try to remind myself of the things he can do and the positive things he brings to our lives. I understand your frustration even though I have not had to deal with it that long, I have so many fears about the future. Everyday something happens that just about breaks my heart, but I have a lot of suportive people around me. Do you have family members or friends you can reach out to? Defnintely call them when you need to.

Does your son receive any kind of therapy or counseling? It seems like he could be taught to be more emphathetic to others, how to give proper responses to different situations and how to infer what others mean- not easy tasks, but it seems like there should be some way to help him. Maybe occupational therapy could help him or even animal therapy (horses/dogs)-pets/animals are really good for teaching empathy and kindness and love.

Sorry I'm not much help, but you really seem frustrated and I can relate. I think everyone on this site could. Just remember you are not alone and your son does have qualities you love. Try to focus on the positives as much as you can. It is so hard I know. I just wish my son could talk- it would be a miracle! Your son seems pretty high functioning and he can learn and improve.
Good luck and God bless you!
Dorine

AggieMom · 05-22-2007, 02:44 PM

My son is not as old as yours, but one suggestion came to mind that has worked for me in getting the school to do more. First, you need to have some idea of what it is that you want them to help with. Many of the things that your son does, I'm not sure how the school can help. He may always be "literal" and that is something that family and others may have to just learn to work with. And of course, my son who's home from college still has to be reminded about chores...and they might not get done. I don't know how the school can help with that either. But if you have some kind of suggestion for them about what you think they should do, you should bring it up in his ARD and don't sign his IEP until you are satisfied. That doesn't always mean you get everything you want, but at least make them try. My ASD son does not communicate very well about his day or homework, but the school and I worked together to develope a folder system so that I know he has homework just by checking his folder everyday. It also has notes about how his day went and any behavior issues that were addressed. I'm sorry I'm not much more help, but I too don't look forward to my son going to middle school in a couple of years and having to get from class to class and remember all the things he will need to, but I will try to make sure that the school gives me support especially in communicating what he is unable to communicate. Good luck.