coping skills - Autism Spectrum Message Board

JJ's mom · 05-23-2007, 08:49 PM

For all you parents out there, I guess I need a kind ear to listen and offer stories so I know I am not alone. I know, in reality, I am not alone, but it sure helps to hear that others have been here too. My son is 6 and is on the spectrum, fairly high functioning but our biggest challenge is behavior on most days.

The last few days and weeks, and even months, I guess, have just left me saddened and frustrated and full of emotions. We have been diagnosed for 3 years and are making progress which I know is a blessing. But, I am sooooo weary of autism having a bearing on everything we say, do, think, feel, etc. Don't get me wrong, I don't hold this against my child. He is beautiful and precious.....but I would like autism not to have any of us in its grips one day. It affects how we eat, shop, travel, visit the doctor, grieve, and on and on and on....not one second of my life escapes this. I guess I long for a typical day every now and then........it just doesn't seem fair for our babies to have to deal with this.

I may not have said it well, but thanks for the time you gave to read it.

Kim

meechieny · 05-24-2007, 06:48 PM

You are not alone. I think when your child is diagnosed you go thru a grieving process. Not exactlly like when someone dies, but it's similar in alot of ways. You feel shocked then anger, then denial and then ...you struggle until you can finally find a sense of peace. I don't think you are at the peace yet. You will get there though.
I know our life has changed a lot, but when I think back it's actually hard to remember how things use to be. We don't take each day at a time, we take each problem at a time.
I think my son (who is 7) made his greatest strides from 5-6 and now again at 7. He is also high-functioning and I think it's maturity that is what's really making a difference.
It's also those life experiences....I have this great story.
We went bowling and it didn't go well at all. We went again and it was horrible. We went back again and I think we were very close to being asked to leave. We went back again and it was better. We went again and it was great!!!!!A "typically" developing friend from school invited him to his birthday party. It's actually going to be at the bowling alley. I'm really excited for my son because I know he is going to be ok.
Things will become more typical for you both. Keep your chin up.

hutch78 · 05-28-2007, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ's mom

For all you parents out there, I guess I need a kind ear to listen and offer stories so I know I am not alone. I know, in reality, I am not alone, but it sure helps to hear that others have been here too. My son is 6 and is on the spectrum, fairly high functioning but our biggest challenge is behavior on most days.

The last few days and weeks, and even months, I guess, have just left me saddened and frustrated and full of emotions. We have been diagnosed for 3 years and are making progress which I know is a blessing. But, I am sooooo weary of autism having a bearing on everything we say, do, think, feel, etc. Don't get me wrong, I don't hold this against my child. He is beautiful and precious.....but I would like autism not to have any of us in its grips one day. It affects how we eat, shop, travel, visit the doctor, grieve, and on and on and on....not one second of my life escapes this. I guess I long for a typical day every now and then........it just doesn't seem fair for our babies to have to deal with this.

I may not have said it well, but thanks for the time you gave to read it.

Kim

hutch78 · 05-28-2007, 03:58 PM

You are not alone sister. I am over here in Okinawa Japan serving as a U.S. Marine. I have beautiful twin boys that are on the spectrum. One Moderate/Severe (Daniel) and the other Low/Moderate (Jonathan). I guess the one thing I can say is that Jesus is involved and has a plan for my boys as well as your son. To tell you the truth, when I first heard, I cried at night thinking about my kids and how they are going to be. As well as my life has changed to become one big plan just for the boys to be more comfortable, (which has worked). We don't have a television in the house anymore which has helped Daniel sleep at night. You know though never lose hope because when it comes down to it that is all we really have left, (besides God). Never give up hope that one day everything will get better. There are still times that I cry big time, (sometimes like a little girl, which is not a thing I really can't share around the office due to the fact that Marines being macho and all).
That's OK though, just know that YOU are not alone and everything will be OK with your little guy!

jeffreys mom · 05-30-2007, 05:33 PM

I know what you mean about trying to escape it and no matter what it's just there again as a topic. Sometimes I use magazines in that little me time that rarely happens and it never fails that there will be some article about some family with an Autistic Child. I was using this time to escape and there it is right in my face again. Sorry for the rant.