Hi, Liamsmom! I had a sort of "roundabout way" of getting diagnosed. I also have comorbid OCD, so I was receiving Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for that last year, and around February of last year, my therapist noticed that I wasn't doing any better, and she suggested that I may also have Asperger's. I had heard of it and had read a little bit about it, but I quickly disregarded the possibility because all the readings ever focused on were the social deficits, and I'm not horribly socially deficit. (There are three "classes" of adults with Asperger's, and I'm the one called "passive, but friendly." Basically, I'm "nice" to people, but I hate being around them, and I can "hide" my Asperger's to the general public. It doesn't become obvious until you get to know me better.)
Anyway, the day she suggested it, she got out the DSM-IV and started reading off the criteria. I think I was missing one for the social category, but since then, I've read extended criteria that I have met. So, basically, I received a "pseudo diagnosis" that day. My old therapist referred me to my current therapist, a friend of hers who is an Asperger's specialist. I went to see her for the first time this September for a consultation, and I got an official diagnosis after said consultation. She said that it was "very obvious," and it is to people who know what they're looking for. Lots of people get ADOS's (Autism Diagostic Observation Scale) or ADI's (Autism Diagnostic Interview) done, but I haven't.
As with all neuropsych disorders, the diagnostic process is very, very subjective. It's basically taking vague statements from the DSM and using one's own judgment to see if the individual meets the vague criteria. The bad thing about the DSM and the subjectiveness of the whole process is that it opens doors to both overdiagnosis and underdiagnosis. If you don't have the stereotypical case of a disorder, you may likely miss it. That's how I was for both the OCD (I'm a pure obsessional, not the stereotypical handwasher or lock/stove checker) and the Asperger's. That's why I believe it's important to read books on the subject, because books tell you minute symptoms that you'd never find in the DSM. For example, one of my main signs is toe-walking. I've been doing that since birth. However, I never knew that toe-walking was a sign of autism until I read books. Same with sensory issues. Those are central to ASD's, but they are never mentioned in the DSM.
The other bad thing about the DSM is that the vagueness of the criteria also leads to misinterpretation of what it's actually saying. Really, who understands what "lack of reciprocal conversation" means if you haven't been introduced to the world of autism? Books explain to you what "reciprocal conversation" means, and at first, it may seem like your child doesn't have a problem, but when you say "will ramble on-and-on without letting others have a chance," you may see your child in that.
I read a lot about Asperger's between the time I got my "pseudo diagnosis" and my official one, because I have an obsession (still do) that I'm "faking" it and that I'm getting a diagnosis I don't deserve. The books serve as compulsions for me because I can "check" to see if I really do have it. So, if you read about it scrupulously, you are pretty confident your son's an Aspie, and you take your son to get a diagnosis and the doctor says "no," you probably want to consider getting a second opinion. Hope this helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask!
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
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