Callista

PDD-NOS? I know that's a catch-all, but it seems like the only Spectrum thing that'd fit. If I were a doctor instead of just a college student with child-development and abnormal psych under my belt, I probably wouldn't diagnose her as on the Spectrum... but she really does have some features of it, doesn't she?

Seems like the biggest thing she has to overcome is perseveration. Basically, her brain gets "stuck" on something, and she repeats it over and over. That's part of the "triad" of autism symptoms: Social impairment, language impairment, and repetitive/restricted interests. As far as you can tell, she only has that third one--and only in a very limited way; you say she enjoys playing with other kids, and that takes real flexibility.

She also seems to be dissociating somehow... "zoning out", I call it. It happens when you're focused on something mentally, and not paying attention to what's around you--even if your name's called. (Most people dissociate sometimes. Your daughter's just seems to be more intense. Have you checked to be sure it isn't absence seizures? I've had a college roommate who had those, and when she had them she'd just stare off into the distance and wouldn't hear you. She called them "brain hiccups".)

Also: Meltdowns. At two, I'm not entirely sure they aren't just severe temper tantrums; but these out-of-control fits are quite characteristic of autism. I have Asperger Syndrome, and mine didn't stop until I was 16 and i learned to deal with frustration, stress, and strong emotion in another way (which was also a bad way, but that's a long story... I finally got over THAT a year ago). Basically, a meltdown is when your brain is too overloaded to process things anymore; so you can't do much but cry and kick and whatnot. It feels like everything's out of control, including yourself; and it's a very annoying thing, especially if (like me; like most Aspies) you love order and predictability.

Meltdowns are normal for two-year-olds; your daughter's brain is still easily overwhelmed. However, if you've compared your daughter to other children, and hers seem more severe than the other kids', it might be worth it to start teaching her how to understand her feelings a little better. For example, "When you start feeling bad, it's OK to..." and then insert some calming activity. (For me, it often meant wrapping myself in a blanket. There's just something soothing about the pressure, and being surrounded by a blanket like that makes the world seem smaller and more controllable.) Since your girl is pretty social, maybe you could tell her she can come to you for a hug. The goal is to get her to learn to predict when she's going to be overwhelmed, and to retreat from that situation before she flips out. If a meltdown does happen, best thing is just to make sure she doesn't hurt herself, and leave her alone--she doesn't need more overload from somebody telling her to calm down (I can't process "Calm down" when I'm in the middle of a meltdown, anyway; she might be the same way)... But remember: She's two. That sort of thing is normal for two-year-olds; and the vast majority learn to calm themselves by the age of four or so. Your teaching her that sort of thing can be immensely helpful, though, if she's especially prone to tantrums.

In your position (unless seizures were a valid concern, in which case the doctor should be consulted), I would just watch and wait. Write down, as clearly as posssible, your concerns and observations. If she has problems, try to teach her to overcome them. Most of all, love her. Give her a predictable environment, steady rules she can depend on. Being two isn't all that easy--the whole world's changing at that age.

She does have autistic traits, though--there's no denying that. Many otherwise typical people do have autistic traits, especially if autism is already in the family (it has a very strong genetic component--for example, my parents are both Aspies, and two of their three children are, as well... All high-functioning; all happy; but certainly autistic... The third child, a girl, is intraverted and has below-average social skills, but is neurologically typical).

Because she has these autistic traits, some of the same things that help autistic children could help her. I'm not talking about complex, expensive therapy here--in my opinion, with her good communication skills, she probably doesn't need it. But your networking with other moms whose kids have autism or autistic traits is a good idea: They have a lot of experience with meltdowns and perseveration, and how to help the child handle them.