Hello I know most of you talk about your son or daughter's here but I really need some help. Im 17 in my last year of high school and was a recently diagnosed with diabetes 7 months ago. Ive been having a learning disability my whole life. When I was about 5-10 I had to go to a psychiatrist for odd behaviors. I used to throw my moms cloth and shoe's out the window and other weird stuff. She said I had a.d.d. Than had to spend some time in a speech therapist class in elementary school.
I had a tough time learning. When I try to learn I wounded up forgetting what I have learned in about 1 minute or less. My mind would fly all the time. So they continued to put me in special ed classes. I still have an IEP. I researched autism on the internet last night. Very very odd. Almost all the symptoms seem to match almost perfectly.
I have a hard time talking to people. In fact I hate talking to people its really really hard to speak let alone looking at the person's face while talking. I used to not look at someone's face when talking to them because I couldent think while talking to them. Right now, I force my self to make eye contact with the person im talking to because I dont want them to think im not paying attention, but its really hard to do. My words get jumble up.I cant multi task at all! Great and Im starting to drive. I find it very hard to make friends. I just sit at lunch by my self reading a helicopter magazine. I thought this new school year would get me at least one person to talk to but I cant. I used to go to a small school for special ed students that only had about 100 students. I had two friends. I still talk to them through chat online. They always want me to use Skype to speak over the internet. Even though I dont need to make eye contact ,im still finding it just as hard as talking to them in person. I also have a hard time thinking of stuff to start and continue a conversation. Maybe thats why its so hard to make new friends...
I also read some where about sensory over load. I get this alot and gets me a big head ache. (Example) Here I am sitting in class. The lights seem brighter. I hear the whole class talking at once. People tapping there pen, shuffling paper. I cant pay attention! I hear, feel ,see all this stuff all at once, I thought everyone was like this.
I heard autistic kids are really smart? Im just a bit bellow average could it be just from a.d.d and not something like autism.
Now back to being social. Again I hate going out side. I never do. It's a very rare occasion for me to go outside. It requires force for me to go outside for anything. When I am outside alone. It feels like I dont belong. Feel like people think im weird. They probably don't but evry look that a person gives me triggers me to think what they are thinking about me instantly. Walking down the streets with people looking at you, I cant stand it, I would walk really fast and not know it, than I would realize im walking to fast and force my self to walk like evryone else. I really try to make my self behave like everyone else when im in public. 2 months ago I have learnd how to deal with this. I would just simply stop thinking. Once I get started on thinking I cant stop. With out thinking, I wouldn't find these stupid unimportant patterns in things. With out thinking, un wanted questions and pictures dont pop up in my head all of the sudden. This helps a little but everything is still very disorganized. What ever this is, its ruining my life.
Did more research. I do have trouble finding out what people mean. Is it a joke? Why did she say that? 1 minutes later after that talk was finished. I continue to replay over and over what just happend in my head. Cant help it.
Ive got the some lists of symptoms from this site. http://www.webmd.com/brain/Autism/Autism-Symptoms
They say people with autism like to read train schedules and stuff that's very mathematical. Im not like that at all. I hate math. Also it says on that site that they do the same routines. Thats the complete opposite of me. Im very inconsistent.
"body rocking, hand flapping" I have these tendencies to do things over and over again, if I dont I begin panakeng. For example. If I something touches me softly, I have to push on that spot harder. Keep on wiggling my toes and sometimes it bleeds. My hands are the same way. I would keep squeezing my hand's because soft touches don't really feel like anything so I push on it until I feel something. Im doning it now as I type. Also developed weird sounds with my mouth that started in 9th grade. Im in 12th now. Really bad habits. It really hurts when im at school and im trying to suppress these urges for these stupid habits. My most hated habit is not being able to talk in my head when I want to. Talking in my mind makes me talk out loud when I say t or s or v sounding words.
Now I took an online test to help see if someone is autistic or not. It said the average was something like 16.4 and a person that is considered autistic is 32 or above. I scored 39 but it is just a test. The test also said this is not used to diagnose people. Just really want to know whats wrong with me. Ive been living like this for my whole life and im fed up with it. Its my last year in high school and what ever it is, if its autism or something else I want it to stop.
If I did have autsim wouldent they already know??