Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Southeastern USA
Re: Talking Loud
I agree with CrabbyApple. Teach your son "whisper voice", teach your son "normal voice", and teach him that his current voice is called "loud voice". Practice, practice, practice, like it's a game. And always tell him what you want, not what you don't want. Like, don't say, you're talking too loud, stop talking so loud. Tell him you need to use your normal voice, you need to use your whisper voice. And confront him every time, don't let him get away with the wrong voice, even if you have to put your hand over his mouth and haul him out of the room. Explain to him that certain places require certain voices. He can use whisper voice here, normal voice here, and loud voice here.
Another possibility - my next door neighbor's son always talks VERY LOUD. I don't go many places, but had the opportunity to be inside their house once, and everyone in there was talking loud, talking over each other, TV was on, a computer game going too. The poor child was yelling trying to be heard, and was frequently ignored. Being loud was the only way he was heard at home, and he got used to it. Caused him lots of problems at school. He had learned that if he talked quietly, he was never heard.
I too have had problems with volume. Most of the time, I talk so quietly that people tell me to speak up, or are constantly asking me to repeat things. I hear my voice in my head and it sounds so loud!
When I'm out with a group and there is noise or activity going on around me, like in a restaurant, when I get excited I start talking really loud, but don't notice it. When my friends tell me I'm too loud and start shushing me, I'll lower my voice, but truly don't notice my volume as it's happening. Sometimes I notice they're looking around the restaurant with a worried look to see if we're attracting attention, and will realize I'm talking too loud.
Perhaps this is an opportunity for a training tool for someone to invent - a small ball that is noise sensitive, off when speaking too low, lights up green when volume is just right, and red when too loud. Could be useful!
We do need to be told WHY for just about everything. The world and its rules seem so arbitrary, but if we know the consequences of not doing it, things become "logical". What happens if you yell at school? What happens if you yell at a nice restaurant, or at church? You get punished is not the correct answer! The answer is more on the lines of you interfere with other people's ability to - learn, talk quietly to each other, hear the minister, etc. We frequently don't recognize how our behavior affects others, so have to be specifically told.
My son has thanked me many, many times for explaining "why" to him. My mother always used "because I said so", which was so useless to me, I was determined to never do that to my son. Sometimes I had to say, yes, it's stupid, I agree it's stupid and makes no sense, but these other people will think badly of you if you don't do it this way, or they'll complain about you. Really made me think since I was determined to give a legitimate reason for certain rules. Sometimes I discovered I was just controlling, and there was no legitimate reason!
Last edited by roses4lace; 01-07-2008 at 03:43 AM.