My son always whines and gets frustrated, plus more- Autism? - Autism Spectrum Message Board

luvs2bamama · 02-05-2008, 11:51 PM

My son just turned four and has an IEP for speech therapy because he is significantly behind. He is progressing slowly and people that know him well can understand alot of what he says but not all. He is speaking in 2 to 4 word sentances now. There is a 5 month wait until we can get our son in to be tested for autism. His symptoms are: stimming; he rubs his thumb against his ring and pinky finger, he rocks back and fourth from one foot to the other ocasionally but will stop if asked to, he flaps his hands when he is excited or scared, he is hyperactive, he tenses up his face and gets frustrated and angry alot, he makes weird (forced) facial expressions. He understands everything we say for the most part and will do as we ask most of the time. When he talks, alot of the time it seems like he is answering our question qith our question .. he says no but when replying with yes he repeats our question. Example: Do you need to potty? "No?? (in a question tone) or "Go potty" ..... Do you want a sippy? "No?" or "Sippy"

THE BIGGEST problem is his whining .. I know most kids whine but he is out of control. He whines 60% of the day and alot of the times he will say what he wants only one time and if we don't hear him he will not repeat it and will become angry and throw a fit. The other kids I babysit, older and younger, ask why he doesn't talk normal and why he is like that.

He does try to play with the kids I babysit but he likes to run around and stuff, he doesn't play imaginary games or directly work on a project with another kid. He is affectionate and he will look people in the eye. He is so so very sensitive and loves attention and to be touched/hugged; though he does not seem to be concearned when I get hurt or his baby brother is crying. Either he will cry or laugh or ignore it but he will not try to console. He has usually been pretty good with his 11 month old brother but recently he has walked up to him and smacked him on the back for no apparent reason and pulls his pants and socks off. For four years old this seems a little odd to me.

Sorry I rambled on, I am so confused. I am so sure that he is not autistic and I completely disreguard other peoples feelings of him being different, but then some days I'm not so sure. There are mixed professional opinions about his issues. What do ya'll think?

MOM23ANGELS · 02-06-2008, 07:55 AM

well, there seem to be some red flags regarding his behavior and you are doing the right thing by having him tested. i laughed when i read your post because my daughter refers to my son as "the whiner". he is 6 years old and on the spectrum. when he starts to whine about something i tell him that i don't understand that kind of talk and ignore what he is asking me for. i tell him to ask in a nicer tone and that's when he gets what he's asking for. you mentioned that your son has some speech/language issues and that could be why he whines at times. i know that with my son, because he has a speech and language impairement, processing the information and then forming it into a question/comment his probably a lot of work and exhausting. (kids whine when they are over worked or exhausted) but just like everything else, he has learned that he will not get what he wants by asking that way.

i will tell you this as far as a diagnosis. autism is not what will define your child. believe me it is a hard thing to hear. the dx will, however, get him services that he would probably not qualify for otherwise. my son has been in therapy for 5 years and has made amazing progress.

rebecca197334 · 02-06-2008, 11:06 AM

Hearing your story, Is like reading my journal. My Kyle is 4 and he does all that and more. He answers questions with strange answers, sometimes he just can't think of an answer so he makes one up. He doesn't know what to do with a toy, he tries to take it apart. He doesn't appear to be smart at all, like asbergers. Doesn't know any of his preschool learning. His behaviors are what worry us the most. He screaches and flaps like a parrot, and I can't reach him when he does that. Sometimes I can't figure out what he's doing or saying, and I think he's pretending, but not in a normal way. he's just not there with us. But in his own head. He gets so hyper that he destroys something, and seems surprised like he didn't plan that. He is so affectionate with adults, but takes his agression out on other kids. He only interacts with children, if he can be in charge. And they have to be baby size. He does bad things and grins at us, like a sign that he understands not to do it, but when he does it, it's like he thought it was a joke, and wants everyone to laugh. His sense of humor is not appropiate. I'm having trouble gettig him help, because he's affectionate and appears to interact when told to by strangers. he does good at following directions when he's scared. His anxiety is always going, and he refuses to talk sometimes. How do make sense of so many symptoms? There should be a screaning that tested for everything, so we would go in the direction for further testing. But no one wants to test him for anything. I'm frustrated too.

luvs2bamama · 02-13-2008, 12:49 AM

Thank you for your replies, it helps to know other parents are going through the same things. I hate not knowing, and I am so afraid of him being diagnosed when he really isn't because I heard a diagnosis can cause problems with getting lower insurance rates and getting life insurance. It's like... I know that there are things about him that arn't quite right but some days he can seem pretty "normal ( I hate to say that)" (except for the speech delay). Usually when he is tired or sick he acts the most "normal" which is sad. It's like his brain tries to hard and when hes exhausted it stops trying to hard and just reacts normally. Maybe he is just has ADHD? Ug.. I hate labels.

antiquemother2 · 02-13-2008, 04:52 AM

You seem to be looking for a clear-cut diagnosis in hopes of finding the right treatment? Diagnosis and treatment are a lifelong journey on the spectrum.

You could go to five different shrinks and get five different diagnosis' - every doctor has their own perspective.

The thing with autism is that there is no ONE definitive diagnosis and every case is unique because every person is unique, just like us NT's.

At age four you might be better off trying to figure out a plan for your son so he can adjust socially, have a good quality of life beginning now instead of worrying about pinpointing what makes him behave a certain way. Neurological disorders are like hunting for a needle in a haystack. Bottom line is he's hardwired differently; not wrong - just differently from the neurotypical world. He will never see the world through anyone's eyes but his own.

My son always sensed my frustration and then he developed severe depression as he grew older and couldn't adjust to the world around him. And I didn't have a diagnosis at all until he was 18. I just knew he wasn't getting in sync with the rest of the kids his age and making certain social milestones beginning with the simplest ones; like making friends and being accepted.

It's not easy raising a child on the spectrum if you expect someday for him or her to be just like the other kids. Not going to happen. I love my son for what he is.

If your son is whining and is frustrated, he's communicating with you.