Nearly four and not potty trained - Autism Spectrum Message Board

rose67 · 02-06-2008, 04:33 PM

Hi

Anyone out there can give me some tips with potty training a 4 yr old.

He has mild-moderate autism and I tried to train him last year in October and he made the connection of knowing that he has to go on the toilet but most of the time he either ran to the toilet but it was too late or did it in his nappy anyway. He didnt seem to be bothered with a wet or soiled nappy.

At daycare the other day the "manager" asked me if I was going to try to train him soon and I said yes in the next month or so. She said to me "you do realise that most autistic kids aren't ever toilet trained?" and I was mortified at this! Talk about having no faith in him before we even start. OK he has autism and it may be the case that he never can be trained but I think it was out of line for her to say that to me when I havent even really tried! So now I'm more determined to try!

Any tips for training a non-verbal 4 yr old please pass them my way!

Rose 67 down here in Oz!

datgrlstef · 02-06-2008, 05:53 PM

Honestly, if I knew the magic trick, I'd be selling it to make some money :P

My son turned 4 in Sept.
I've heard (and tried) the jelly bean trick (give them one if they use the potty), the target practice one (with cheerioes or whatever else), etc.. IMO, if they're not ready, they're NOT going to use the potty. I did the jelly bean thing at home, and it didn't work. Suddenly, it worked.. but only at school. Then, he was going at school, but peeing literally all over my floors. He still sometimes poops in a pull-up (sneaking one if he has to), but I think if it's not solid, he just doesn't know what to do.

Otherwise, one day (middle of last yr) his teacher told me that she wanted me to send him to school in big boy undies. (He was holding it for the 3 hours during school, so why not?) With me standing there, she told him that he knew he was a big boy, and that he should wear big boy undies to school the following Monday. Well, he's been wearing them ever since. He has not had any accidents at school, either. He rarely if ever has accidents at home now- unless he's too preoccupied to get to the toilet in time. He *usually* poops in the toilet, and only wears pull-ups at nap time (sometimes) and bed time.

Picali · 02-06-2008, 11:19 PM

Hi Rose,

Please doink the daycare manager on the head - children with autism are all different to each other and should never be lumped together as 'can' and 'can't'!!.

Scan Amazon for books on toilet training ASD kids, we used a great book which I can't remember the name of now, but I'm sure a scan on Amazon will bring something up.

Each child is very, very different. My little lad was a little like yours - wasn't bothered about wet or dry and didn't seem to notice if he wet or soiled himself (he's still the same now and will quite happily wee in his pants if there is something good on TV!). I kind of toilet timed with him - sat him on the potty after he had a drink, sat him on before we left the house, as soon as we got back and every 45 minutes to an hour during the day as well. Tiring, but it meant that every now and again we were lucky enough for him to do a wee in the potty rather than anywhere else and when it happened there was a big fuss and a Smartie for his efforts. It took a long time and it was hard work but he got there eventually. School need to do their bit so when you are trying something with him they need to do the same when he's with them. There are different methods so read around a bit and it's really a case of keep trying until you find something that helps. Poos took a lot longer to get to grips with and once he figured out he had some control over pooing we started getting a lot of poo pictures on walls, but that's a different story!!

Some children with difficulties might not learn to use a toilet I guess, but I'm very against writing skills off in young children - there are plenty of four year olds without asd who are still having lots of accidents!!

Good luck with it!

Janine

DannysMum · 02-07-2008, 10:51 AM

I reckon that if he made the connection about going on the toilet you are probably going to be ok.
My boy seemed to have no idea, and didn't care if he was wet or dry. School trained him at 5 and a half.
I'd tried and failed, and they said don't worry, they would work with him when it was time.
It's a difficult decision even with non autistic kids, to train or not to train, to wait or not to.

Good luck

DrewsG · 02-07-2008, 08:07 PM

Hi Rose,
Please doink her on the head for me too. Drew did not get potty trained until he was 4 yrs. old. We tried when he was 3 and 1/2 and it was just too much stress for him. He could pee pee but it was too much for him to go #2. Then he regressed and began peeing in his underwear. He covered his ears and said "I don't want to talk about it".

We backed off and tried again a few months later. He loved his big boy underwear. Then he said he did not want to be a big boy anymore. We hid his pull-ups. It took about 2 weeks before the entire thing clicked with him. He does very well. He was 5 in October.
Drew tries his best to please his teachers and Momie. He loves praise.

Just be patient and don't let anyone tell you that your son Can't to anything. Oh yes he can.

Good Luck and keep us updated.