outraged - Autism Spectrum Message Board

maebelle · 02-16-2008, 10:31 PM

My son was diagnosed with autism at 3 yrs old.He didn't speak words until he was 4.The sentences came slowly over the yrs...and even then it was difficult what he was trying to say.He attended special ed until he was 18.

He advanced during these yrs.He could speak clearly and write ,read etc...He had trouble with math.Although his social skills lacked he did communicate.He graduated from H.S with honors by the special ed criteria.
He could have attended H.S until age 21.Yet the promising step of advancing to a special rehab school to learn job skills were deemed appropriate.This special school had been advised upon graduation since he was 12.
A vocational Rehab specialist was assigned to his paperwork after graduation.

Basically we were put off due to a waiting list at this school....and then the state vocational rehab stated they lost all hard drive data....it was one story after the other...My son graduated May 07
We have been lead to believe he is on the waiting list.

Today...we recieve a letter that my son does not meet the criteria for this school.The reason being...He needs more specialized attention than they can give him.And that the Voc Rehab could help him explore other avenues.
Why did they wait this long to tell us...he could have already explored other options.
I have cried for hours.I am just so angry and feel so bad for my son.
He has really been handed down an injustice.He can live with us forever...yet we as parents will not be around forever....what happens to him then?MB

realistartinoz · 02-16-2008, 11:13 PM

I understand your feelings Maebelle.
All through our autistic children's growing needs and years there can be a rollercoaster of emotions, ranging from elation to severe frustration.
I hope you can all use this latest experience to strengthen your resolve, again, to find a solution, provide and assist your son with everything he needs and wants to have a fulfilled life.
I aim to teach my son all I can, with the assistance of others where necessary and where I can source it, to live as independent life as possible, though with the acceptance of the fact that he may and can live with me forever.
Not all avenues of 'assistance' out there will be what you either expect, hope for or they may even let you down, as you are feeling now.
Hang in there. Keep searching for what is the best eg., help, educational, voctional etc. area for your son and I feel you will find it. There is usually always the right solution/situation available to us all, though it can feel like a long and daunting energy and spirit sapping task to find it.
Where one 'avenue' lets you down, there is another which can be the one you wished you'd discovered earlier.
We have to work hard as parents and carers sometimes to ensure we do and get what we know is best for our children. We also have to sometimes endure (as can do our children) the 'gutting' frustrations in that lifes' journey.
Trust your instincts and don't place ALL your faith in the 'abilities' and promises of others.
Be your sons' best advocate. I'm sure you will find the best results and situation you seek soon.

I wish you well.

rebecca197334 · 02-17-2008, 12:48 PM

I feel for your situation. My son is still small. I worry a great deal about his future. That is both our right and our dismay as parents. There is so much red tape and miscommunication about so many programs. The most painful part being the realty that they just don't care so much for your son. Not enough anyway to do the right thing. My husband and I cannot afford private school or even the private therapies to help my son. Our school is so non comital. They are discouraging us from seeking an autism diagnosis and keep insisiting that nothing will matter because they are doing everything they can for my son. I have recently been obsessing in the isle of books a million and freaking out at the reality that my son too is not catching up. He is unable to participate in Pre K. And no one even wants to mention K. I will pray for your son. Sooner or later our children's teachers will realize the miracle that we've lived through our children. And hopefully get something done quickly. Good luck and never give up.