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Old 02-22-2008, 09:47 AM   #1
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jovins mom HB User
Unhappy I need help.... any advice please!

Hi, Im new to this so please be kind, I am a mom of 3 great kids, Jordan is 19 in college,he is doing great. Jovin is in 3rd grade and has the sweetest spirit for a boy, and Ellyanna who is 6yrs old and is an aspiring actress if ever I saw one! My 9 year old son(Jovin) who has pdd(diag.@age 3 or so) very high functioning and mainstreamed in school 3rd grade now- has recently had a drastic change in personallity, he has become very angery and has violent outbursts at the smallest of things, very frusterated at home(seems to build up from the school day and explode at home) even to the point of raising his fist to us as parents and recently to his grandmother. If you knew my son you would never ever imagine this would be posible coming from him. His teachers cant even believe it. He has always been so polite and well behaved and has been labled the kindest kid in class and on the bus. There has been no major changes at home or school, we are meeting w/ coucelors and teachers on reg basis and reg IEPs ect.. We have concidered having my daughter tested for ped.bipolar(she has fit the bill for some time now) and i have noticed that Jovin is also exihibiting signs of bipolar as well,... AM I ON THE RIGHT TRACK HERE??? Could he have been bipolar/pdd this whole time and we just were not seeing it?? Should they both be on diff meds/ wow i feel like a bad mom here.... I have poured myself into educating myself on all of this for the last 9 years and how could i have missed this or am i just borrowing trouble.. is he just going through typical pdd stuff and im in the "DEsert" again.. some of you moms may understand that.. the place where all the stuff you read just doesnt apply and you have to find you own way and just "get through it"... I just want them both to do well, I want to be the best support system i can be for them.. the school is always 1/2 hearted about it and sometime s the rest of my family is too.. its a double edge sword.. Today,i just want to PACK MY KIDS UP AND MOVE AWAY TO PDD/AUTISM AND NOW BIPOLAR TOWN..... WHERE EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS MY KIDS AND DOESNT JUDGE THEM AND LOVES THEM LIKE I DO.... please any advice would help... sorry this is so long.. (kids are both on resperdal and lexapro) just at night in small doses. Thanks so much in advance....From a mom who love her kids more than life itself... Kristine

 
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Old 02-22-2008, 07:55 PM   #2
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SherriEleano HB User
Re: I need help.... any advice please!

The only thing I can think of is to ask him, when he's calm, is why he's so angry. Make sure he knows that it isn't to punish, but to help. If he is able to tell you the feelings that well up inside of him and the thoughts in his head as he is becoming angry and aggressive, you may be able to tell if it's something he needs meds for or something that can be worked out with another type of therapy.

If you take your daughter for a diagnosis, then take your son. He must feel miserable if he's acting this way.

 
Old 02-22-2008, 10:34 PM   #3
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Picali HB User
Re: I need help.... any advice please!

Kristine,

I'm afraid I've no advice re paediatric bi-polar as I simply don't know enough about it but please, please [U]don't blame yourself and give yourself a bad time over this.[U]

I know as Mums we have in-built guilt where our kids are concerned but you have obviously been doing an amazing job with your kids and your concern and love for them is very clear. As you say, your children all see the various specialists, doctors, teachers etc that they are supposed to - if none of them spotted anything there's absolutely no reason why you should have done, so please try not to feel bad about this.

I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for you - it's taken me three years to get used to my son being autistic - I don't know how I'd cope with having to deal with the same thing all over again, but please try not to blame yourself for not seeing there might be another problem.

The bi-polar board on here is good, you might find some more bp specific advice on there, but please try not to beat yourself up over this - you sound like a fab mum and your kids are very lucky to have you.

Sorry not to have more concrete advice - will be thinking of you.

xx

 
Old 02-23-2008, 09:01 AM   #4
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Re: I need help.... any advice please!

Thanks so much for reply.. yes, we were able to take him to our family councling. ses. on Monday, it seemed to help him alot and he was able to tell us some of the things that were triggering the outbursts which we were quick to address, but it seems like it can be anything that will do it and it is really unpredictable each day... the dr.he sees didnt want to up his meds so we have to "wait and see" right now but i think taking him to see my daughters new dr. may be the answer to finding out if we missed something in a diag. for him as well, i would hate to not give him the help he needs from professls. and us as parents/ then again like i sd .. i dont want to "borrow trouble" w/ all that our family already has to deal w/ every day too. :I ** thanks so much** Godbless.. kristine

 
Old 02-23-2008, 09:32 AM   #5
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Re: I need help.... any advice please!

picali,,, Thankyou... your words mean so much.. its been a week like no other( I know i have sd that a million times since autism has entered my life) sometimes i feel like Im the Doctor/teacher/specialst/therapst and not so much the mom anymore... its like i have to put the mom hat on the shelf to collect dust most of the time(untill my college student calls home!) The mom kicks in when my child comes home from a day of bullying at school and says in his most amzing words that you never thought he would even say" my heart is breaking mommy, i feel it in my chest- make it better please" and then the tears flow, and you know all those things as mom/dr/therapst/austims spclst. kick in and you become one heck of a mom!*or you hope and pray you do anyway.* if the tears stop.. then you consider it blessing.** the funny thing is Jovin(9) and Ellyanna(6) we were told we would never have... Jovin is an 5 time attempted "invetro" baby and Ellyanna well she is just a plain "opps-what Im pregnant!" ITs been a long journey no matter how i spin it- but my marriage and family is still standing - Thank God- so we will keep moving forward and keep learning for these children to make it better for them, when we are gone, i will know they will be ok.- I will check out the bipolar boards.. just wondering* if there are lots of kids w/ PDD/AUTISM- BIPOLAR combo around and how comon that is.. could i have really missed it w/ all i have been through these past years??... Thanks.. ** by the way** IT took my a long time to come to grips w/ all of this too... but you know what .... you will find out** YOU ARE THE expert on your kids** and one day you will wake up and realize you are comfortable (even for just that one moment) with the life God has entrusted to you, because you are the only one who could been entrusted w/ the child you have- God believes in you everyday to love that child like He would- and to teach him what he needs to know about this wonderful life we have been given... Autism doesnt define us and our kids... we difine Autism... we represent it to the rest of the world, we can change how it is viewed, we can show them that we can teach our wonderful children everything they need and then some- to live amazing lives!- they are amazing children who will be amazing adults some day! I look deep into my kids eyes everyday... i see who they are.. and the world will too!*Keep up the amazing work you do everyday*.... God Bless..&thanks much.. kristine

 
Old 02-23-2008, 12:16 PM   #6
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Lillie3981 HB User
Re: I need help.... any advice please!

Hi Kristine:

This must be so tough for you. I have been working in the human services field for about 10 years and am 2 months away from getting a Masters Degree in Social Work. I have worked with individuals diagnosed with all three diagnoses you mentioned-Autism, PDD and Bipolar Disorder. What I can say is that I have heard that there has been a drastic increase of children being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, whereas before, doctors were hesitant to make this diagnosis for children. I'm not sure if there really are more cases or if it's a hype type of thing...kind of like ADD. It sounds like you've done so much for your children, which you should be recognized for. I'm sure this doesn't happen much.
It's hard to tell without more info., but I would also look into Conduct Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder, if you haven't already. Both disorders involve a lot of the negative behaviors you are now seeing in your son. Good luck!!!

 
Old 02-29-2008, 04:18 PM   #7
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Thumbs up Re: I need help.... any advice please!

*** wow** the "SALT" baths.. I read that on a autism website when Jovin was about 1 1/2 -2 years old and started them right away.. that is when he started even showing us that he could maybe "talk" to us and not just repeat words to us or scream at us. He started using "I" and "me" in the right way after about 6 months of the e.salt baths.. and yes they calm them down as well... but you know i have not done it for either of them- my youngest (elly w/ pos bipolar and sensory issues and jovin w/ pdd) in a very long time.. guess i need some epsn.salt from walmart?yes!.. a cart full! salty little prunes i tell u! I am a firm believer in that.. thanks for reminding me!! and yes the whole diagnosis of the day thing... i know.. i really dont want to fall into that trap... but at the same time i dont want to miss it either. I do see things, more in my daughter than my son but i am just taking notes, litterally on paper and keeping track of things and situations for recall if i need it. The med thing scares me, my kids are so smart, dont want them to fall into zombie mode at school, and right now- well i tell the Doc's we dont mess w/ meds or doses untill summer time, so I can really watch and monitor them at home w/ out school distraction/homework and social stresses, not to mention you never know what or when a teacher will give your child a hard time w/ behavior that may be medication influenced and your child may get the raw end of that deal. We are having another emerg. IEP for Jovin(3rd grader) next week and i am addressing alot of issues at school.. he has a new OCCUPational Therapist there.. who in my oppinion is there for the paycheck only and i really dont know how to handle it.... i have been to so many of these and here i am again feeling like a newbie,,, i really need to find my strong voice again and let them have it/with respect but they need to hear me.... OT is so critical to kids w/ PDD like Jovin. He can go so far w/ a great OT/ I have seen it... and we are seeing him slip, it may be where some of this behavior issues are coming into play... but Jovin cant voice it to us.. he just doesnt know how.. he cant sort it out in his head.. i have asked him. Jovin is having a better week however.. we are talking him through things more, and his daddy is working on communication with him too.. mom is much better at it but dad seems to be on board this week, Jovin points this out ever so bluntly to his father.. got to love autistic/pdd kids.. They WILL tell u like it is.. weather you are ready for it or not.. so you just better be ready for it!! cauze its coming!!! I just have to laugh.. others drop their jaw, but for a child i thought would never say"mom or I love you"... i love when he says blunt things.. or anything for that matters!!.. THANKS for all your encouraging words... us moms need them every once and a while~~whew..~~ God BLESS.. Kristine

 
Old 08-13-2008, 09:52 PM   #8
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Re: I need help.... any advice please!

Hi Kristen, I just joined and found your message about your son. My Daughter is experiencing the same thing. She has PDD and now were seeing wide emotional mood swings. We believe she is bi-polar too after a couple of rough days recently. Her mood swings started when she became a teen. She's 16 and is a big girl now, so it's hard when she gets physical with us. We are going to a psychiatrist and behavior specialist. It takes alot of energy out of you. Then you feel guilty when you don't have the correct tools at hand to we can help her. It seems like the psychiatrist and behavior specialist gives us tidbits of what we can do for her. When she is in a full on rage, it seems like there is nothing you can do except to try to calm her down, but that tends to escalate the situation even more. I'm in the beginning phase of finding out what we can do to help her with the PDD and bi-polar.
Tell me about the ebson salt baths? How has that helped your son? I hope you found out more info to help your son. God Bless and thanks Ken

 
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