Re: substance abuse
I'm sure you are correct, living with severe autism in the family must be something from which it must be good to escape for a while, i live with middling autism in my family and find that escape is good. In fact I have to make a determined effort NOT to hit the bottle once the kids are in bed. We realised that it was becoming too routine...
Have you got someone you can talk to, other than family - doctor etc? Is there help out there to help you, (i) battle against the abuse (ii) give you respite from autism?
I'm no good at advice - which is why I read this board, but I just wanted you to know that no answer doesn't mean that the autistic community that reads this board doesn't care... just doesn't know what to say. It's not a flippant issuing requiring a few kind words, it's serious, and I'm sure there are many many people suffering, but not wanting to admit, or not knowing what to do.
I personally wish you all the best, hunt down someone that is experienced in helping people to get off the stuff, if it doesn't work, find someone else. Don't give up.