It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Autism Spectrum Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-26-2009, 03:57 AM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Oldham
Posts: 4
Lisa Doherty HB User
In need of some advice

Hi my name is Lisa and i am new on this site this morning.Im a mother of Joe my gorgeous little boy who has autism he is 4 years old and i love him to bits to look at him you would think he was a little angel!His behaviour is getting worse and i dont know how much more i can take This morning i was so upset and in tears because he kicked of big time he didnt want to get dressed for school and he kicked me in the face stomach and arms when he acts like this i feel he doesnt love me which hurts alot when i eventually got him dressed i had to carry him on to his school bus kicking and screaming and i was in tears carrie the lady who travels with the children on the bus rubbed my arm and asked if i was ok but i was so upset i couldnt even speak he was still kicking when she tryed putting him in his seat and he smacked her in the face i felt so bad and appolligised to her she said it was ok my poor 8 year old daughter Alicia witnessed all of this and got upset i feel so bad on her because she is a brilliant little girl and she is so good with Joe she is so patient and kind with him and he even hits her i think im writting this because i just need to talk to someone who understands xx

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-26-2009, 08:30 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Brooklyn New York USA
Posts: 742
Liamsmom HB User
Re: In need of some advice

I'm sorry it's so hard for you. Does your son have any types of therapies in school? My son has Aspergers syndrome. He has sensory issues when he was young I could barely take him out side the sound of the world made him scream and scream and at times I thought I just couldn't take it for one more minute. Then I decided to do research on my own and try things to see what would help. I started doing things in small increments so he adjusted. I'm not sure what your son's issues may be but find some help. It seems from the way you write that you may be over in England they're are many board members here from your part of the world and perhaps they can help you find the services that will help. Read through the posts and try contacting them.

Just know that although it seems impossible now it will change some things get easier while other times new things pop up it's real important that you get to have a breather go out wiht friends every now and again have a drink and a laugh and remember yourself sometimes.

Chin up

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-26-2009, 12:12 PM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Oldham
Posts: 4
Lisa Doherty HB User
Re: In need of some advice

Thank you so much for getting in touch i am in Oldham which is a town in manchester england the only help i get with Joe is at his school which is a school for children with special needs i requested a appointment with joes pedatrition in january but shes that booked up we cant see her until march the 5th.I have some great friends and when i need to i do talk to them they are brilliant but obviously they cant trully understand what we as a family are dealing with.When he got back from school today he was very happy we sat in the living room and we got his toys and books out he wont sit with me when i read to him but i read outloud anyway and try and make it sound exciting!He did interact with me for awhile but he soon started throwing his toys and dvds around (we have joes favourite bob the builder and noddy dvds on the speaker next to th tv so joe can put them on when he wants because he knows how to use it!!) As a family it even hard to sit and watch a film because if we try joe will say bob on and press the open button on the dvd player so the film goes off so weve invested in a tv for in the kitchen so we can watch what we want!He carried on playing up until his dad got home from work and then we sat down for tea.He started feeding himself but stopped as usual so in the end his dad steve ended up feeding him.Joe didnt want to go to bed tonight he his getting more agressive and upset and i cant wait to see Dr howard because it hurts as a mother to see her child upset and confused.I wish i had all the answers for him but i dont ive been on the laptop from 915am till i had to pick my daughter up from school 245pm looking through so many websites. As the days gone on ive sorted myself out and im more possitive again but i know im going to feel like this again soon and thats what is hard knowing thats its never going to end but will it get easier i feel alot better seeing this site and knowing theres other people going through the same expierences and knowing that we can message people and get advice.

 
Old 02-26-2009, 02:05 PM   #4
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 98
DannysMum HB User
Re: In need of some advice

I don't know if any of this will help, they are all so different.....
We've found out that milk pushes our little boy(7) over into similar behaviour to what you describe. We also give him fish oils, which we believe calm him down. I, too, have had to carry him under my arm to the school taxi, he also had to go twice to school in his pj's! All I have to do is threaten this now and it kind of does the trick.
Like you I have a long suffering elder daughter(10) who's hair gets pulled mightily at times.
We don't try to do things with him if he isn't interested any more as this can push him into a rage. And recently we have discovered that time warnings are quite good eg " 2 minutes then put our clothes on" or "play then taxi", and make sure that we say his name and that he has actually realised that we are talking to him.
We really understand how you are feeling. Letting it out here has to help.
Keep in touch

 
Old 02-26-2009, 09:36 PM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 228
Mira11 HB User
Re: In need of some advice

Lisa - This age can be a very hard time and many of us have been through it. If your son is already in a special needs school, is there a behavioral consultant who you can meet with for a behavioral evaluation? Is there a sensory integration specialist at the school or in the community - this kind of occupational therapy can be very helpful at this age. Look up sensory integration autism and see if this might apply to your son.

ABA (applied behavioral analysis) has been shown to be quite helpful with behavioral problems. Do some research on this as well.

And lastly, a consultation with a psychiatrist might be something to consider for medications to calm his nervous system, either now or in the future.

Let us know how he is doing. I do know how you feel; we went a long road with my son, who is 21 now and it took a combination of all of the above suggestions to get to a much more comfortable place.

 
Old 02-27-2009, 06:24 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Brooklyn New York USA
Posts: 742
Liamsmom HB User
Re: In need of some advice

Lisa I forgot to mention and not that this is a criticism in any way but for me once I took charge so to speak and had a plan of how I was going to handle things I felt less lost. Granted there are still days that I feel like running from the house and never returning but I do feel much better these days. In America we have school plans called IEP's that they are to follow that involves therapies their to have etc. and if the child doesn't receive them you can do something about it also I have found that just excepting no for an answer doesn't help, calling every day to get an appointment, asking questions, and other things that make the Dr's take notice that you aren't going to be brushed aside helps obvoiusly do it with curteousy and tack. I've found that kepping a pen and paper handy when speaking to someone and keeping there name and number helps to refer back and say when I spoke with this one or that one they said..... whatever it is they said.Because so many children are falling on the spectrum these days I can only imagine that there aren't enough specialist on the globe to help in a timely fashion. But the other posters are right ABA therapy has proven to be very effective as has meds for some children you have to almost a scientist and try every thing from diet changes to vitamins to new therapies and find the combo that works best for your son . Be as patient as you can as it can take some time to take effect and sometimes it's so slow you don't notice at first.I have also found that medications effect my son differently that others he had a very bad side effect to allergy meds that made him very depressed and angry all the time and he actuallt had some hallucinations. Once he was taken off the meds he stopped the bahavior in 2 weeks.


Is you son verbal? Is it basically behavior issues?

I know that when my son thinks he should have his way and I disagree I let him know. I raised my son with the idea that just because he has some issues doesn't mean he can behave differently and last time I checked no every died from crying. To this day he bahaves differently for his father than he does for me cause he knows I won't take his bologna. His father always treats like he'll break if he cries and now my son walks all over him. If he screams pick him up put him in his room and close the door and do it over and over again until he gets it just like with any other child it's exhausting I know but now Isay to my sone please leave and go in your room to scream I don't want to be around you when your acting like this and he stops. I know my plan only really works if your child is verbal so if what I've just written is total crap and won't fit into your situation I completely apologize for the rant.

 
Old 02-27-2009, 02:37 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 228
Mira11 HB User
Re: In need of some advice

Lisa - I just want to add that I think this last post of Liamsmom is EXCELLENT. LOTS OF GREAT ADVICE.

 
Old 03-05-2009, 08:04 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Brooklyn New York USA
Posts: 742
Liamsmom HB User
Re: In need of some advice

Lisa today is your appointment yes? Please let us know what the Dr. said and perhaps we can all help you make head or tails of the information. Hope all went well.

 
Old 03-07-2009, 06:14 AM   #9
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Oldham
Posts: 4
Lisa Doherty HB User
Re: In need of some advice

Hello sorry ive not been on for a while its not often i can the meeting went well im starting a 12 week course at joes school after easter dr howard said its like a super nanny course!! it will help me and joe understand each other more and help me be in control joe is verbal but the school think he doesnt really know some words hes using and doesnt understand as much as we think he does but i dont agree he knows what hes doing and saying i think he plays on it at school he will say something like dont do that and look at me then he will do it (eg slam the door) then i will say joe no dont do that or dont slam the door he usually will laugh and do it again i have noticed that he will say something for me to repeat this week hes found it funny to purpossley knock drinks over on the table the last couple of weeks joe has insisted on taking 6 of his teddys on the school bus with him!!they didnt mind at first but on wednesday when he got home they said one of the children touched his teddy and he went mad and undid his seat belt and got out of his chair while the bus was moving they had to stop the bus and calm him down obviousley i understood this put all the childrens saftey at risk so we agreed he could just take 1 so thursday and friday i got up half hour earlier than normal so i could dress joe before his dad went to work so that he could help me in case he kicked me so joe wouldnt get disstressed and slowly took a teddy away without him noticing (i also told joe the night before over tea that he could only take one teddy to scool on the bus he started makin the noise he makes when he disagrees)so we ended up with 1 teddy and he started looking around so i said joe shall we go in the garden to wait for the bus with iggle piggle(teddy) and we did and we saw a cat and he liked it so i kept talking about the cat saying hes hiding wheres the cat gone so i had him looking around the garden for it and then the bus came and he got on it very happy and didnt notice that he only had 1 teddy!!!i was so pleased i have quite a good week with joe this week only one thing has been broke and hes back on his melatonin because we had ran out and it took 2 weeks to get another prescription so fingers crossed im feeling more postive and feel more in control thankyou to everyone for taking time to replie to me.

 
Old 03-07-2009, 10:01 PM   #10
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 228
Mira11 HB User
Re: In need of some advice

lisa - that's such a sweet story about the cat in the garden. you're a great mom and sounds like you're very tuned into your your son.

melatonin also helped my son a lot when he was little.

keep us posted about the super nanny course - bet you'll pick up a lot of good tips.

 
Old 03-12-2009, 08:14 PM   #11
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 22
Allfourit HB User
Re: In need of some advice

He loves you....he loves you so much. He sometimes just gets so frustrated as he struggles to find the right way to communicate his feelings. My son has Autism, he is also 4 and completely non-verbal. He gets very angry too and I struggle to maintain my patience with him but remind myself that he can not help it....his sensory issues are hard for me to understand and frightening for him. You are doing a great job, every one of us has days like you. Chin up. HE LOVES YOU. x. Michelle.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Trying to Quit- Need some help (Oxycontin) 2024 Addiction & Recovery 13 05-07-2011 07:50 PM
Help need advice shoegirl18 ADD / ADHD 7 08-17-2010 08:39 AM
I need serious advice and help - IM SEVERELY DEPRESSED Brkenhrt Relationship Health 21 04-05-2009 03:57 PM
Help/Advice neededASAP -Fentanyl detox, pain pat. abused meds will need meds in futre Confused089 Abuse Support 34 07-06-2008 06:33 PM
I need some advice, please gorgee Relationship Health 10 06-28-2008 08:43 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:53 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!