Don't really know the purpose of this thread

[Bens mom]

But I am scared.
My 18 month old has developmental delays in a couple different areas, and althougt he has no diagnosis at this point, one of the obvious possibilities is PDD/ASD.

I have been a wreck for a while now, and I don't know how to do it.

I am having a hard time getting over the discomfort and pain I feel when I have to obviously confront the situation when I see him alongside normal kids. It's just so hard sometimes.

I can't help but get lost in a lot of thoughts about whether he will ever have a friend, feel love, say mama, and if he will be a happy person or whether his whole life will be filled with the pain of knowing he's different.

The self-blame is getting to be so hard to handle for me.

Can anyone help and tell me how you made it through these tough times.

Some people keep saying that it's POSSIBLE he will catch up and never need extra help again, but the pessimist in me feels like they're BSing me. Does that really exist, or is that a one in a million kind of thing?

thanks for listening. Like I said, I don't really know the point of this post. All I DO know is that when my husband is out working, my mind goes too fast and my worries come out more. That's why I am looking to hear from people who have been in my shoes.

[Mira11]

hi and welcome - we all know the confusion and discomfort of realizing in the early stages that something is not quite right. it's a very difficult time. but i am here to tell you that in time it will settle down and get easier and easier and more and more accepted. what helps along the pathway is mostly getting your son into the right early interventions for him, whether it be speech therapy, occupational therapy, ABA therapy (applied behavioral analysis). I think personally that a really great speech therapist is the first and foremost thing to look into; this will be a great source of knowledge for you and also moving forward with help for your son. Get referrals from either the diagnosing professionals, or contact the local autism society in your area and see who people reccommend.

It is a good idea anyway to contact the local autism society to network and get info about general services, social groups, camps, schools, what the schools have to offer you, and good therapies and therapists. Your local school district is another place to contact for early intervention services. I believe now they start at very young to qualifity for services once the diagnosis is made. The director of special ed will be able to fill you in on details.

Nowadays many/most insurance co.'s will pay for the speech therapy and O.T. My son is 21 and we had to struggle to get payment, sometimes did, sometimes didn't. Now it's easier guidelines.

Once you get on the road to getting services and therapies and contact your local autism support group and get involved, you will get more used to the concept of OK this is what it is, now this is what we will do.

Please feel free to ask any questions.

[Liamsmom]

Hi there and welcome. You have just found THE place where you'll get support, make friends, and get terrific advice and information.

It stinks that we don't get a book of instructions. First of all yes it can just be delays. In the meantime just to cover all the bases you should if you haven't already have a full evaluation done. If more evals are needed I would suggest a nuerologist and developmental pediatrician.

Right now it all seems overwhelming but it'll be ok. Why don't you explain a little more of your concerns perhaps soeone around here can give some suggestions that helped them. My advice deep breaths.

[Bens mom]

Honestly, nearly 40 people reading this message and only two bothering to take the time to reach out to me doesn't make it feel like it's such a place for support, it makes me feel like a spectacle instead. : (

I don't know how to explain my concerns. I guess the closest and simplest way to try and explain is that I don't really feel like anyone out there gives me much hope about anything or any expectations whatsoever. They just told me there seems to be a problem and set me out to sea without a sail.

I started Ben with ST and OT from a private clinc (and private pay), but they were doing combined sessions, and I feel like it was a total mishmash and does not seem very organized, quite frankly, so I told them I don't want the mixed session anymore. He will have only ST for a little while and then bring back the OT in a separate session perhaps.

They also don't keep me abreast of what they are specifically hoping to achieve (or in any approximate time frame). I just can't help but be pessimistic about it, I guess. I mean how can you teach a kid who has no interest in sharing things with his mom to want to do so? It just seems like such a basic need that you cannot TEACH it, maybe I am going to end up with a kid that shares something with me not because he wants to and because he loves me but because he has been re-programmed to do that. Also, if he does not inherently want to imitate us doing things, how can you ever teach him that? It just seems like teaching someone to breathe for Pete's sake.

How can one hour a week of speech POSSIBLY even scratch the surface?

Some days like yesterday and today, when I am with him all alone for the whole day, I just don't know how I am going to get from start to finish that day.

We have a neuro appt, but it's not until the second week of Sept due to scheduling backups. I also feel like there's almost an AUTOMATIC diagnosis of something coming out of that because that's what they do. I don't think it even occurs to them that anyone walking through the door wouldn't automatically go into one pigeon hole or another.

Ben is kind of a different kid when we are out at the playground. He is SO interested in other kids there and stuff. He seems to most be disinterested here at home. Maybe boredom contributes to that... I don't know.

We are also facing issues at daycare. He goes twice a week, and he has been having some on-and-off biting issues there. The biting issues are one thing, but they have gotten me to thinking that maybe it's not the place for him.

I just don't know what to do. I am stuck here with nothing happening in a positive direction, and it's too easy to kind of spiral into despair about the whole thing...

[Liamsmom]

As for my fellow posters I can only imagine that being the holiday they are out and about.
As for no answers the Dr.'s like to remain cautious in a diagnosis. I believe my son has Aspergers, however, he hasn't been officially diagnosed and he's 7. My son didn't walk until 19 months and didn't speak until he was 2. now he has a 4th grade reading level and is going in to the 2nd grade. He had early intervention starting at 14 mths. He was 33% delayed in all areas. He received o/t, p/t, s/t & special instructions. Currently in school he gets p/t and o/t. I have him see a private psychotherapist to helpwith his anxiety.

Aside from the biting in school which most kids go through a phase and he seems like he's lookng to socialize. What are his delays? Does he shy away from strangers, does he hand flap, is he sensitive to loud noise? These were some of my son's issues.

Just remember one step at a time. ok?