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Old 11-06-2009, 07:06 AM   #1
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Post Parental Guilt

Hi there
Single mom of two autistic kids(one is starting puberty,yikes) anyway.Wanted to share a part of an article I downloaded from natural learning concepts....


On asking adults with autism “What’s the single piece of advice you would give to parents of autism spectrum kids?” the
answer is almost always a unanimous “Unconditional love and acceptance.” For just a moment, view your child’s
perspective. Almost every action gets corrected. Almost every behavior is modified. Method of play is considered
inappropriate. Self stimulatory behavior is often halted. Your child is constantly being told to think, talk and act in a way
that is foreign to his inner nature. It can’t be easy to keep one’s self esteem intact. I certainly advocate teaching as
many skills as possible to help your child function in life. However, it’s essential your child knows you believe he is
perfect just the way he is. It’s simply unfortunate that others might have difficulty understanding him. Your child should
intrinsically know the reason he’s learning new skills and altering his behavior is not because you want to change him,
but because it will help others relate to him, grant him acceptance and allow him to lead a more productive life. The
next time you feel guilty about not correcting your child’s behavior or mannerisms, remember that delighting in your
child’s unique qualities is just as important as teaching appropriate actions.

The next time the Guilt Factor impedes your life, simply acknowledge its presence. You don’t feel guilty because you’re
a bad parent. You feel guilty because you’re an outstanding parent. You’re a parent who loves your child dearly. You’re
a parent who is so committed to helping your child learn that you feel bad taking time for yourself. Your hard work,
dedication, energy and eternal giving are unbeknown to most and recognized by few. I acknowledge you and say “Well
done! I know how committed you are and what it takes. You are an exceptional parent and I recognize your greatness!

 
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