Re: Adult Autism!?
Sounds like you are on the spectrum anyway hun, but you are so adaptable and willing to learn that it has not set you back too much, from my perspective which is that of a mum of an autistic kid.
I think you are great and fabulous for achieving what you did, passing high school and getting a job involving customer contact. I think life is very tough for you, especially as you dont know why you feel and react the way you do, and it sounds like you are always beating yourself up. The best thing you can do (without health insurance) is to join up with an adult asperger (aspie) group in your area, do an internet search and you should find something.
Google Donna Williams; she is also an autistic female with an incredible talent for art.
Obviously you should try to get an official diagnosis, but you can only do what you can do given the fact that you have no health insurance.
You say you did weird things like sitting in a closet. My boy does this aswell. It is not for no reason, it is so that you body could feel defined space and this probably had a calming, reassuring feel. You were also able to shut out other stimulation to your senses like light and noise and odours in the closet; all good soothing things if you are susceptible to sensory overload, like my kid, like many folks on the spectrum.
I think you should read books on Sensory Processing Disorder, author Carol Stock Kranowitz or Sharan Heller - Too loud, Too Bright Too Fast Too Tight. These might give you an insight into why you react the way you do, and also ways to make you feel better.
Please be gentle with yourself. You have a different way of seeing the wold than Neuro Typical people, but if we had no folks like you in the world we would have not made the same advancements in art, maths, music, science or technology.
I hope you find relief and insight in your further study of the autism spectrum. Best of luck and big hugs
Last edited by Administrator; 04-28-2016 at 08:19 PM.