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Old 08-21-2011, 12:24 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2011
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glilje HB User
Help, my neighbour is Autistic

We have a neighbour who has Autism. She is pleasant and is very friendly and usually engages in conversation with the rest of the building. However, there have been several occasions where she converses with her family at inappropriate volumes at inappropriate times resulting in disruption in sleep. At first we cordially informed the family of this situation, only to result in tantrums, and our neighbour running away from home (she is a middle-aged adult), uttering threats towards others, and acts of vandalism. Her family has said in their own words, that she has a "handicap" nothing can be done about it. This has unfortunately become a constant issue, and the more we bring it up, the more she gets defensive and her said actions continue. The police as well as Canadian Mental Health have been looked to for advice where both have said that she needs to be moved to a group home where she can be under constant supervision. I believe that she functions very well if she were to stay with her family. Because of their schedules, it appears that they themselves cannot provide her with constant supervision she needs nor can they afford outside help. This post is just the tip of the iceberg, but if any light can be shed on this situation, then the rest of the issues can carefully be dealt with before it escalates and end up in court. Thank you.

Last edited by glilje; 08-29-2011 at 10:27 PM.

Old 08-29-2011, 08:40 PM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 55
Vicky446 HB User
Re: Help, my neighbour is Autistic

This is my personal opinion. You have had at this time 199 views and 0 responses to this post. You are on an autism message board with the heading...Help, my neighbor is Autistic. You know what, we have children that have autism. They are using their "handicap" as an excuse. My son's are affected by their disability daily. Is this an, its a fact. Wow, I usually don't get offended by much, but your post is offensive.

My middle son in particular can be a handful. I try very hard, and I think we succeed in having very good relations with all our neighbors. We have also worked hand in hand with our local police department to ensure our son's safety. We own our own home, so we don't have to worry about being uniform with others. That being said, if things are getting to be a huge problem try talking to the mom in a non-adversarial manner. If she is not there when some of these things are taking place...fill her in. If she is just a rude woman and won't handle the disturbance to the police. Maybe if they talk to her she will take action. I don't believe because my children have autism that they should be free of expectations. Unfortunately, they have to work much, much harder to try and fit into a world they don't quite understand.

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Old 08-29-2011, 10:02 PM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2011
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glilje HB User
Re: Help, my neighbour is Autistic

Hello, I am sorry to have offended you, as this was not my intention. I have only used terms that were used by the family themselves, but that is still no excuse for posting under frustration and should be more aware of the terminology used. I actually have family members with varying levels of mental disabilities, and do understand the love and effort that goes with it. I should have been more detailed, and mention that we have tried to speak with the family to see if we could come to an understanding and hope that we can come to a plan that we can all work with. Unfortunately, the family has decided to retract their efforts to work with us. This has caused several disturbances, even with the police and canadian mental health involved. Everyone that we had gone to for advice says that our neighbour should be living in a group home where she can be under constant supervision. This of course, is not up to us but to the family who chose to conceptually ignore the situation. As I mentioned earlier, the situation may be taken to court which we are trying to avoid. I had read other posts under this message board which are similar to my situation with a slight variation, to which they have had several responses. Again, I apologize for any offense I have caused, and I will be careful in the future. I do thank you for your insight. God bless..

Old 08-29-2011, 10:19 PM   #4
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 55
Vicky446 HB User
Re: Help, my neighbour is Autistic

Apology accepted =) I am overly tired tonight and probably have a shorter fuse than I typically do. Being a parent of a child/adult with special needs is a lifelong job....parents of typical kiddos for that matter too! Autism is a disability that unfortunately come with social deficits. If you have tried to work with the mom, and she is refusing to try to work this out...then you are left with no choice. My own kids have their idiosyncrasies that can be quite annoying at times. With autism, you have to teach these kids appropriate behavior. If she is allowing her son to act this way without supervision (not safe), and without teaching appropriate replacement behaviors, then do what you have to do. I always like to see things worked out without burning any bridges, but this isn't always the case. Hang in there and best of luck to you and all involved.

Old 08-30-2011, 01:23 PM   #5
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Re: Help, my neighbour is Autistic

I certainly hope that this can be worked out without going to court. If her behavior is a direct result of her disability then legally their is nothing that can be done. That is in the United States. I read a while ago about a man with tourettes syndrome. The neighbors go fed up with all the noise and took him to court. They lost. Under the ADA act it will protect people with disabilites . just becasue this woman is loud at times that can be bothersome does not mean she cannot stay with her family. Over the weekend my autistic son flooded the bathroom , accidently. WEll i had no idea until the downstairs neighbors told me, the water leaked into their apartment. It was a accident . I think behavior modification is the answer. Instead of trying to split a family up. They will have to take care of their daughter for the rest of their lives. Autism is a lifelong disability . I am not for placing people in group homes for minor behavioral problems. She needs to be worked with , not sent away.

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