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Old 09-25-2012, 06:48 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Greenville SC
Posts: 7
longsally HB User
Social isolation

My son is now 12 years old. He has always has odd behaviors and we knew he had adhd but his behavior and social skills were always off. As he got older, it became apparent that something else was wrong....the diagnoses is autism.

I am crushed for him. He wants to have friends but he is so immature that the other kids want nothing to do with him. He is teased at school, he has NO friends in the neighborhood, he is so alone and we, the rest of the family have felt the brunt of it as well.

We have had friends tell us that they feel his behavior might affect their kids so they don't want to be around us any more. We pass on parties where children are invited as we know there will be a problem by the end of the night. He cannot get along with anyone. He bosses everyone and when playing with others, sets up elaborate rules and then gets upset when no one follows them.
We have neighbors who will not talk to us and instead talk about us and base our parenting on this child.

He never gets invited to parties of any kind, even "friends" of mine who always invited him stopped this year....I am at a loss. He is in social skills classes but while he knows the rules, he cannot apply them at all.

WE would like to have friends over but they have kids and inevitably there will be a fight and my child will stomp his feet and act like a two year old. The only break my husband and I get from him is when he is at camp for a week once a year.

Even worse, my younger son, who is very popular at school misses out on a lot of things because of this. I would love to take him places and do things with him but if I do that, my older son would feel I am showing him favoritism. Does anyone else out there have this?

Last edited by longsally; 09-25-2012 at 06:49 PM.

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Old 09-27-2012, 01:11 PM   #2
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Greenville SC
Posts: 7
longsally HB User
Re: Social isolation

lots of people reading...but does anyone have anything similar going on?

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Old 09-27-2012, 03:11 PM   #3
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Location: Limerick
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dusky blue HB Userdusky blue HB User
Re: Social isolation

Yes Longsally my g/son is only 5 but I can see all that you describe ahead of him. At the moment he can run with his peers & have fun. As he gets older his little "oddities" will become more noticable to them. This is when the sadness of rejection really hurts him & us, that know & love him.

Last edited by dusky blue; 09-27-2012 at 03:15 PM.

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Old 09-28-2012, 07:12 PM   #4
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Greenville SC
Posts: 7
longsally HB User
Re: Social isolation

This is the thing. It was not such a noticable thing when he was younger. As his peers got older and more mature, the gap widened and it got harder and harder. I must tell my child how much I love him every day 50 times and remind him that he can talk to me at any time..........I hug the stuffing out of him.

I am also moving him starting on Monday to a new school that is specifically for adhd kids and there is an after school program that they have asked me to leave him in, whether he needs it or not as about 10 kids play together, go inline skating etc...... I was told that with their guidance, he WILL make friends at the school. I am nervous and excited for him, all at the same time.

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