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Old 11-21-2003, 01:09 PM   #1
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batmom2918 HB User
Back Pain And Sex

MY HUSBAND's L-5 is bulging, he is on 2vicodin every 4 hrs and baxtra x2day.
the pain is horrible.. he is having problems with impotence, now. he is very upset about this and i told him i think it was from the pain and meds. andhe should talk with his doc. am i right?
thanks for any help.

 
Old 11-21-2003, 02:12 PM   #2
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sioux-z-q HB User
Re: Back Pain And Sex

You are right!!
As a woman, when I was in a lot of pain and especially on pain meds, my libido was non-existent. I got married in June and had a microdiscectomy in September and of course, my new husband took it personal that I wasn't interested in any thing more than him cuddling me. As I recovered, felt better, and got off the meds, we were acting like newlyweds again.
Back pain can also be very depressing and demasculating because a man can no longer do his "man of the house" duties i.e. yardwork, carrying heavy things, ya know "manly things" that impress us females. It sounds caveman-like, but it's true unless you have a very sensitive guy who's in touch with his emotions and understands that it's okay for him to not lift heavy things if it hurts.
All of this can have a huge effect on his "performance" and he should understand that it's perfectly normal, but perhaps his doc could give him something to aid his soldier in standing at attention. Best of luck to you both!
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1996-herniated L5-S1-had epidurals x 5-relieved leg pain
2002-herniated L4-L5-had physical therapy and epidurals x 6-no relief
9/2/03-microdiscectomy at L4-L5
10/26/03-started experiencing lower back pain w/ leg numbness and tingling again

 
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Old 11-21-2003, 09:05 PM   #3
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nanna02 HB User
Re: Back Pain And Sex

Hi Batmom,

I have begun a post on this here, called " Anyones' sex life affected by pain or numbness?"

I bought the stories out of the archives , as I think , like myself , we need somewhere to go, vent or share what's happening in our relationships , concerning this very intimate problem. I hope you'll go look at the old posts, and maybe if you post your problems on there, it will encourage others to share and help YOU???.. I will talk more on here later about myself..

Also, look on Pain Management Board for similar posts regarding this , from me.., Belle.
Take care ..
love Belle NZ xxx
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Old 11-22-2003, 10:19 PM   #4
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Brooke79 HB User
Re: Back Pain And Sex

Hi Everyone,

I had a fusion 4 weeks ago (this wednesday) and i too am interesting in nothing other than a cuddle, and even then a gentle cuddle. I am bad at communicating this as i dont want to hurt my boyfriends feelings. As the doctor has begun reducing my pain meds i see this is going to go on for a while.

But then i think, well lets see, you've been stuffed full of rods,screws and bone and can bearly move, that doesnt make me feel very sexy at all.

I'm glad im not the only one.

Love and hugs
Brooke

 
Old 11-23-2003, 03:07 AM   #5
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nanna02 HB User
Re: Back Pain And Sex



No Brooke , you are not alone !!

We are ALL here for you and each other, so just keep watching out for all the named posts /Spinal cord . Pain Management and this one *Back..,..

I am bumping the "Old Post " up for you & others to read. a lot of reading !! Hope it helps?
Keep in touch, let's know what you think?..

Love belle NZ xxx
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Old 11-23-2003, 08:06 AM   #6
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SusanPLIF HB User
Re: Back Pain And Sex

[QUOTE=Brooke79]Hi Everyone,

I had a fusion 4 weeks ago (this wednesday) and i too am interesting in nothing other than a cuddle, and even then a gentle cuddle. I am bad at communicating this as i dont want to hurt my boyfriends feelings. As the doctor has begun reducing my pain meds i see this is going to go on for a while.

But then i think, well lets see, you've been stuffed full of rods,screws and bone and can bearly move, that doesnt make me feel very sexy at all.

I'm glad im not the only one.

Love and hugs
Brooke[/QUOTE]


Brooke,
I'm with you on this one... My situation is "slightly" different in that I'm not in a relationship right now. Though I'm 16 weeks post op and feeling way better, I'm avoiding accepting dates for fear of what it might lead to (in the bedroom) later on as a relationship progresses. I know this is silly, but I just don't feel sexy either really. As you put it, "you've been stuffed full of rods, screws, and bone"...and I really don't wanna risk being flat on my back again...by being flat on my back (or any other position for that matter)
I may feel better about this after my doc gives me a full release when my fusion is solid * which I expect near the end of the year. However... I guess I'll just need to regain the comfort level again somehow.
Glad we're all talking about this in the open. Its too embarrassing to talk with my surgeons about it. My libido is coming back, but my inhabitions about being in pain keep me from acting on it..
Hugs,
Susan

 
Old 11-23-2003, 08:07 AM   #7
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mculex HB User
Re: Back Pain And Sex

to all you women and men i to have a lot of pain and a non sex life but what everybody needs to understand is you all with back problems your back is about you and the sex is about both of you,so even if you do not feel like having sex or thinking about how sex should be what would be a good idea is not to forget your partner and there needs, i am sure that they understand what you are going thru but you also need to understand what they are not going thru (sex)so even if you feel like sex is the last thing on your mind you should help your partner out in taking care of him/herself.i know that not everbody falls into this but i myself have delt with women(since i am a man)with this and stayed away from talk and thoughts of sex to make it easy on myself but i am only human and it does get the best of me and it will drive me crazy one way or another.i hope you all understand where i am coming from (no pun intended).work togeather as a team and get thru this with one another.

 
Old 11-24-2003, 03:06 AM   #8
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nanna02 HB User
Re: Back Pain And Sex


Hi there mculex !

Thank you for your reply to Brooke re: women & men considering each others partners' needs , regardless of your own needs or feelings & pain.

I am so pleased you did as I would like to invite you to go over to

the "Spinal Cord Disorders" Forum about "Spine/Back Pain affecting your Sex life..?",
where there is post added in by a member called KeithEugene W..

he was, like you, also talking from a males' perspective, RE: -remembering it is
" for US" , not "for HIM,/(My husband )" when having intimate moments regardless of how I feel.

I thought it was really great to see his input.. & replied to thank him, as it gave me a chance PERSONALLY to give readers just a little "peek" at some of my private problems , ( not a lot revealed yet,) but I will be willing to share more once the posts begin to increase if needed.

So it may help you understand not just my and my husbands' "emotions" are affected but also that "physically" for myself , and some others, it is just not possible to have sex , the normal way..

nor is it just a " mind over matter" answer in many cases..

it is really a physical problem for some of us;

neverthe less , I STILL try to respond ( in a fashion), and am still learning , like I said over on the other posts..

This is what these posts may help with , I am forever hopefull!!
Thank You.
Love Belle NZ xxx
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Old 11-25-2003, 06:30 AM   #9
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nanna02 HB User
Talking Re: Back Pain And Sex

Susan. Brooke and All..

Just to say the posts on Spinal /Back & Pain Man. Forums , are beginning to open up about the pain & sex probs, which is great!..

If you look here on this Back post , there is a message from "Beebauser"
to me ( Belle) explaining ...she is not giving up sex becaue of pain , and tells what she does..
look for the post. .. helpful..?

Cheers.. Belle NZ xxx
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Old 11-26-2003, 05:33 AM   #10
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nanna02 HB User
Talking Re: Back Pain And Sex

hi All!
looking at how many Pain/Back people are on here , I felt it important to "BUMP" this up so they can see there is are many much needed messages and comments on sex/Pain /Spinal , Pain Management and this Back Forums, about this subject..

Lets' keep it going or it'll fade away..
Love belle xxx
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