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Old 08-12-2004, 09:39 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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scosterlund HB User
Freeeeked out

Hi everyone Steve Oster here
I go in for L5 and L6 partial disk removal the 19th of August. I have looked at a lot of websites and read a lot of your posts. I am 47 years old and for the first time I am truly scared. Ive seen the pictures and the cuts and the retractors and the possible problems. And and and I am freeeeeked out. I have numbness all down my left leg, pain all across the hips. Spasms that last hours. Does anyone have any real good stories of success out there ?
Help ! I hope I can go through with this
Signed
Freeked out in Spokane Washington State

 
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Old 08-12-2004, 09:45 PM   #2
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Stormy01 HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

This is a great website for experiences, procedures and support, but mostly those that had sucess are out having fun, not posting in misery on these boards. They have a life again and living it. They are not here telling us happy stories. I sure wish they were because it would make my choices easier. There are other boards though, and it's unfortunate that I can't post a link.

I wish you great sucess on your surgery, and I hope you go out and have a wonderful life.

 
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Old 08-12-2004, 10:17 PM   #3
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Location: Washington State
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NancyH HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Stormygate, that was cute and oh so true, if it worked they are out on the beach playing volleyball not here venting with the rest of us. To we do need more success stories, I just don't have anything but a big bad flub of one.

 
Old 08-12-2004, 11:15 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Posts: 184
Love2cook HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Stormygale and NancyH-

I have to totally disagree with you both. I have found more success stories and encouragement here than I ever imagined. I have read many posts where people going in for surgery have asked for good outcomes stories and many, many people have replied with their stories of being much better than before surgery. Now granted, I'm not saying that everyone is perfect after surgery. Many of us realize we may never be totally pain free, but the improvements for many are tremendous.

I personally look forward to sharing my "success story" to any who needs to hear one.

So Steve...

I can totally identify with you. I had horrible pain in my hips, lower back pain and numbness and tingling in both legs. My L4-L5 disc was collapsed. I had an Anterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion June 30. This is where they go in from just below the belly and remove the disc. Then place 2 titanium cages filled with artificial bone graft material. When I woke up from surgery, I no longer had the hip pain and my lower back didn't hurt. I was numb for a while and the meds were strong, but I truly felt better right away. My incision was sore, that was my biggest complaint!! And that pain was nothing compared to what I was dealing with before surgery. I am 33 years old and have 4 small boys, ages 6 1/2 and under. I am now 7 weeks post op and would do it again in a minute!!!! I feel like I have a second chance at life with a "new" back. I can now do things I couldn't do before surgery without tremendous pain.

I understand you're scared and you have every right to be. It's a scarey thing, having surgery. But I was to the point where I couldn't go on the way I was. And I'm so glad I made the decision that I did.

The reason I am not out "playing beach volleyball" is because I am still recovering and still have some restrictions. I have found enormous support here, along with some great friendships. I think you came to the right place. And about the "out having fun"... you betcha I'm having fun! I am enjoying my children and my family more than I have in a long time. I'm not completely pain free, but pretty close.

Are you having yours done anteriorly or posteriorly?

I wish you the best of luck and maybe you'll be back here one day soon, encouraging others with a success story of your own!!

God bless,
Elaine
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6/30/04 Anterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion L4-L5

Last edited by Love2cook; 08-12-2004 at 11:18 PM.

 
Old 08-13-2004, 05:08 AM   #5
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Join Date: Jul 2004
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Jenna'sMom HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Steve,
Ditto what Elaine said.

I am 3.5 weeks post op from and anterior/posterior interbody fusion. Cadaever milled bone replaced discs at L4/5 and L5/S1, injectd with BMP.
then on the backside 6 screws and 2 rods, holding it all together. I too would do it again.

I kinda freaked the week before surgery, went and got a second opinion 4 days before surgery. Needless to say, I went ahead with it.

I'm 44 have a 6 yo daughter, a girl scout troop, and a full-time job outside the home that I'm going back to in 2.5 weeks!

This surgery was a way to get my life back free of pain meds. Although I'm still on them during my current recovery. But 3 months from now, I hope to be taking nothing stronger than Aleve.

I will give you one piece of advice, don't push yourself too hard at the beginning. Both Elaine and I had minor setbacks at 2.5 weeks because we were doing too much (because we felt so much better!). Elaine has completely recovered from hers, and I'm following right behind. In terms of recovery "Slow and steady wins the race"

My best wishes to you for a successful surgery, and a speedy recovery. Everyone's here for you pre and post surgery, for moral support, and just if you need to vent once in awhile. Good luck.

Julie
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APLIF T4-S1 on july 19, 2004
Harrington rod T5 - T12 1982

 
Old 08-13-2004, 05:52 AM   #6
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Josephine66 HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

I totally understand your fear of surgery! I just had ACDF on Monday and I was soooo afraid the week before. It had been a long time since I felt fear like that. Now that the surgery is over the fear is gone and I am trying hard to be good and recover quickly, but I'm sure glad that waiting part is over! Good luck and take care!

 
Old 08-13-2004, 08:31 AM   #7
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: ontario
Posts: 476
out2lunch HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Hi Steve, welcome aboard!!! You've come to a great forum, where you'll find plenty of compassion and support!!
Surgery's not an option for me, though I'm not sure I'd take it if it was LOL!! I do want to wish you luck with yours though, as it sounds like it's just what you need!! I can completely understand why you'd be nervous too, 'cause this isn't a minor thing to do! I'm sure more members with success stories will be around to help calm your nerves!! I wish I could be one of them, but I don't have any experiece in this department haha!!
Anyway, hope to get an update from you soon, hang in there, and take care!!

 
Old 08-13-2004, 08:52 AM   #8
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Stormy01 HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Elaine and others,

I'm sorry. I guess I never read your posts of your sucesses! I'm fairly new to this board, and all I can say is Congratulations! and I am green with envy. But you have to admit that most people are [I]not[/I] posting "OH I got better!" stories here. They are posting their fears and hopes and dreams and seeking support and love and caring and information. I'm glad you are here to proove that I'm wrong in that not all those that have made huge strides have gone off into the sunset, leaving the rest of us here to wonder.

I apologize most profusely as it was never my intention to naysay you or anyone. I pray that when my turn comes to go under the knife, I can be as generous and return to these boards to encourage as you do.

Thank you so much.

/hugs

Stormygale

 
Old 08-13-2004, 09:31 AM   #9
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Location: ontario
Posts: 476
out2lunch HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Stormy, there's no need to apologize my friend!!! There's definitely more unsuccessful surgery and fearful members posting then successful ones, you weren't wrong there!! There are a few successes, thank god! Without them, we'd never know if it was possible LOL!! Take care!

 
Old 08-13-2004, 12:47 PM   #10
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scosterlund HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Hi everyone
Thankyou very much for the positive result stories. I am supposed to be the rock solid tough guy / dad / production manager / leader of the pack type. However I have found a few gaping holes in my "Get It Done" style. Its called fear. The thought of someone drilling into my spine, and digging around for the problem, wilts me like a water starved plant in mid summer. My dad just died 6 days ago and I got laid off from my job. Whine Whine -- Sorry a little down today I guess. I am laying here doped up on Hydracodone and Darvecet wondering when I will get my life back. Pathetic I know. Thankyou all again for your efforts.
Steve O Well time for another painful walk to the restroom God help us

 
Old 08-13-2004, 02:00 PM   #11
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Stormy01 HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Oh Scosterlund, you sound like you need a hug. I think I need one too after just getting into a huge fight over a stupid issue with my mother. I want to eat more medication, because the weather is making my back scream, and between that and my mother, well, I know how you feel.

My mom is old and not all together with it anymore, but she sure can twist the ol' guilt screws when she wants to. She's a master, but I put my foot down and said "NO." and she called me the most unforgiving and meanest woman alive on the planet. That sure will make your day. Eh? I'm a monster, and she's sorry she ever had me.

After dealing with all I've had to deal with these last four years and my pain being so bad today, it's a wonder I didn't say something unforgivable. But I didn't. But I do think I'll take some break-through medication. Maybe if I don't hurt so much, that will lighten my mood.

Now here I was going to console you and ended up having a lovely pity party instead. Forgive me all. And especially Steve, who's thread got hijacked. The thought of surgery scares me right out of my toenails, but I know it's something I have to do if I am ever going to have a life again.

I pray we all get better.

 
Old 08-13-2004, 02:08 PM   #12
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Love2cook HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Steve,

I just want to say you have every right to be "a little down" or even a lot down! I'm so sorry you lost your father! And then to be laid off from your job on top of that... You are in my prayers! Please know that you are always in good hands with us here on this board. Many of us understand the pain you're in and have been there, or are there now. I would be willing to bet that no one here would ever call you pathetic!

Pain meds sure do help but I know for me at times, it gets a bit depressing to have to take yet another dose. I am now to the point where I only need pain meds about once, maybe twice, a day. I consider once a day pretty good for 7 weeks post op.

Please just take care of yourself right now. Don't feel so pressured to be all the things you listed. If you are in pain and need the rest, just listen to your body.

Keep us posted and let us know how you are doing, physically and emotionally. I think I speak for all of us here that we care about you!

Elaine
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6/30/04 Anterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion L4-L5

 
Old 08-13-2004, 02:13 PM   #13
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Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Posts: 184
Love2cook HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

And Steve,

You originally started this thread to state the fear you were having about surgery and ask for those of us that have had good outcomes to share those with you. Well, Jenna'sMom started a new thread today asking fellow board members to post their success stories. Keep checking that and hopefully it will stay on topic and you can be uplifted there.

It's called "We Need Some Success Stories".

Elaine
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6/30/04 Anterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion L4-L5

 
Old 08-13-2004, 05:29 PM   #14
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scosterlund HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Steve O Here
Thank you all for your encoragement. I do feel better knowing that there are others who have made it through this, or at least have had some significant improvement. I think these pain meds are getting to me. When I read your responses I cryed like a kid. For the first time in my life I am no longer the "go to guy". And the last real
"Go To Guy" in my family was my dad. He's gone and I can not bring him back. He was 85 and a tough old bird. I loved him more than life. I made it through the funeral but now I am jello. Caveing in on all sides. My back is killing me, I am full of doubt and loss. I feel like an idiot. I am crying so hard I cant even see the screen anymore. I think the dam has finally broke. For the first time I am at the mercy of a power I can not control. -- Did I just say that -- ???

For crying out loud I don't even tell people -- I know -- this stuff.
I can't belive I am saying this stuff I feel embarrassed I am crying so hard I cant see the screen anymore.

Please forgive me for this ridiculous ranting -- Ill stop before I even make my self sick
Steve O
Out

 
Old 08-13-2004, 06:08 PM   #15
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Jenna'sMom HB User
Re: Freeeeked out

Steve,
Keep crying, it will come alot, and after time you'll on cry with certain triggers. Losing a parent no matter how old they or you are is devastating!!! You need to experience the grief to get on with life. What you are doing right now is the healthiest thing you could do for yourself. Sometimes it's easier to unload on a bunch of very caring strangers than those that are closest to you. I'm so glad you found us. I'm so sorry you have the added pressure of your back pain.

We're here, you cry, vent or laugh and tell stories about your dad.

Take Care,
Julie
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APLIF T4-S1 on july 19, 2004
Harrington rod T5 - T12 1982

 
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