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Old 08-25-2004, 04:44 PM   #1
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Angry very angry, last one I promise

I know I post a lot of threads, but it is easier for me to start a new one when a new issue arises, than to just go off an older one.
The more I think the angrier I get at my dr. You know he wouldn't even let me tell him what I was feeling????? He didn't ask about my previous bulge and history there? HE said the pain is not nerve pain and it is not coming from my low back, but from my neck-UH HELLO! I have had this pain for almost four full years, except for the eight month period after surgery, before I reinjured it. How can HE tell ME, the person who lives with this that it isn't the same pain as before??? I have neck pain, I have things that relate to the neck, but the low back pain is EXACTLY the same and worse than it was before surgery, when I had a BULGING DISC in the EXACT same place!!!!! He said my leg pain is NOT from my low back and that it is all from my neck. Well, and He didn't even discuss the stenosis or the annular tear with me, or what to expect from a stupid SPUR! As my dr, shouldn't he discuss everything with me?? Why wouldn't he want the whole picture? Can a PM clinic talk with me about the other diagnosis the MRIs showed? My guess is no. I am sorry, I am so mad at him, and I heard he was good. Nothing in my meeting with him made me think he is a good dr. I understand needing to cover all bases with the ESI, but when I said I didn't want it b/c it was so painful and didn't work last time, he basically said he couldn't do a thing for me then. I feel like he just washed his hands of me and sent me to be someone else's problem. No good luck, no call me, no I'll see you in a month. No mention of a follow up after I see PM-NOTHING. I am angry and for the first time in my life, DON'T agree with the doc.

I know I am a pest, but I have no one else who understands. I am bored at home, I have no friends in this stupid city (they are in other states), my family (mine) are 1800 miles away. I hurt, all the time.see, now I am crying AGAIN. Please, any comforting words I need right now. I am so tired of dealing with this.

ONe last question, at what point do you reconsider the dr you see? If the PM thing doesn't work out, do I seek a second opinion?

This makes me feel better to get it out, so I can see it. I need to copy this and start a journal I think. Get my frustrations out on paper. I appreciate everyone's help.

Last edited by Administrator; 08-27-2004 at 12:13 AM.

 
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Old 08-25-2004, 04:55 PM   #2
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cookie51 HB User
Re: very angry, last one I promise

Hi Mel,
This the board to vent, I hope you feel better. I know your frustration, these drs. only know you when you say yes to surgery, it drives me nuts. We know our bodies, and we know where it hurts, and when they say no, thats not the problem they want to write us off. I think you need a second opinion, dont give up because of you dr, sometimes people have to go to several drs. before they find the problem. Hang in there, I hope all goes well for you.
Have a good night
cookie

 
Old 08-25-2004, 05:23 PM   #3
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

the biggest prob? I have the MRI that shows all the problems, and it isn't that I want surgery NOW, but he wouldn't even discuss it with me. UUUUGGGGHHHH.
(large bulge/stenosis at C5-6; small bulge L4-5; medium bulge/annular tear/spur at L5-S1)

 
Old 08-25-2004, 05:24 PM   #4
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

oh golly cookie, thank you for your kind words

 
Old 08-25-2004, 06:15 PM   #5
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

Hi Mel,
Dont give up, get a second opinion, I think if a dr. had the pain that we have to live with, maybe they would be singing a different tune.
Hope all goes well
cookie

 
Old 08-25-2004, 06:32 PM   #6
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

Mel,
That must be hard for you not to have friends and family where you live. Part of your problem may be depression. I am not suggesting clinical depression, but depression from frustration. If you find something that you love to do and it will take your mind off of the problem for awhile, then you should go out and do it. I find that I love to shop when I was was in pain. It took my mind off of the problem as well as getting in a period of walking. I would shop in this huge thrift store for hours and then leave, not spending anything. I was painfree for those hours and I met a lot of people who didn't know anyone and who were out just to look around.

Call your insurance, find a primary who will see you, take your MRI with you and any medical reports. Have him refer you to a Neurologist that you have not seen before and ask for a reading. Take a notebook. Make him take out charts and the model of the spine. Tell the person who sets the appointment that you need a double slot of time.

Tell the doctor that you expect to find out everything that you can with this visit as the other doctors just brushed you off. Tell him that an ESI is not an option and then get him to give you an EMG.

The tear will take time to heal. That you just have to wait out. It is painful. The pain could be coming from your neck. It could be referred pain. I am not expert. As for the bone spur, that is a call that you have to make, to have it out or not, they grow back. I had one out, and it is back. I did get five good years though.

Refuse the ESI. If he says that he can't do anything for you without doing an ESI, tell him that you will okay it with your insurance co. No one makes anyone get one, it is just part of a process of elimination. My husband refused his and went straight to the EMG. We knew that it was a bone spur interferring with a nerve. We saw the radiologist report. An ESI was not what we were looking for. That would have only been a temp fix at best.

 
Old 08-25-2004, 06:58 PM   #7
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

Mel,
Injured Betty makes alot of sense.
Feeling cut off from friends and family can make matters worse.

My pain was referred too. And at first I wouldn't believe it but it was true.

Find yourself a doctor who listens and you feel comfortable with. But you should know most orthopeadics/nuerologists don't have very good reputations as "people persons." My doctors people skills suck, but he has great hands, that's why I put up with it. I'm 5 weeks post-op from my fusion and feeling much better . Knock on wood..

Good luck.
Julie
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APLIF T4-S1 on july 19, 2004
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Old 08-25-2004, 08:59 PM   #8
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

oh thank you. I am on Zoloft right now for GAD. I will be flying to MO to see my family next weekend. That will be good. I will also be bringing back my Chihuahua puppy, I have been sad without a dog in my life, I know he will keep me busy and get me out of the house. I love my cats, but you know how cats are
I know what you mean about that kind of md and their people skills, I have seen three now, but this one was the only one who treated me "badly". So far my MIL an RN and my dad who is also in healthcare, both agree with the second opinion. So does my hubby, which REALLY helps.
I agree that some is probably referred pain, but it feels just like it did when I first had the injury, which resulted in my surgery. I can't ignore that. I like the suggestions you have made above. My dad also said to try and forego the injection, he has had patients who also say they just hurt and didn't help, as mine was the same way. I feel better now that I will be going in a different direction.
Now, this question: Do I still go and see the Pain Clinic???? The main reason to go would be only for the ESI, I still don't know if I can go with that or not. I haven't decided. My MIL suggested I just explain to them how terrified I am of the injection and how poor my last experience was. I dont know how to follow up with that one.
I am going to get a list of specialists under my insurance plan (luckily I don't need a referral) and take that list to my work and have my rehab drs I work with tell me who they would suggest. They would know good drs since they are the ones that rehab the back patients after they have sx.
Another question: How can I get info on the dr? Can I look up credentials online??
Well, thank you so much again for all your help (everyone). Hopefully I will finally get my definitive answer soon.

 
Old 08-26-2004, 04:54 AM   #9
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ltedeschi HB User
Re: very angry, last one I promise

ALways, always, always, get more opinions. Any good doc will suggest it or at least be ok with it If they are good docs they know they have nothing to fear. You must trust your doctor. In todays technology there is no need to see just one doc with only one option and still have so much pain. try everything then if no one can help learn to deal with the pain. You must lose the frustration. This will happen when you take your body and care into your own hands not the docs. Only you know your body
Good luck
How about a visit home with family for some peace of mind and support? Is this possible?
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Old 08-26-2004, 07:38 AM   #10
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

Hi mel,

Sorry you're having such doctor troubles. Aren't they a bunch of condesending arses? Well, I guess they can afford to be when they make seven or eight zero's a year, and have a back-log of 300 patients to see with more coming every day. No, I'm not defending them. I left my doctor when it became apparent to me that she couldn't give a rats *** about me or my back problem. I then found an extremely wonderful doctor at (of all places) a pain clinic, who put me on to other specialists who've been excellent. I also have a new Primary Care due to the fact that he was doing nothing for me and refused to help me in anyway, so I switched to a new doctor in the area who is wonderful, and actually cares so much she called me today to see if the new medication (Avinza) is working better over the Oxycontin. That shocked me.

But mel, at least I'm not as alone as you are. The fact that I have family all around me to help me out is a huge asset, and one that you are without. I'm glad your getting your puppy, as I have a Yorkie puppy (5 months) and there isn't anything quite like a puppy slobber kiss. hehe. She also keeps me on my toes and I need that to keep me moving or I'd turn into a slug who did nothing at all except lie in bed. Although with this new Avinza drug, my head is so woozey and foggy I feel if I turn my head too fast I'm going to leave my eyeballs in the back of my hair. I suppose I'll get used to it, but I don't think I'll be driving anytime soon. /sigh

I'm hoping you find that really good doctor that is going to send you on to others, because not all are uncaring bastids.

In a lot of States, if you go to the government webpage, you can often find a listing of the registered Doctors in your State, along with where they studied, what special fields they've gone into or papers they've written. It also shows what (if any) benefit they've been to the community, (So and so donated $10,000 to the building of the new Library in "his home town,") and also how many have lawsuits pending against them. I've got the one for Mass Bookmarked. When you get to the Texas website just go down to the bottom where is says "site list" and you can probably find it from there. Otherwise you have to go through the board of medicine in Texas and all the mumbo jumbo to find it, if they have it. Most doctors object to this and I don't know if Texas is as progressive as Mass when it comes to this kind of information. Good luck in your search though. I'll cross my fingers for you!

Last edited by Stormygale; 08-26-2004 at 07:41 AM.

 
Old 08-26-2004, 10:27 AM   #11
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

luckily, I have my husband, but I am still by myself for nine hours a day (I can only sit and watch animal planet and discovery health for so long). I appreciate all the support I have gotten, it helps so much. I am going to start my search today for a new doc. Even if he says the same things, I will feel better. I just hope I get one who is willing to listen. I don't think the other doc realized how long I have been dealing with this, and that I am a veteran when it comes to treatments. But, that is his own fault. If he had just listened....
Well, I am going to hang around here for a bit then start my day.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

 
Old 08-26-2004, 02:11 PM   #12
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

Hello,I post somewhat in between here too... I feel your pain, I too, am alone, no family nearby and just moved to a new home in the mountains. I am suffering with the back troubles and now severe arthritis in my feet and hands, oh well. I get some solace from posting if just to vent... I wish you well and don't feel bad about posting, it helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't get me going on the healthcare system lol. I've surcombe to no meds and a few beers, maybe not the best thing but hey , it makes me feel better!
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Old 08-26-2004, 05:36 PM   #13
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

Hi Mel,
Just to let you know, I have heard about a women that went to 5 drs. before she found the right one that knew what her problem was and took care of her.So dont give up, find the right dr. that you feel comfortable with.
take care
cookie

 
Old 08-26-2004, 08:01 PM   #14
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

Twenty years ago, when my brother had two true herniations that you only see in textbooks, he literally went through 13 Neuros and 18 Orthos and it wasn't until he was the feature presentation at a convention of over 60 doctors that he finally got the doctor who did a double fusion (which was extremely cutting edge back then and very risky) and fixed him. He nearly died, but he didn't, and now looks like a 6'3 Sylvester Stallone from working out. Don't ever give up hope. I wish I had his fortitude.

Everytime I'm on the brink (like lately) I think back to what my twin suffered through and I'm so happy for him now. He has a great job, a wonderful woman and just bought their retirement condo in Florida, so it will be all paid off when they retire in 10 years.

Try to be hopeful. I'm still trying....

 
Old 08-26-2004, 10:13 PM   #15
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Re: very angry, last one I promise

stormy, now THAT is an inspiring story. Of course, not the number of physicians, but how well he recovered. Do you agree, that the younger a person is, the better chance they have of recovering well from a major surgery like "double fusion"? I know that surgery is always the last option, but lately I can't help but want another one. Why? I had such good results the first time. Had I not persued my CNA, I would not be here right now, and I fully believe that. I would rather have surgery now, risk the 50/50 chance that I will be better, when I am young and able to heal, than when I am fifty and not able to bounce back quite as easily. I would risk the chance to be as close to pain free as possible. If it didn't work, I wouldn't be far off from what I am now.
I have worked with all ages of rehab patients. From spinal cord injuries (quads and paras), stroke, Traumatic Brain Injury, COPD, multi-traumas, knee/hip/shoulder replacements, and of course, back surgeries. And if I had to say and believe one thing, it is that the younger the patient, the better they healed. The older (by that I mean above sixty) back patients just seemed to give up, or didn't have the "energy" to get out of bed and go to rehab. They were the ones we had for months and months. The younger ones seemed more willing and able to get better and were out in a matter of weeks.
This is my own personal opinion, but I think stormy, that your story upholds this thought of mind. I also know quite a few people my own age who have had fusions and other surgeries, and they are doing great. They are having babies, going on vacations, enjoying life and for the most part, the key words most part, are pain free. I would expect to have pain, I have accepted that. BUT, I am not willing to accept that what I have right now cannot be fixed. I would rather risk it, than never even try.
So, how crazy am I now????

 
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