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Old 10-14-2004, 10:36 AM   #1
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Single, how are you all handling disability?

I am beginning to think I will die alone. I have had 3 failed marriages so why do I even want a man? Well it sure would be nice to have someone to help me, errands, yard work etc. or just a hug. I have found the internet dating is not the way, once I say I am on disability they run. I also started AA, I was getting too reliant on booze for pain relief but more depressed. Now it seems a double wamy in the dating scene when I say I don't drink! go figure, try to help myself and turn off a possible date? I know, if that's what they are looking for I don't want them anyway. Part of me likes the fact of no man around, atleast I can stay in my pjs if I want, or not cook etc. So, guess I answered my own question, single isn't so bad. I have met some real nice people at AA, and finally have place to go, even dinner out! and that's good, cause there is no obligation, guilt etc if I can not make it. Guess I just need to learn more about being alone and maybe even liking it? How are you singles out there handling disability?
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Old 10-14-2004, 11:02 AM   #2
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Re: Single, how are you all handling disability?

It sounds like you have made a good choice in going to AA and at the same time making it possible for you to meet new people. The people that you will meet through AA are going to have at least one thing in common with you. Me, on the other hand, have decided that I need to figure out how I can take care of myself and my four children before I can even think of having a relationship with a man. I'm sure I have several issues, that do not have anything to do with my disability, that have helped me make this decission. My ex of almost 17 years has left me feeling like I cannot take on the responsibility of involving myself with another "adult child". I can not take care of myself and children let alone add more to my plate. I am not saying this to indicate I feel all men are "adult children", just to say that I am having a very difficult time getting through the issues that make me feel like this. I do have interest but cannot get myself to move forward. I'm still trying to get my insurance company to make it possible for me to do things for myself. The pain, inability to do things, and stress from working with all the people who have the authority to make or break me, seems to be all I can handle at this time. I wish you well.

 
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Old 10-14-2004, 03:17 PM   #3
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Re: Single, how are you all handling disability?

DB, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all this and raise your children! I know how hard that can be! Mine atleast are grown and gone, over 2k miles away. I wish they were closer to atleast "help" but they have their own lives now. I can't imagine how hard it must be to care for the kids while in pain! I did when they were younger, but my hardest days started after they were gone, back troubles started in my early 20's, now 48. I wish you all the luck and stay "focused" on the good days to come! It seems the best results come from the worst suffering, sad but true. I hope your ex spends time with your kids? family near by? I don't blame you for not wanting to add to your plate! that's what keeps me at bay...afraid of trying to pretend I feel ok, or doing more than I should for someone else, atleast now I can chart my own course. God bless, and I pray things work out for you!!!!!
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