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Old 04-20-2005, 06:33 PM   #1
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schooldriver HB User
Dont think I can take much more

PAIN ITs starting to be more and more life altering and Im done. Just cant handle not being able to do anything anymore.Im doing everything the doctors tell me to do ie;lose weight exercise,.That will take your pain away they say!!! YEAH Right THE LIARS. Sorry to vent but its frustrating.
Im only 38yrs.old and Pain is ruling my life. Even had to go to the ER last week couldnt get it under controll it was so bad.(at least they believed me though).I just dont know what to do anymore.Im tired of taking pills just to be able to move.The fricking heating pad and the ice packs just arent cutting it anymore. Im not depressed Im POed. Sometimes I cant help but think WHY ME.I know that I would never wish this on anyone and I know that their are people who are worse off then me and cant help but wonder how they do it,I just cant see spending the rest of my life with this.Guess I have to get back into counselling to learn to deal with it Sorry this is so long just needed to get it out

Thanks for letting me vent.
Please have a low pain evening and take care


Barb

 
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Old 04-20-2005, 06:53 PM   #2
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Kari7171 HB User
Re: Dont think I can take much more

I am so sorry for your pain. It is terrible to have to deal with that. I am 34 and have been dealing with it for 3 months now almost. Just when it seems to get better something causes it to get worse again. I have a cold again for the second time in the last month and it really seams to make my back hurt a lot worse when I am sick. I can still walk around but it's life altering like you say. I cannot do the things I once could. I can walk not run. Somedays I can sit at my job without pain while sitting but some days like today it really hurt. I know how you feel. I had a day like that where I almost called 911 but I was afraid that they would try doing emergency surgery so that scared me even more because I thought that would be worse pain. I know more about it now though and that they would give me pain shots like my GP doctor did. Try to hang in there. I know it's tough. I did hurt myself about 12 years ago and had back pain for a year. It went away completely and I was able to run gain and go sledding and anything I could do before. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will be like that again this time and I hope you get better too.

 
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Old 04-20-2005, 07:44 PM   #3
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Quietcook HB UserQuietcook HB User
Re: Dont think I can take much more

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Last edited by Quietcook; 07-16-2005 at 07:35 PM.

 
Old 04-20-2005, 09:28 PM   #4
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schooldriver HB User
Re: Dont think I can take much more

Thank you for your replies.I feel not to bad now emotionally.Just needed to get that out.and my familly gets tired of hearing me whine lol(theyre very supportive) and I get tired of whining too.
Quietcook yes my ins. is an HMO so it is quite difficult to get a second opinion unless I pay out of pocket to see someone out of my network $$$. I dont have. Ive seen an ortho, neurosurgeon,and neurologist(same hospital)They all say that their is nothing more they can do for me except refer me to pain managment.I do have an appointment but its not until the end of May for selective nerve root blocks(L4/5 and L5/S1).Hopefully they will help.(fingers crossed).Just dont know anymore though.
Kari thank for your thoughtfulness.I have been dealing with this for about a year and a half now.I certainly hope you dont have to wait that long for relief.It seems that I dont get a break from the pain very often maybe 1-2 days a month.(instead of an 8-9 its about a 5) which is tolerable. now if it was like that all the time I could better handle it.But Im going to push the doctors for more options(have had all the conservative measures ESIs SI injections PT and more PT).I take vicodin es and neurontin and cymbalta.The vicodin isnt helping as much as it used to must of built up a tolerance(ya think)lol and the doctor wont rx any thing stronger.
This post is alot longer than I thought it was going to be So Im going to try to get to sleep


Hoping everyone has a painfree night and a great day tomorrow

Take Care Barb

 
Old 04-21-2005, 01:54 AM   #5
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ltedeschi HB User
Re: Dont think I can take much more

My doctor prescribed Lexapro an anti depressant after the first surgery I said I am not depressed she explained that you might not be depressed but anyone going through so much pain has to have anxiety whether they know it or not. I started it and will never go off it. It just takes the edge off all of the time I dont get so P.O.ed about everything.
Just a though I know alot of people fear these medications I did but thank god she had the forsight to prescribe them Now after three surgeries and probably one more I am glad
Good luck
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Old 04-21-2005, 02:10 AM   #6
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Read66 HB User
Re: Dont think I can take much more

Schooldriver

I am sorry to hear your in so much pain. This board is great place to vent. I've had back problems for a little over 2 years. I am also 38 and my name is Barb also. There are days I get so down and seems like I cry at anything, cause its seems like it will never end. It seems, with back pain it is such a constant, you don't get any break, or at least I don't, It hurts to some degree all the time.
You mention going to specialists, have the done MRI's, discogram, anything like that? I know they like surgery to be the last resort, and trying everything else in the process is long and painful if they don't help. Unfortunetly surgery is not a 100% guarntee either, that's why they want it last resort.

If you have had test done, what do they show, what has the doc told you? Then take that diagnosis and research the heck out of it and research it here to. If after that you still fill like no surgery is the answer. Then push for the pain pump the surgically put in under your skin.

My thoughts are with you and vent anytime we are here
Barb

 
Old 04-21-2005, 05:13 AM   #7
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Dealing in Pa. HB User
Re: Dont think I can take much more

Schooldriver, I Know Exactly How You Feel. I'm A 42 Yr. Old Male And Have Lost The Ability To Work, Hunt, Fish, Ride My Motorcycle,(had To Sell From Money Being Too Tight) And The List Goes On. Had Discekectomy At L5,s1 And Scar Tissue Replaced The Herniation And Is Pressing On The Nerve. Try Hard To Keep Your Head-up And Spirits High, I Know That's Sometimes A Full Time Job In Itself, But You Have To Believe There Is A Silver Lining Out There Somewhere!!! Try To Get That Second Opinion, It Can At Least Let You Know If You Are On The Right Path To Recovery, I've Gotten One And Found Out There Are A Lot Of Things Not Being Done For Me. I Think There Comes A Point Where We Have To Take Control Of Our Situations And Stop Letting The Doctors Dictate To Us How We Feel!!! I Know I Am Going To Take Control And I Hope You Feel Better Soon!!! Keep That Head High!!!

 
Old 04-21-2005, 08:44 AM   #8
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cardinal HB User
Re: Dont think I can take much more

Ditto, to all the other posts! You can learn to "deal" with it, trust me. My back started over 25yrs ago, unable to walk for days, a couple times a month. Went to work with heating pads etc. Did the gamit, chiros...Finally in 1998 mri...waited too long, several herniated discs. I was "undiagnosed" for so long and continued to do high impact sports, activities etc. Well, now facing a redo on my failed cervical fusion and a lumbar fusion from several collapsed lumbar discs. Yes, life has changed, as the previous post said I too sold my motorcycle, no more sports and even light gardening put me flat out last week.Just typing right now I am getting that knife pain in my neck. My hope? well saw a pain specialist yesterday, he actually listened!!! he said how did I put up this long? I've tried many meds, anti d's hydro's etc. Don't like meds, side effects were not worth it! But since my life is becoming non existant opted to go to a specialist. Reg med doctors just are not in "tune". I am on methodone, as of yesterday and starting to feel optimistic. Can't say the pain is better yet but time will tell? Also, yes, a Spine specialist as opposed to the orthopedics and neuros, I have an appt tomorrow, a 2 hr drive each way but will know more? I have a good neighbor driving me. I am only 48 and alone but ain't dead yet!!! Attitude, yep, if you can find a way to smile and laugh at all this, make light of it that helps! People don't like to be with those of us suffering, makes them "uneasy" that is understandable. So I find by making light of it, takes the pressure off them and me too. If they don't understand so be it, I and God know I'm trying my best.
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