It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Back Problems Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-24-2005, 06:57 AM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 261
diva78 HB User
Need someone to listen...Please

Thanks Bionicwitch for the info you posted....this site is very informative and the fact that it explains everything in so much detail and gives visuals....AWESOME!! My back has been really bad this weekend, how are you doing? I got a chance to go out to the farm and spend some time with family that I haven't seen in a long time. My son had a great time playing with his cousins...but my back was constantly hurting throughout the day. Most days it comes and goes but I didn't get a break yesterday. Oh...on Friday my b/f went to his follow up from his mylegram and found out he needs surgery to release that pinched nerve that he has...the test proved to be correct in what the doctor had originally thought the problem was. Can you believe we have everything times two in our lives? He's going through some major things with his gastric bypass surgery and I'm really worried and scared. He isn't able to keep anything down again and he is losing weight way too quickly. He isn't getting any nutrition what so ever and last night talked as if he just wanted to give up and die....he said that he regrets getting the surgery and would rather be fat and unhappy then live life like this. I placed a call into his doctor this morning and got an "on call" doc. He said that we should go to the ER and get him admitted....of course he doesn't want to....he hates hospitals and is sick of them by now. I just don't know what to do. I need some advice...some strength sent my way or something. It just seems everytime we turn around there is something else staring us in the face to overcome and rise above. It never ends. We must have really had some bad Kharma out there and it finally found us! I never thought I was a bad person...but know I'm starting to second guess that thought! I'm sorry for being so down and out....its hard to keep a positive attitude and happy face on all the time. I just want to sit here and sob all day...but I can't and I won't. We need to address the issues head on and not avoid them like he wants to do. His life is my #1 priority and I will not let him take this as a grain of salt in any way shape or form....I love him too much to allow him to be stubborn. I know what he is going through is hard...I can't imagine what its like not to be able to eat at all. How frustrating it is to get sick all the time and feel bad. He has no energy and is tired all the time. He is miserable and it breaks my heart to no end.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 04-24-2005, 07:35 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Mansfield,Ohio USA
Posts: 1,176
jdlfmc HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

Diva, I have been where you are as for thinking what have done to have some much come down on me and hon let it go it is nothing you or anyone else has ever done bad to cause these thing to happen I will say I have alwasy believed there is a reason for everything but that is not for us to always know, things happen and to try and blame ourselves or our actions for them is just a waste of energy try to let it go accept and do what you are get all the knowledge you can about the problem and accept the support of others.
As for your BF you know and he does he needs to go to the ER in the meantime have you tried giving him ENSURE ad the is a good way to get the nurishment his body is rejecting but only a band-aid he so needs to adress the problem, hopefully you can presuade him to go or he will accept that he needs to, remember if it gets out of hand call 911 it's for his own good as it sounds as if he is giving up on hiself and that is what our loved ones are for when we are unable to think clearly for ourselves.
Let us know what happens and know I'm thinking of you both.
Linda

 
Old 04-24-2005, 08:25 AM   #3
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,291
Quietcook HB UserQuietcook HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Last edited by Quietcook; 07-16-2005 at 06:51 PM.

 
Old 04-24-2005, 08:50 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Fl
Posts: 571
Bionicwan HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

Diva,

it breaks my heart too.
I wasn't aware he had bypass surg - when did he have this? have you tried ensure? or can he not even keep liquids down. I am so sorry for how things are for him - he has GOT to realize how meaningful HE is to you and your family, don't really know what to say. IF he would consider letting them admit him and at least get some fluids and nutrients in him he'd have to feel some better? I don't know what advice to offer you my friend. when you say he can't keep anything down "again" has this happened before? while it's not the same as bypass my co-worker just had surg for a bowel obstruction and she has the same dilema as your bf - she is however managing to keep baby food, jello & pudding down? maybe this will at least get him some nutrients til he can see what his original Dr has to say tomorrow? JD is absolutely right, IF he gets to bad he really has NO choice HE will have to agree to go to the hospital or YOU will have to make sure he gets there (somehow)

Sounds like you, my love, have OVER DID things ~ and with your added worry of his health that just adds to it. Oh how I wish I could just tell you to relax and rest today.....if only you BOTH could. Take some skittles and pack your butt with ice!!! As I sit here typing this my bottom is soggy from my ice but it DOES dull the pain.

YOU ARE NOT A BAD person!!!!
Don't EVER think that! you bring so much caring and concern here to complete strangers ~ a BAD person would be unable to even imagine doing that let alone actually do it and succeed.

Things will turn around for both of you - but in order for this to happen NEITHER one of you can "give up" on yourselves OR eachother!

please keep posting today and be here where people care about you.
NONE of us can fix this but we can support you while the two of you do it.

Love, hugs & prayers
sent to both of you
BW

Last edited by Bionicwan; 04-24-2005 at 08:53 AM.

 
Old 04-24-2005, 10:43 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Fl
Posts: 571
Bionicwan HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

just came to check on you....hope NO new posts mean your AT THE HOSPITAL!

please know we're all holding you guys close in thought today!!!

btw: spoke with my gf in Holland - now you have International prayers going on.

hugs,
BW

 
Old 04-24-2005, 08:35 PM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 261
diva78 HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

Hello everyone and thank you first and foremost for taking the time to post and let me know that you care. It means more than you will ever know. It's late and I want to say more than I can type right now because I am exaughsted...but I'll give you the cliffs notes version and tomorrow I can fill you in on anything that I've left out. He finally agreed to go to the hospital. He had his surgery on Feb 16 and he had complications where his stomach closed up and was back in the hospital on March 16 for a couple days. They had to do a scope and blow a balloon to re open the entry way..thats why no food was going down. Well...he's had the same issues once again for the past couple of weeks but just hasn't wanted to do anything about it. He is so depressed about all of the changes...physological and physical....they both have put us through the ringer. At any rate I convinced him to go to the ER and boy am I glad we did. I just got home after spending 10 hours at the hospital and they just finally admitted him right before I left! It was a hellacious day to say the least. My back is killing me from all of that sitting! But there are bringing in the Gastrointerologist tomorrow and we'll know more at that point and time with what's going on. I knew that my gut was right....and I'm glad that he is being taken care of. It was so scary to think that he just wanted to give up and didn't really care anymore....he hates life right now...and I don't blame him. I just keep telling him about all the blessings that we have...and how there are so many others out there with so many worse problems that get through their day one hour at a time....just like everyone does. It's amazing where you can gain strength from at a time when you feel so weak. I have to pick up the pieces for both of us! It made me tear up when I read all of your posts....I really love each and everyone of you! You are like my internet family and I will always cherish you. I am here for whatever you guys are going through at anytime so please don't hesitate to call me out...when you need me....whenever! I am going to go to bed and finally get a good nights sleep. Lots of hugs and love to you all....thanks again for caring so much about a stranger! You are such an inspiration to me each and everyday! I'll write more tomorrow~

 
Old 04-25-2005, 12:12 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Fl
Posts: 571
Bionicwan HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

and YOU to us Diva ~

Hope you got some much needed rest, so glad to know he is in the hospital being looked over and cared for by people who can help him with the physical part.

I pray you get some relief to your pain and that this week brings relief and results to both of you!

Hang in there, things are bound to get better!

Bionic

Last edited by Bionicwan; 04-25-2005 at 12:17 AM.

 
Old 04-25-2005, 07:31 AM   #8
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 261
diva78 HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

Thanks Bionic....you sure can make a frown turn upside down! I'm hanging in there and trying to have a positive mindset today at work. I just got off the phone with David (my b/f) and he said that the doctor hasn't come in yet...so we won't know anything for awhile. All the prayers out here in internet land are greatly appreciated! I hope everyone has a great start to their week. Bionic....we both shall get some interesting news tomorrow at our appointments....I will be hopping on the PC tomorrow night to fill you in and for you to fill me in as well! Much love and support to you and everyone today. Thanks again so much for all of your kind words and prayers. I really love you guys~

 
Old 04-25-2005, 07:53 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 110
acl828 HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

[QUOTE=diva78] Can you believe we have everything times two in our lives? He's going through some major things with his gastric bypass surgery and I'm really worried and scared. He isn't able to keep anything down again and he is losing weight way too quickly. He isn't getting any nutrition what so ever and last night talked as if he just wanted to give up and die....he said that he regrets getting the surgery and would rather be fat and unhappy then live life like this. [/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Blue]Good morning, Diva! Wow, God must have directed me to you this morning. I was just about to get up from here because my back is hurting but stayed planted for just a few more quick reads and here I am. Let me first say, I can relate to you soooo well. I tried a couple of outings this weekend and wound up having to hang on to my hubby both times because my left leg went ka-put and I kept feeling like I would fall.
Please tell your boyfriend that if a doctor has instructed him to go to the hospital...GO! My husband and I both have had the gastric bypass and 3 months after mine, I was unable to eat. I wound up very dehydrated and had to be put in the hospital for 3 days. My problem turned out to be a stomach virus but his may be something else. He must play it safe and get checked!!! Just to throw this out to you, I am no doctor and I may not be much help, but I will be glad to help answer any questions that experience will afford me the privilege to answer for you. My husband is almost 4 years post-op and I am 3 1/2 years post-op. Just know that, ok?
So, back to the back issue. Tell him he must get the stomach under control because they won't be able to fix his back until he is strong enough to handle a possible surgery. Enough of me babbling. You stand on his head if you have to. Good luck and may your troubles soon be over![/COLOR]

 
Old 04-25-2005, 08:45 AM   #10
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 261
diva78 HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

ACL828....thanks for sticking around and reading my post! Thanks for your kind words as well. You sound like you and your husband have been through just as much stress as we have had lately! David had his surgery back on Feb 16 and its been nothing but trouble ever since. His stomach keeps closing up and he can't hold anything down accept liquids...but he even has a hard time with that. He is very dehydrated and just so weak and has no energy. When he does eat...it hurts or he can feel the food going down and he stops after one bite. It's just so painful to watch him go through this. His gas pains are bad as well. Well in case you didn't read above...we went to the ER and he was admitted into the hospital. I actually just got off the phone with him and we have an UPDATE
The gastrointerologist came in and he said that they are going to do the scope and balloon thing at 1pm and if it doesn't look like its feasible they will have to surgically reopen it to keep it from closing again. He of course doesn't want that to happen and it hopeing that the baloon will do the trick...but I'm afraid that it won't...it hasn't before and I don't want him to have to go through this over and over again. It's just ridiculous! He's already lost 80 pounds and only has about 60 more to go....and its only been 2 months! Say some prayers would you? Thank you so much again for your support. By the way...were you happy with your procedure and did you guys have any complications? Does it get easier the further out he goes? He thinks that he'll be eating bearly anything for the rest of his life...and I keep telling him that it will get better...they say that the first 6 months are hell...and we are only through month 2! uuuggghhh
Ok...I better start working and get my mind off of this...I'll keep everyone posted the more that I know. Love and hugs!

 
Old 04-25-2005, 12:43 PM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Fl
Posts: 571
Bionicwan HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

Hi Sweetie

Just got home from a long day at work. We're changing out servers and I had NO access to check on you today...so glad he is still there, but SO sorry you have to be at work, I know you'd rather be with him and you've GOT to be exhausted

Know that we're RIGHT here and will be

your right tomorrow should prove to be at the least a very informative day for you, me and hopefully David too!

back is screaming - gotta do the cat/dog/hubby/me thing feed the animals = kiss the hubby and for me a VERY HOT & VERY LONG bath

will check in again soon ~
hang tough
BW

acl828:
Again, I'm so glad you found this boards, for MANY reasons
hope your having a gentle pain day.

 
Old 04-25-2005, 01:22 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 110
acl828 HB User
Re: Need someone to listen...Please

[QUOTE=diva78]Say some prayers would you?
[COLOR=Blue]You betcha![/COLOR]


Thank you so much again for your support. By the way...were you happy with your procedure and did you guys have any complications?
[COLOR=Blue]I was extremely fortunate with my procedure, as was my husband..no complications but we had one of the best surgeons, too. (not that your sweetie didn't)[/COLOR]


Does it get easier the further out he goes? He thinks that he'll be eating bearly anything for the rest of his life...and I keep telling him that it will get better...they say that the first 6 months are hell...and we are only through month 2! uuuggghhh
[COLOR=Blue]My husband had more trouble at first than I did. I thought he'd NEVER stop eating canned soups. Suggestion: try and blend some hearty soups (with lots of veggies and stuff we need) up in the blender until his stomach opens up. That will give him more calories and might taste better. I blended soup up for about a month for my hubby. It wasn't pretty but it tasted good to him. (and he's a picky, picky boy!)
I'm so happy you guys went to the ER. I'm sure he's less than thrilled to be in the hospital but the fact that he is there just proves he needed to go badly! They don't just admit folks for the heck of it.
Let him know that there have been numerous people who, unluckily, had some major hills to climb that first year post-op but also that, it will get better!!! Tell him just to dig deep and hang in there. Oh yeah, give me a holler anytime about this. I am no expert but I will give what advice I can.[/COLOR]

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
need a really good rsd doctor ASAP Jim 1949 Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) (CRPS) 1 11-07-2009 08:47 AM
Need advice...am I a bad boyfriend? Tubular Relationship Health 16 09-11-2008 01:57 PM
i need advice on sex b4 the big steap! dare2794 Sexual Health - Teens 9 06-08-2006 12:08 PM
I really need someone's help :) LostSoul101 Bipolar Disorder 10 02-09-2006 05:33 PM
I'm new here and I need some help... GinaMia Addiction & Recovery 75 10-29-2005 06:02 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is Off
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:47 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!