I'm 22 yrs old and I've been suffering with back pain since I was 15. The past year has been so horrible for me. The pain has increased so bad the my doctor put me on Oxycodone, Norcos, and Valium. I noticed recently that I would come up about a week short on my medication. I follow my dosage and do not deviate from it. Now, my husband confessed to me that he has been taking a couple "here and there" for his "back pain". I don't know what to do. I have a DR. appt Thursday and am thinking if I should ask to be put on a patch. Is that the right answer? I don't want to come off as a drug seeker wanting higher medication but what do I do? And how do I get my husband help without ruining my marriage? Someone please help me. I feel so hopeless.
hide the meds. What he dosn't have access to, he can't take. Seems pretty simple to me. I admit he shouldn't have taken it to begin with but I wouldn't make too big a deal of it. I've heard of worst things than that.
Hi tori and welcome to the board. The bad news is that your husband is stealing your narcotics. The good news is that he confessed. No one here can tell you what to do about it. If he has had a drug problem in the past, this could be the start of more trouble; if not, perhaps you should have a good talk to him about what your dr will do if you run out of meds too soon. A weeks worth of meds is quite a bit and not...a pill here and there...and I think your husband may have a problem you are going to have to deal with.
I do agree that you should hide your drugs but it's a bad sign when you can't trust your spouse. Tell your husband that if he is having back trouble, you'll make an appt for him with your doctor but that your meds are off limits. For now, I wouldn't switch medications or do anything that might send up a red flag to your doctor; but if your husband finds and takes any more of your meds, your marriage is in trouble because he has a problem. I hope it doesn't come to that but until he earns your trust back, you're going to have to find a good hiding place.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this on top of dealing with chronic pain.
Wow!! My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine the hurt and betrayal you must be feeling. This is hard and I worry about the meds being locked up and him being furious......take care of yourself and I am lifting this situation up in prayer.
The answer is: hide it. We all shell do it since you never know especially if you have teens in a house or friends come and go. When I got my first dose of narco meds. my pharmacist called me in a room and discussed all the do's and don't. He said it does not matter how much you trust your household members - this type meds have to be hidden and to try not to announce what kind medication you are taking to anyone.
I'm so sorry about your problem with your husband/meds. This post really won't help you, but it's a humorous revelation about how people will look for meds.
When my son-in-law was ill (now deceased), my daughter had to hide his own meds from him. She dispensed pills for the day. He would look for them, though, and sometimes he found them. When he did, he'd put a sticky note in their place with a smiley face drawn on it.
I can't imagine my hubby taking my meds. He knows how much I need them and my doctor has only given me the 'bare minimum'. I'm in moderate pain most of the time. Besides the trust issue, it sounds like your hubby doesn't respect you and your medical condition. That's a major problem. If you think he could change with therapy, stick it out, otherwise kick him to the curb and find someone that loves and respects you. Also, take your meds with you where ever you go. Don't let them out of your sight. Does your hubby have a history with addictions?
Honey, what your husband is doing is against the law. He is abusing narcotics. Now that you know he is doing it, if he continues you are also breaking the law by not taking action. This puts your own pain medication in jeopardy!
You really need to tell your husband to stop NOW. If he is having such back pain that he has to take 1/4 of your medications, he needs to see a doctor and get on pain management himself. It is very possible that he really needs this, but doesn't think it is such a big deal (a man thing). I hope it is that and not that he doesn't have enough respect for your wellbeing to keep his fingers out of your meds.
Have you told him how much he has actually used? If he is popping one here and there, he more than likely doesn't even know that you are having to go so long without relief. In my book that is abusive and if it were me, if he refused to go to the doctor, I would show him the door. I pray a good long talk will set things straight!
I hate to tell someone not to be honest with their doctor, but you could be cut off just because someone else got ahold of your meds. If I were you I would tough it out the rest of the week, then do like everyone says and get a small locking box for your meds, and put your husband on notice, that if he even attempts to do it again, there will be repercussions, what those are is up to you, everything from leaving him to turning him in, but you need to make him understand that leaving you hanging for a week with no meds is no joke, if his back pain is bad enough to warrent use of these meds, he needs to go get them from his doctor and not from you.
Good luck and please let us know what happens.
Whether or not to tell your doctor is a tough one. If they do a drug screen and you come up short of what is suppose to be in your system they not only will cut you off but think you are selling your meds. If I had this problem I could tell my doc. He would work with me on a solution. Every doctor is different. Switching to Fentanyl patches might be a good idea. That is what I use.
Is your husband dependent or was this just an experiment? Does he have an alcohol problem? Sometimes a problem with ETOH and drugs go hand in hand.
Hopefully, this is not a big issue between the two of you. Some people don't relate to the seriousness of taking or giving narcotics, especially Schedule II drugs. It is definitely time for a heart to heart but I wouldn't threaten him.
Last edited by Jack24; 09-19-2007 at 04:54 PM.
Reason: needs explaining
I would say hide them also. Talk to him and see if he needs professional help or if he was just taking them because they were there. Explain to him that you really need them and he can't take them. Tell him to go see a dr. for his back if needed. Mine are left out all the time. My son is 13. I probably should be putting mine away also. Something I never thought about. I trust he will not touch them but you never know. I hope you come up with a solution. I don't think I would tell your dr. because I would be afraid he stops giving them to you. Or tell your dr. you were in so much pain you took an extra one each day. Not sure that would go over well either.
I don't know what meds you are on...I would wonder does he have another problem like alcholism or drugs? Addictive personality? Always looking for the next high?
I know someone who has terrible problems physically and gets oxy and lortabs and his wife takes all of them. She has a huge habit or addiction, and there is nothing even wrong with her phsycially except that she has an addiction problem. It's sad. Its' sadder that he keep enabling her and keeps letting her have them. I think she clearly has a problem maybe depression or soemthing but going about curing it the wrong way.
I do know that since I've been fully medicated for years I have had countless people ask me for meds, I say NO. I keep them locked up because of kids, or anyone who thinks they can sneak some. If you go over your RX then you look like the addict and they wont' fill them.
I am sorry you are going through this. I hope you can find a good hiding place, Maybe inside tampons, he'll never look there lol.
Haha. I may try the tampon thing. Very clever. Thanks for the idea. Or tampons in a lock box. But, I did find out that he did have a Oxycodone problem for about 3 yrs! How I did not know is beyond me. I would notice him nodding off sometimes and he would just say he's tired from work. I also found out that 2 while I was here in Dallas he was using coke and the pills. I really don't want to get a divorce but, this has raised a big problem with us. He tried to make me feel bad for confronting him. He's a totally different person when now he has no access to them. Did I marry someone I don't know? Well, I got more pills and no patch today at my DR appt. Guess until I get the "tampon lock box" those babies are staying tucked away in my panties and sleeping with them under my pillow. How pathetic is this. I have to hide my meds from my husband. Has no one else had this problem?
Don't feel alone. I'm sure it happens more often then you think. You had the courage to share. Give yourself credit. I know you don't want to end your marriage but where will it wind up if he doesn't get help? What happens once you go off the meds? Where does he get them from then? Maybe get him some info on drug addiction. Maybe you can talk to a professional for advice. Hope it works out.
My mother had the same problem. She ended up purchasing tylenol or generic that looked like her medicine, put it in her bottle and put the real ones in a place only she knew of. Funny, when he admitted he took them, he told her he really needed them. When she asked him if they were working he said yes! He was none the wiser. At one point he did admit that he didn't "feel" anything when he took them, she told him it was because he was getting addicted. He kept taking them and kept telling her how much better he felt. I hope you won't have to go to such drastic measures but there is a reason doctors tell us not to share our meds with others. For one thing, what happens to you if you run out and your doc is out of town or it is the weekend. Plus if you run out faster and faster, what will that cause with the doc? And finally, if you are worried about that, are you taking less to cover his tracks? Remember, this is about you period. I sure hope it works out for you. Will keep you in good thoughts.
Well, maybe he is helping himself now and then...no big deal. My husband and I do that but then we are on similar medications for pain...this and that. But the difference is only one of us controls the meds. If he needs something for pain we talk about what kind of pain and is it at a level he would need the prescription type. Don't make this a big deal but do make sure you have some over the counter meds in the house for him for his occasional aches and pains. And explain to husband that the doctor and pharmacist will frown on you using up too many too often. I wouldn't tell the doctor I would have a conversation with husband then I would also keep my eye on the medicine(out of sight out of mind). Since they are yours then you keep them out of sight for now.