I have just spent the worst Holiday week of my life. I suffer from depression and take medication , my son is Bi-Polar and this past Tuesday he went nuts on us.
He got very angry at his wife and told her he was going to kill her and the children. He also threatened suicide. He has a 2 and 4 year old sons. He turned the oven on 500 and threatened to spray lighter fluid in the stove . I am not sure exactly what would have happened, but I bet it would not have been pretty. He did not spray the fluid , but kicked her windshield and destroyed some things in their home. Me , his father and younger brother ( who is an adult) went over there and he ranted at us, told us to get out and he hated us. We called the police , as he had the 2 year old in the house with him. His wife had left with the 4 year old, she couldn't get the baby away from him. The police called an ambulance and he was taken to the hospital. This is not the first time he has gone ballistic . He has been hospitilized 4 times since March and now his pdoc wants to have him court committed. The papers were filed on Christmas Eve. My son is noncompliant with his meds and goes off on a rant pretty frequently. I feel as if I had no choice but to call the police on Tuesday as he was threatening to hurt people. I am trying to come to terms with my actions and what has transpired since. I have seen enough of his illness to know when I can't talk to him and calm him down. I guess my reason for writing this is to get some feedback from other people who are bi polar and family members who have had to deal with this themselves. I feel responsible for the court committment, even though I am not the one to file the papers. I feel he needs long term intensive help and this is the only way he will get it. He told me as they put him in the ambulance that he hated me and would never speak to me again and I would be sorry for what I had done. Please any replies would be appreciated.
wow, what a holiday for you!! It's horrible that you had to go through all of that! I think that "commiting" your son was a good action. As you said, he was threatening to put other people's lives in danger. It sounds like he was thinking and acting irrationally and impulsively, in which case, if he would have actually hurt someone, he would most likely regret it later anyway. I wish that I knew exactly what to tell you to make you feel better. All I can say is that from my point of view, you made the best decision you could. You may even be a hero, you possibly saved the lives of 3 people (the wife, and 2 kids). Well, keep us posted on what happens. I hope things start looking up
"I'd like to meet a mad man who makes it all seem sane..." -Morcheeba
Congratulations you made it through the holidays.
Many things could be occurring to your son at this time.
A forced commitment is not a death sentence and could
assist him. There are many models as to how and why
this kind of behavior occurs. Not only could your son be
disturbed mentally there might also be physical or
emotional problems....deep and old emotional problems.
And then there is the silver bullet....spiritual kayos. Any
person who feels or believes they are separate from their
divine source is in hell and shall act out that hell. Get him
spiritual guidance, not religion, and he can turn his life around.
Yes, meds have their place but I believe in reading your
story your son has discordant feelings and self hate.
Your life and his life will be ok.
Nothing real can be threatened...
Nothing unreal exists.
Last edited by hbguide1; 12-29-2003 at 05:29 AM.
Reason: Please review the Board Guidelines below that you agree to. Only .gov and some .edu websites are permitted without prior authorization.
Thanks for the return posts. Today when I called regarding my son at the hospital I was told he no longer wanted any information given out about him. The HIPPAA law allows this to be put in place. Now we will not know when he is transferred to State Hospital or anything else regarding his care. He told his father on Saturday that he hated me and didn't want anything to do with us any more. Tough situation for all of us and I will have to learn to live with what I did.....right or wrong I took the action I thought necessary at the time.
I think your actions were right. You can't have somebody running around threatening other people's safety and well-being...I know it must be hard to think about doing this to your son, but it is the RIGHT course of action. He is a danger to himself and others and that definitely makes him hospital material.
Please don't feel guilty or remorseful or beat yourself up over it. You did the right thing.
"Gentlemen, nothing's too good for the proletariat!"
--Union organizer "Big Bill" Heywood
I am 33 & guessing near your son's age. I have recently been diagnosed with bp & have a lot of questions about it. But more importantly, I am a mother of children that are 4, 6 & 8. I just want to tell you that you did the right thing. I know others have said it already, but as a mother, if I ever reach a point that I could do harm to my children, I would want someone to save them. Someday, when he is stable, he will appreciate what you have done. Not only have you possibly saved their lives, but you have saved them from possible long term emotional scars. They are still young, & hopefully this will be a distant memory for them. You may be suffering with regrets right now, but you would be in even more anguish if you hadn't done anything & a tragedy occurred. The most important thing is the children & you did what was right for them even if it was hard for you. Many blessings to you & yours. Stay strong & be there for those babies! They will help you to feel better too.