this is stupid - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

weasel · 01-29-2004, 08:02 AM

total break down last night. i went to see my therapist and an hour is either way too much or not even close to enough. last night it wasnt cloes to enough. so i get home and decide that its a good time tohave a "talk" with my boyfriend. he was honest which is nice, but its not what i wanted or needed to hear. im absolutely beside myself. see i live with him. hes having money problems where his expenses are morethan he makes. i have a hard time making it through a 20 hour work week, he works his *** off. i feel like a useless piece of crap. i want to be able to help him with bills. i just cant. andso last night i tried to explain to him how my brain works. itseemed like a good ideaat the time. now i justfeel like an *******. i was crying so much last night this morning it feels like someone punched me in the face. this is retarded. i hate being useless.

thickman · 01-29-2004, 08:16 AM

Weasel, we all do that....

Sometimes I feel the "need to let it out"...

And I find for me, most of the time, I am letting out nonsense ...

Ah well, yesterday is gone, today is fresh... take it from there...

InfiniteMystery · 01-29-2004, 08:26 AM

I've tried to explain to my bf how my brain works before....... boy, was that ever useless. Unfortunately, Weasel I think the only person that is ever going to be able to understand how your brain works is YOU. I don't think you're ever going to be able to explain it to anyone.....

Hang in there - I've been there too. Spilling your guts in the hopes that he'll understand, just a little..... and in the end you just end up feeling more messed up.

Try not to dwell on it too much - like Thickman said..... today is a new day.